"False
ducks"
is the title of
my first novel. It remains unpublished
at this point but my plan is to have it published within the next year.
"False
ducks"
is the story of a same name radio sketch program which starts as an experiment but grows in immense popularity. The three main characters are Fuller and Carson who star in the program and Doc who co-writes and produces. There is a lot of fighting which goes on between Carson and the other pair as he doesn't really pull his weight and most of the time can be relied upon only as voice talent. However the animosity towards Carson is what keeps the show fresh and appealing.
This is all of course a thorn in the side of T-Bone the Program Manager who does not like "False
ducks"
and would love to see the plug pulled on the whole affair. T-Bone has to censor the show and keep the boys in line so they can stay on the air. He receives no help of course from the mysterious Station Manager who likes "False
ducks" and has his own covert relationship with Fuller who owns a cottage across the lake from the Station Manager. Fuller does not of course know the identity of his new neighbour.
In order to stay on the air "False
ducks" must have a sponsor and the trio crawl to Gilhooley the new owner of the Old Yankee Brewery for assistance. If Doc and Fuller thought working with Carson was a chore then they had their work cut out with Gilhooley who has some demands of his own in exchange for sponsoring the show.
Then there's the seven Schmeeler Sisters who want to use "False
ducks" to unseat Gilhooley from the head of Old Yankee because the Brewery once belonged to their family. Gilhooley had bought up the brewery from the Schmeeler family five years previous when it appeared after the Old Man Schmeeler's demise that the remainder of the living Schmeelers were women. This did not mean the Schmeeler women had poor business sense but that Old Man Schmeeler had made a provision in his will that if and when the Schmeeler name had no male offspring to carry on that on the death of the last of the male Schmeelers, meaning Old Man Schmeeler himself, the company would be sold and its assets distributed equally among his seven daughters in order to procure them husbands because lord knew, as did old man Schmeeler, that the Schmeeler girls were ugly to the bone.
And let's not forget Captain Bartholomew Albright the head of the Old Salt Brewing Company and his affair with the eldest of the Schmeeler daughters and how his lack of assistance only aids in bringing complications to "False
ducks", Old Salt, and Old Yankee. If ever there was a need for someone to botch up the whole stew despite good intentions it's the Captain (who by the way is a self-proclaimed Captain who gets seasick even in the bathtub).
Put these characters and elements together and throw in a love interest for Fuller and twin Sister for Doc and you've got "False
ducks". Oh did I mention Doc's elusive search for Noah's Ark and his belief in the elusive Marshmallow Spread factory in Paraguay? Just some more little surprises all contained in the book.
Check out the menu link to read some samples.
