{"id":1268,"date":"2018-12-17T01:32:36","date_gmt":"2018-12-16T19:32:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=1268"},"modified":"2024-12-06T20:16:45","modified_gmt":"2024-12-06T14:16:45","slug":"some-christmas-stories","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=1268","title":{"rendered":"SOME CHRISTMAS STORIES"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it&#8217;s about nine days until Christmas and I&#8217;m going to try and toss in a quick blahg. <img loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/theblahg\/images\/santascott.jpg\" alt=\"Santa Scott\" width=\"154\" height=\"235\" align=\"right\" hspace=\"10\" vspace=\"10\" \/>Today is December 16th and my daughter Abbie&#8217;s 20th Birthday so Happy Birthday to Abbie!\u00a0 I will mention her later on in this blahg but\u00a0 I really want to dash this off while I&#8217;m still in my pyjamas and to post some of my Christmas stories&#8230;both real and fictional.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 First up is my 2018 Christmas Light Display.\u00a0 Last year, my wife Jeanette gave me a new inflatable Santa which is good because my giant inflatable Christmas Tree started smoking after being plugged in and then the motor died.\u00a0 Every year it&#8217;s the same thing:\u00a0 some of the things from last year don&#8217;t work this year.\u00a0 Click on any of the pictures below to get a larger close up in a new tab.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-1.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1271\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-1-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Christmas Light Display Picture #1\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-1-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-1-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-1-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-2.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1272\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-2-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Christmas Light Display Picture #2\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-2-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-2-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-2-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-4.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1274 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-4-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Christmas Light Display Picture #3\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-4-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-4-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-4-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-5.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1275 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-5-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Christmas Light Display Picture #4\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-5-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-5-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-5-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-6.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1277 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-6-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Christmas Light Display Picture #5\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-6-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-6-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-6-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-9.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1270 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-9-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"Christmas Light Display Picture #6\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-9-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-9-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2018-Xmas-Lites-9-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The sad thing about the above Light Display is that all the snow in those pictures was from about 4 days ago and now the snow\u00a0 is all melted.\u00a0 Also, the large stump visible in the front yard is all that&#8217;s left of our 125 year old maple tree that had to be cut down.\u00a0 It developed a large split down the trunk earlier this year and Ontario Hydro had to cut it down before it took down the power lines.\u00a0 Fun fact, a limb from the tree did snap off in a wind storm over my Birthday weekend in September and took down the hydro line&#8230;twice that night.\u00a0 I think the Hydro crew were cursing me or cursing the tree that night.\u00a0 Below, is a picture of the front of my house in 2016 showing my light display and where the tree once proudly stood:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2016-Christmas-Display-with-tree.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1279 size-medium\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2016-Christmas-Display-with-tree-300x169.jpg\" alt=\"2016 Christmas Display with tree\" width=\"543\" height=\"306\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2016-Christmas-Display-with-tree-300x169.jpg 300w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2016-Christmas-Display-with-tree-768x432.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/2016-Christmas-Display-with-tree-1024x576.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 543px) 100vw, 543px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So what about those Christmas Stories?\u00a0 First, I have to give a prelude or prologue to my first story in the form of a list.\u00a0 The following list of movies are some lesser known Christmas movies that I like to watch around this time of year:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>\n<h4><strong>&#8220;Remember The Night&#8221;<\/strong> (Barbara Stanwyck &amp; Fred MacMurray) 1940<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Beyond Tomorrow&#8221;&#8221; (aka Beyond Christmas) 1940<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>It Happened On Fifth Avenue&#8221; 1947<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Miracle of the Bells&#8221; (Fred MacMurray, Valli, &amp; Frank Sinatra) 1948<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Holiday Affair&#8221; (Robert Mitchum &amp; Janet Leigh) 1949<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;The Great Rupert&#8221; (Jimmy Durante) 1950 aka The Christmas Wish<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;The Holly and the Ivy&#8221; (Ralph Richardson) 1952<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Room For One More&#8221; (Cary Grant &amp; Betsy Drake) 1952<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Young At Heart&#8221; (Frank Sinatra &amp; Doris Day) 1954<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Fitzwilly&#8221; (Dick Van Dyke &amp; Barbara Feldon) 1967<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;The Christmas Tree&#8221; (William Holden) 1969<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;The Gathering&#8221; (Ed Asner &amp; Maureen Stapleton) 1977<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;An American Christmas Carol&#8221; (Henry Winkler) 1979<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;The Man In The Santa Claus Suit&#8221; (Fred Astaire) 1979<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Ebenezer&#8221; (Jack Palance &amp; Ricky Shcroder) 1998<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Nativity&#8221; (Martin Freeman) 2009<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h4>&#8220;Arthur Christmas&#8221; 2011<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Of the above list, only &#8220;The Christmas Tree&#8221; 1969, and &#8220;The Man In The Santa Claus Suit&#8221; 1979 have yet to have DVD releases.\u00a0 <a href=\"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/en\/0\/05\/The_Man_in_the_Santa_Claus_Suit.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/upload.wikimedia.org\/wikipedia\/en\/0\/05\/The_Man_in_the_Santa_Claus_Suit.jpg\" alt=\"The Man In The Santa Claus Suit VHS\" width=\"200\" height=\"330\" \/><\/a>&#8220;The Holly and the Ivy&#8221; 1952 has only had a DVD release in the UK but if you have a region free DVD player or a DVD player or Blu-Ray player that you have hacked to make region free, like I have, then you can order it and watch it.\u00a0 Great film about a family gathering and happy dysfunction.\u00a0 I&#8217;ve held onto my copies of The Christmas Tree&#8221; 1969, and &#8220;The Man In The Santa Claus Suit&#8221; 1979 because I still have a VCR and it&#8217;s the only way to watch these movies.\u00a0 I have a bin of old Christmas Cartoon specials that were issued on VHS and never issued on DVD but some I have converted to digital format unless there was some copyright protection that prevented me from converting them.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Now, my copy of &#8220;The Christmas Tree&#8221; <a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright wp-image-1283\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969-173x300.jpg\" alt=\"The Christmas Tree 1969 VHS Front\" width=\"204\" height=\"354\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969-173x300.jpg 173w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969-768x1333.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969-590x1024.jpg 590w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969.jpg 1352w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 204px) 100vw, 204px\" \/><\/a>is one that I picked up at a Library yard sale some years ago.\u00a0 You can see from the image at the right that it&#8217;s a library discard.\u00a0 The thing about this movie is that it&#8217;s not a happy movie.\u00a0 Here&#8217;s a quote from the back jacket:\u00a0 &#8220;<em>Learning that his son has only six months left to live after being exposed to a nuclear explosion, William Holden <a href=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969back.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-1282\" src=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969back-173x300.jpg\" alt=\"The Christmas Tree 1969 VHS Back\" width=\"191\" height=\"331\" srcset=\"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969back-173x300.jpg 173w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969back-768x1333.jpg 768w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969back-590x1024.jpg 590w, http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/12\/chrtree1969back.jpg 1352w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 191px) 100vw, 191px\" \/><\/a>is determined to make them the happiest of his life.\u00a0 He meets his son&#8217;s every wish including buying him a blue tractor and stealing a pair of wolves from the zoo.\u00a0 The boy&#8217;s gentleness tames the savage wolves and they become his pets.&#8221;<\/em>\u00a0 Spoiler:\u00a0 The Kid Dies In The End!\u00a0 I told you it wasn&#8217;t a happy Christmas movie.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I like this movie.\u00a0 I think William Holden does some phenomenal acting in this film and Brook Fuller who plays his son, Pascal, does a decent job.\u00a0 But remember, this is not a happy film.\u00a0 I showed it to my two oldest children, Emily and Noah, probably more than ten years ago and they hated it.\u00a0 In fact, every year they are adamant that I never show it to them again.\u00a0 I either have to watch it myself or find a new viewing partner.\u00a0 This year, my daughter Abbie, who turned 20 today, had heard all the previous lamenting from her siblings but committed to watching it with me.\u00a0 It took me several days to find the VHS because it wasn&#8217;t in the normal bin and I had practically given up when I finally found it hidden behind some other old VHS tapes at the bottom of a cabinet.\u00a0 Abbie and I stayed up until 1:30am last night watching it.\u00a0 It still holds up but now I have to add Abbie to the list of people who won&#8217;t watch it again with me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 &#8220;The Christmas Tree&#8221; is not available for viewing anywhere online but I did find this ten minute video on YouTube that summarizes pretty well with scenes from the movie:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/i-SJHySR_tM\" width=\"450\" height=\"350\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><span style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Okay, so onto the stories.\u00a0 First, I want to present a new inspirational holiday message for this Christmas.\u00a0 I used to have a radio sketch comedy show from 1993 to 1995 under the title of &#8220;Dead From The Neck Up&#8221; with my friends Stephen Dafoe and Bryan Dawkins.\u00a0 Dafoe and I created two characters known as Stan The Welcome Mat Man and his sidekick Teddy The Topless Dancer.\u00a0 I was Stan and Dafoe was Teddy.\u00a0 Stan would welcome new people to the neighbourhood but would also rail against ethnicities and other types he didn&#8217;t like.\u00a0 I know he&#8217;s not politically correct but he&#8217;s evolved over the years.\u00a0 Evolved being that our radio show went off the air in 1995 and there was no new Stan until 2014 and then again this year when I recorded a new message.\u00a0 I&#8217;m going to present the four Stan The Welcome Mat Man Holiday Inspirational messages.\u00a0 The first is from Stan in 1994 or 1995:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<!--[if lt IE 9]><script>document.createElement('audio');<\/script><![endif]-->\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-1268-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/stanxmas.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/stanxmas.mp3\">http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/stanxmas.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><!-- Start Genius MP3 Player: DEAD FROM THE NECK UP -- STAN THE WELCOME-MAT MAN'S XMAS MESSAGE (1994-95)--><\/p>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">Next up is Teddy&#8217;s message from around the same time:\u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-1268-2\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/teddyxmas.mp3?_=2\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/teddyxmas.mp3\">http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/teddyxmas.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><strong><!-- End Start Genius MP3 Player --><\/strong><\/p>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">I revisited Stan in 2014 and recorded a new Inspirational Holiday Message:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-1268-3\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/audiofiles\/stanxmas2014.mp3?_=3\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/audiofiles\/stanxmas2014.mp3\">http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/dead\/audiofiles\/stanxmas2014.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">And just yesterday, I recorded a new Stan The Welcome Mat Man Inspirational Holiday Message with a 12 Days of Christmas Theme:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<p><strong><!-- End Start Genius MP3 Player --><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><!-- Start Genius MP3 Player: DEAD FROM THE NECK UP -- STAN THE WELCOME MAT MAN'S 2018 XMAS MESSAGE--><\/p>\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-1268-4\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/stan2018message.mp3?_=4\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/stan2018message.mp3\">http:\/\/www.falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/stan2018message.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<p><strong><!-- End Start Genius MP3 Player --><\/strong><\/p>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So, I know what you&#8217;re wondering is where&#8217;s the story in that?\u00a0 I wrote the new message so that counts for something.\u00a0 If that&#8217;s not enough, I&#8217;m going to post a couple of Christmas stories that I have written in the past.\u00a0 First up is a reflection piece I wrote around 2006 called &#8220;Pinheads&#8221;:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\">Pinheads<\/h3>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Once upon a time, which is not how this story should start but is how all good stories used to start and as I would like this to turn out to be a good story, there were three girls.\u00a0 I of course am remembering this and find fault in having not remembered it until recently seeing those three girls again long after I had matured and had children of my own.\u00a0 But for all intents and purposes this story is about those three girls and that once upon a time.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 These girls were pinheads.\u00a0 Well, now they&#8217;re pinheads but that long ago they were three little girls to three little boys and I was one of those boys and was eight or nine which is not really all that little.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My brother, my cousin, and I were the boys and the girls were the same age as us respectively.\u00a0 They were friends of my grandmother or that is to say they were daughters of friends of my grandmother.\u00a0 At that time my cousin lived next door to my grandmother and we spent a lot of time visiting between the two houses as we were but aren&#8217;t now a close-knit family.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Anyway the girls were friends of ours.\u00a0 And their father stank.\u00a0 At least I think he stank.\u00a0 It might have been those overalls he always wore when he came to visit.\u00a0 &#8220;Ma, it&#8217;s time to go a-visiting so I better put them overalls on and go wade about in the manure up to my waste.&#8221;\u00a0 I bet that&#8217;s how it went.\u00a0 All I know is he stank and as much as we liked seeing the girls we hated smelling the father.\u00a0 For a long time afterwards I didn&#8217;t readily associate relationships with the opposite sex with a pleasant aroma.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 What I remember about these girls mostly other than the pungent perfume of their father was that they were very friendly.\u00a0 I also remember one of &#8217;em kissed me.\u00a0 I&#8217;m sure it was the one who was my age but I might want to admit I probably said it was one of the older ones so the retelling of this event made me seem more mature.\u00a0 This of course means I lied to my friends about my first encounter with a girl.\u00a0 It probably was the younger of the set as I was the younger.\u00a0 And I think there were more kisses than just that one.\u00a0 That was probably why we liked those girls so much, because anyone who&#8217;d have kissed us boys back then couldn&#8217;t have been all bad.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Now here&#8217;s where I skip ahead and tell you I never saw those girls again.\u00a0 Oh I heard about them from time to time and I recall their father dying and the family having some financial difficulties and having to sell off the farm but I never saw them again.\u00a0 Well, maybe that&#8217;s not really true.\u00a0 I saw them again today and when I looked at them they were still girls except they were pinheads.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I suppose at this point I should describe a pinhead.\u00a0 I am by no means being chauvinistic or derogatory.\u00a0 I&#8217;m just trying to describe them using a term I heard once in a movie.\u00a0 Pinheads, is a circus freak term to describe not so tall people with pointy heads and little intelligence.\u00a0 I remember reading a book once about a circus pinhead who turned out to be rather intelligent but never spoke as he really never had anything intelligent to say.\u00a0 This might be a good thing as I&#8217;ve known people who have not had an intelligent thing to say but who proceeded with saying it anyhow.\u00a0 These girls had become pinheads.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It was in a department store when I saw the pinheads again.\u00a0 I was killing time with my two-year-old son by amusing him with brightly coloured children&#8217;s Christmas video jackets.\u00a0 I&#8217;m attuned to the pander of small children and so I didn&#8217;t immediately take notice of other cooings over those animated cases.\u00a0 It might also have been that the smell that I had associated with these girls wasn&#8217;t there.\u00a0 But they were there.\u00a0 Oh, they were older, and their mother who was chaperoning them was older, but it was them.\u00a0 I looked cautiously as it had been many years and I wondered after these many years if they&#8217;d recognize me and categorize me as I had done them as pinheads.\u00a0 The recognition never dawned on them.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I think I was upset.\u00a0 Here was a lost part of my youth and what I had held as a beautiful memory was now sharply contrasted by their childlike gait and vocabulary.\u00a0 I tried to deny it was them but when the mother called them by their names there was no mistaking their identity.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I&#8217;m trying to remember if they&#8217;d always been pinheads.\u00a0 They probably weren&#8217;t.\u00a0 I&#8217;d like to think any girl who&#8217;d have kissed me back then knew what she was doing.\u00a0 It might be that I remember this all now with a matured educated brain.\u00a0 This tends to cloud the memory as I analyze everything I&#8217;ve ever done and rationalize why I was the way I was and why things were the way they were.\u00a0 This means those girls may not have been all that smart back then but as a boy I didn&#8217;t notice.\u00a0 Children can be blind that way.\u00a0 Some say children can be cruel.\u00a0 I think it can go the other way, too.\u00a0 Children can overlook things like intelligence and handicaps and poverty lines when it comes to friendship or pre-pubescent kisses.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I did not say hello to the girls.\u00a0 I think maybe they would not have remembered me.\u00a0 I might be uncaring in not giving them that credit; after all maybe their memory was intact.\u00a0 What&#8217;s that about not judging books by covers?\u00a0 That would be more than appropriate as my son and I had been judging Christmas video covers without viewing the production.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I didn&#8217;t want to pigeon hole these girls as pinheads but I believe there was something in me that wanted to use the term as a defence.\u00a0 As I said, I thought a girl who kissed me long ago had to know what she was doing and I didn&#8217;t want to admit that maybe she really didn&#8217;t know what she was doing.\u00a0 It bruised my ego to think I might just have been an experience like swimming or falling or getting a haircut.\u00a0 As you get older you lose that blindness of childhood for the all seeing all knowing perspective.\u00a0 After all those years I was finally seeing the truth about myself.\u00a0 I really could detect pinheads.\u00a0 All I needed to do was look in the mirror.<\/h4>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\">The End<\/h4>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I like that story.\u00a0 It shows how much, like Stan, I&#8217;ve grown.\u00a0 The last story, which I&#8217;ll end on is &#8220;Billy Built A Robot Christmas Morning.&#8221;\u00a0 I wrote this around 2005 and the reason I&#8217;m posting this one is due to the fact that I&#8217;ve been thinking about writing a sequel Christmas story about Billy and what happened to him when he gets older.\u00a0 I haven&#8217;t got it written yet but like visions of sugarplums, I&#8217;ve got snippets dancing around it my head:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center;\">Billy Built A Robot Christmas Morning<\/h3>\n<h4>The first thing Billy did was to build a robot.\u00a0 Well, that wasn\u2019t exactly true.\u00a0 The first thing Billy did was to wake up Christmas morning, open all of his presents, and express his extreme dissatisfaction at not getting the Grim Reaper 4 video game.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u201cIt\u2019s too violent,\u201d his parents said.\u00a0 \u201cYou need something educational,\u201d said his mother, \u201cnot something that\u2019s all about killing and destroying stuff.\u201d<\/h4>\n<h4>So Billy built a robot.\u00a0 At first it was difficult.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t grasp all of the principles of building the robot.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t understand how to connect certain elements or to build a self-contained renewable energy pack to power the robot.\u00a0 And then there were the principles of motor control and incorporating a simulated brain with cognitive features allowing it to understand and carry out specified instructions.\u00a0 What did Billy know about any of these things?\u00a0 He was only ten.<\/h4>\n<h4>So Billy used the Internet.\u00a0 There were numerous websites explaining certain codes and how to enable certain features.\u00a0 He even went to a chat room and talked for an hour with a guy in Canada who had managed to build a fleet of robots capable of recreating other robots in their own image.\u00a0 \u201cRobots who built robots,\u201d Billy thought.\u00a0 \u201cThat\u2019s cool.\u201d<\/h4>\n<h4>It took quite some time for Billy to build his own Robot but when it was completed he was very pleased with himself.\u00a0 This Robot would be better than any others he had researched.\u00a0 It would obey only Billy and do his bidding.<\/h4>\n<h4>So Billy set the Robot loose.\u00a0 At first it fumbled around and crashed through a few walls.\u00a0 It was bulky and its weight was considerable enough to cause extensive damage wherever it went.\u00a0 \u201cCool,\u201d Billy exclaimed.<\/h4>\n<h4>Then Billy maneuvered the Robot down the street and had it smash a few cars.\u00a0 People ran in terror when they saw the Robot.\u00a0 Billy didn\u2019t care about the people.\u00a0 He could hurt them if he wanted too.\u00a0 He had learned from the Internet how to bi-pass certain inhibitors that would normally prevent the Robot from causing harm or even damaging things like walls and cars.\u00a0 But Billy would not allow his Robot to hurt any people.\u00a0 His parents wouldn\u2019t like that.\u00a0 But eating cars and smashing buildings was cool and nobody got hurt.<\/h4>\n<h4>Billy wasn\u2019t sure what he should really do with his Robot.\u00a0 After a while he got bored of just having the Robot walk around and destroy things.\u00a0 He could try and build other robots like that guy in Canada but then what do you do with a bunch of robots other than having them destroy more stuff?<\/h4>\n<h4>So Billy set his thoughts on world domination.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think about his parents anymore and he hardly even thought about Grim Reaper 4.\u00a0 This Robot thing was way cooler.<\/h4>\n<h4>So time passed and Billy built more robots and appointed his first Robot as their leader.\u00a0 But they all followed Billy\u2019s commands.\u00a0 At first they just all walked around destroying stuff but Billy soon commanded them to destroy only really important stuff so that the people would all be really scared of the robots.\u00a0 Sometimes some people shot at the robots but Billy had learned the trick to making his robots invincible.\u00a0 This just made the people angrier and they shot more stuff at the robots and there were explosions and things that made Billy more excited.<\/h4>\n<h4>Eventually the robots destroyed all of the cities and the people followed the robots through the countryside.\u00a0 Some of them still shot stuff at the robots but most just followed the robots because there was nothing else to do.<\/h4>\n<h4>The Robot that Billy built first always walked in the front. \u00a0He was the biggest.\u00a0 Billy had made some changes to him and had given him laser eyes so he could destroy buildings and stuff from a distance.\u00a0 Some of the other robots looked just like the first Robot but they could do different things.\u00a0 Some had saw blades for hands and others had cannons in their chests.\u00a0 There was this one robot that Billy really thought was cool that had treads on the bottom of its feet so it could run through forests and destroy trees and stuff.<\/h4>\n<h4>Eventually with all of the cities destroyed, there was nothing much left to do but to set up a post from where he could rule the world.\u00a0 That was easy.\u00a0 First he found a city that was all surrounded by water and he had the robots destroy all of the bridges.\u00a0 Then Billy had the robots build a fortress.\u00a0 That was cool.\u00a0 The robots kept anybody from going in there that weren\u2019t robots.<\/h4>\n<h4>All of the people who were on this new island city ran around and screamed and stuff but Billy didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 He looked over this new island and thought this is probably the best spot where no one could hurt his robots.\u00a0 He could hear the people all yelling and stuff but he didn\u2019t care.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u201cBilly!\u201d\u00a0 Billy could hear one of the people calling his name.\u00a0 Why would someone be shouting his name?<\/h4>\n<h4>\u201cBilly!\u201d\u00a0 Billy vaguely recognized the voice.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t heard it in a while but he was sure it was his mother\u2019s voice.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u201cBilly!\u201d\u00a0 Billy turned about looking for the source of the voice.<\/h4>\n<h4>\u201cBilly, shut off that robot video game.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been playing it all day.\u00a0 Now shut it off and come to Christmas dinner.<\/h4>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\">The End<\/h4>\n<h4><\/h4>\n<h4><strong><span style=\"font-size: 15pt; line-height: 150%; font-family: 'Arial Rounded MT Bold','sans-serif';\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, that&#8217;s it for now.\u00a0 I don&#8217;t know if I&#8217;ll get the sequel story written or even if I&#8217;ll get another blahg written this month.\u00a0 If I don&#8217;t then I&#8217;m sending you all my Christmas blessings and all the best for 2019.\u00a0 Happy Holidays!<br \/>\n<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it&#8217;s about nine days until Christmas and I&#8217;m going to try and toss in a quick blahg. Today is December 16th and my daughter Abbie&#8217;s 20th Birthday so Happy Birthday to Abbie!\u00a0 I will mention her later on in this blahg but\u00a0 I really want to dash this off while I&#8217;m still in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1268"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1268"}],"version-history":[{"count":31,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1268\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6534,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1268\/revisions\/6534"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1268"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1268"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1268"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}