{"id":1343,"date":"2019-02-04T03:00:48","date_gmt":"2019-02-03T21:00:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=1343"},"modified":"2021-06-19T20:18:46","modified_gmt":"2021-06-19T14:18:46","slug":"the-passing-of-george-arthur-henderson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=1343","title":{"rendered":"THE PASSING OF GEORGE ARTHUR HENDERSON"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I’ve written many sad blahgs but this is one that I am not looking forward to writing. \"George<\/a>My father, George Arthur Henderson passed away January 19th, 2019. He was 81. Dad was born on May 24th, 1937. He would have been 82 this year.\u00a0 I had previously written about the health issues my Father suffered after falling and breaking his hip June 1st, 2018.\u00a0 You can read about that in my blahg “WHAT HAPPENED TO MR HENDERSON?”<\/a>.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 To finish the story started in that blahg, things did not get much better.\u00a0 My Father was in and out of the hospital several times.\u00a0 He returned home in mid-October with nursing and psw support but his health didn’t improve.\u00a0 Equipment malfunctioned and he still had to have a feeding tube, a catheter, and was bed-ridden.\u00a0 I’m sure he enjoyed the times he was home but internally, things were not good.\u00a0 He returned to the hospital before Christmas and didn’t come home again until just before the New Year.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My Father had become very anemic and required blood transfusions on at least two occasions.\u00a0 He had ulcers on his rear end that widened and never healed.\u00a0 The week before he died I became very concerned that home wasn’t the right place for him and that it was also taking a toll on my Mother’s health.\u00a0 My Mother and I had fought about him going back to the hospital and possibly going into long-term care.\u00a0 It was not a pleasant time but finally she agreed and my Father went back to the hospital on January 17th with the intention that he would hopefully improve enough in the hospital with the eventuality of going into long-term care.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Around lunch time on the 17th I was called by the hospital and was asked to come and meet with the Doctor as she had some concerns about the care my Father was receiving.\u00a0 I was prepared for an argument because we had provided good care for my Father but I clearly blamed Belleville General Hospital for what had happened to my Father from June of 2018 to January of 2019.\u00a0 I was not prepared to hear what the Doctor really wanted to tell me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When I met with the Doctor she showed my the large ulcers on my Father’s rear end and went over the list of health issues.\u00a0 Then she asked me what was I keeping him alive for because there was no quality of life for him.\u00a0 She even said if it were her own Father like this that she would let him go.\u00a0 I was devastated.\u00a0 I needed to take a moment to process this but she immediately asked who was the Power of Attorney for my Father.\u00a0 I said it was me.\u00a0 She said then I had to make the tough decision.\u00a0 I didn’t hesitate.\u00a0 I couldn’t allow my Father to continue to suffer.\u00a0 I agreed to the recommedation to stop his feeds and all medications except something for pain.\u00a0 She left the room after telling me that Dad would probably only last a few more days.\u00a0 She said she was going to get another Doctor to come and talk to me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After the Doctor left the room, I went over and talked to my Dad.\u00a0 I asked him if he had heard what we discussed and he said yes.\u00a0 I then said that if we continue on this course that he would die in a few days.\u00a0 I asked him if he was ready for that.\u00a0 He said yes.\u00a0 Throughout all that time since his fall he never once talked about giving up.\u00a0 I had asked him the hard question a few times and he always said he wanted to live.\u00a0 This time he knew it was time to move on.\u00a0 I bawled my eyes out.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Soon after, Doctor Webster came in to see me.\u00a0 She had treated Dad four years earlier when he had broken his other hip but with better results.\u00a0 I liked Doctor Webster.\u00a0 She was very gentle and kind and she agreed with everything the other Doctor had told me.\u00a0 She agreed there was no quality of life.\u00a0 I told her that my Dad had basically told me he was ready to die.\u00a0 I didn’t stay long after that.\u00a0 I left and contacted my siblings and let them know.\u00a0 I later met with my Mother and let her know.\u00a0 It was one of the toughest things I had ever done.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I visited Dad in the hospital again the next day, Friday.\u00a0 They had just given him something for pain but he was able to communicate a little with me.\u00a0 I said “a glass of rye would probably be good about now.”\u00a0 He said “yeah”.\u00a0 He then mumbled something that sounded like “how are\u00a0 you doing?”\u00a0 I began to sob and tell him I wasn’t doing so well because I was losing my Dad.\u00a0 I pulled back the covers to grasp his hand.\u00a0 He was startled a little bit so I made a joke and said “calm down, I’m not getting in the bed with you.”\u00a0 He smiled.\u00a0 It was the last laugh between us.\u00a0 He drifted in and out after that and there was no more communication.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 On Saturday January 19th, my wife and I took my Mother up to say goodbye to my Father.\u00a0 It was a very emotional time for us all.\u00a0 Luckily my two brothers, Chris who lives in Ohio and Tim working in the Northwest Territories, had managed to make into Belleville to say goodbye to Dad.\u00a0 They arrived when I was there with Mom.\u00a0 Dad never spoke and he just stared off but he would raise his eyebrows whenever we spoke to him.\u00a0 I think he heard us.\u00a0 My other siblings also saw Dad on Saturday.\u00a0 Just after 11pm, I received a call that Dad had passed away.\u00a0 The Doctor was right, it had only been a couple of days.\u00a0 Dad was on his final journey.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The next few days were very busy and very difficult.\u00a0 Mom had said that Dad wanted to be cremated and she didn’t want any service.\u00a0 \"George<\/a>Tim and I met with Quinte Cremation and handled everything.\u00a0 We would eventually receive Dad’s ashes in a nice urn shaped like a deer.\u00a0 We all agreed that Dad would have liked that.\u00a0 Throughout that time I had been torn with guilt because as the Power of Attorney I had had to make that tough call to end treatment for Dad.\u00a0 I had copies of the Will and Power of Attorney and it took me three days to find those copies.\u00a0 When I did, I discovered there was also a Living Will that Dad had signed stating that if he ever was so ill that there was no chance of recovery or quality of life that we were to discontinue treatment and let him die.\u00a0 I can tell you after reading that, a big weight was lifted.\u00a0 I had honoured Dad’s wishes.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My Father was the last of his family.\u00a0 His parents and siblings were all gone and the baby of the family was the last to go.\u00a0 Here is the obituary that was posted for Dad:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

George Arthur Henderson<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/span><\/h5>\n

HENDERSON, George Arthur – <\/b> Of Belleville. Passed away at the Belleville General Hospital on Saturday January 19th, 2019 in his 82nd year. Son of the late Charles and Ada Henderson. Beloved husband of Sharron Nadine Henderson (Seeley). Dear father of Timothy Henderson (Rebecca Cameron) of Orleans Ontario, Todd Henderson (Tammy Thrasher) of Belleville, Scott Henderson (Jeanette) of Demorestville, Wanda Foley (Mike) of Wallbridge, Daniel Henderson (Debby) of Belleville, and Christopher Henderson (Valerie) of Hamilton, Ohio. Predeceased by his brother Claire Henderson, and by his sisters Helen Bradshaw and Muriel Grimpson. Loved by his several grandchildren and great grandchildren. In keeping with George\u2019s wishes, cremation has taken place, and there will be no visitation or service. Donations to the charity of choice would be appreciated. Online condolences can be made at www.quintecremationservices.com<\/a><\/span><\/h4>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I think that’s enough of all that.\u00a0 Instead I want to share some photos of my Dad.\u00a0 It’s tough because I don’t have many photos of my Dad.\u00a0 I’m sure my Mother has some but I wanted to go with ones as they related to me.\u00a0 The earliest I have in my possession is this one taken at the reception after my wedding to Jeanette on May 30th, 1987.\u00a0 It’s a nice photo of both of my parents:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"George<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next photo was taken at my brother Chris’ wedding to Valerie in I believe 2004:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Mom<\/a><\/p>\n

Then there’s a photo of Mom and Dad at my other brother Dan’s wedding to Debbie around 2008:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Mom<\/a><\/p>\n

The picture below is a nice photo of Dad taken at the Celebration of Life for my Aunt Helen who passed away in 2016:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"Dad<\/a><\/h4>\n

Next is a great photo of Mom and Dad with all their children on the occasion of Dad’s 80th Birthday in 2017:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong>
\n\"Dad's<\/a>From left to right, Scott (me), Dan, Wanda, Tim, Mom, Todd, Dad, and Chris. My niece Keri is in the background in the purple dress.<\/h4>\n

The following photo I believe is one of the last photos taken of my parents together in August 2017.\u00a0 This was taken on the occasion of my nephew Christopher’s wedding:
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I think that’s really all I want to post of photos.\u00a0 Now onto some memories.\u00a0 I have two special memories of my Dad.\u00a0 When I was a kid, my Dad was a big fan of Stompin’ Tom Connors and I loved his music, too.\u00a0 When Stompin’ Tom came to Belleville in the late 1960s or early 1970s, I begged my Dad to take me but I think he thought I was too young.\u00a0 He took my two older brothers Tim and Todd and they weren’t even fans.\u00a0 When Stompin’ Tom came again to Belleville in 1999 I got good seats and Dad and I went together.\u00a0 It was a great concert and a great time.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My second favourite memory is of going to the movies\"\"<\/a> with my Dad and my Uncle Rod (who sadly passed away last year) to see Walt Disney’s Snowball Express.\u00a0 It became one my Dad’s favourite movies and I remember buying him VHS and DVD copies of this movie.\u00a0 It’s still one of my favourites too.\u00a0 We had a great time at the movies and it was one of the last movies my Dad saw in the movie theatre.\u00a0 The last movie my parents saw together was The Exorcist from 1973.\u00a0 They went with some relatives and friends.\u00a0 Dad thought it was a comedy.\u00a0 That was George Henderson for you.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Because there were no services for Dad I didn’t get to share any of these memories or to share a poem that was special to me about a poet’s Father and death.\u00a0 I’ll share it now:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

WHEN MY FATHER WENT TO WALES<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When my father went to Wales in \u201961<\/p>\n

for his father\u2019s funeral<\/p>\n

I was twelve<\/p>\n

and knew nothing.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Death was real but remote,<\/p>\n

like the origin of the world<\/p>\n

or the Ed Sullivan Show.<\/p>\n

But having touched my father<\/p>\n

death became a constant<\/p>\n

in my world. Having taken his father<\/p>\n

my own was suddenly vulnerable<\/p>\n

to that theft, and from then on<\/p>\n

I guarded him with the magic<\/p>\n

of a twelve-year-old: words,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

things, the power of thought<\/p>\n

unknown to him kept him free<\/p>\n

of that other\u2019s possession.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Once he came close to falling;<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I forgot or relaxed or was distracted<\/p>\n

and he glimpsed his father\u2019s world.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Never again would I be so negligent.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And though he will fall, as he must,<\/p>\n

into his father\u2019s arms,<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I know it will not be the magic\u2019s fault<\/p>\n

or mine, or anything to do with failure.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He will fall as we all must<\/p>\n

into a world which was once his own,<\/p>\n

and seeing his old man again<\/p>\n

he will be happy, and happy<\/p>\n

will turn to brace his arms<\/p>\n

for me, following.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

—<\/strong>Dermot McCarthy,\u00a0 Canadian poet<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think I would have liked to have read that poem but if I’m being honest, I think my Dad would have rather I read from his favourite poems:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

I found my thrill
\nOn Blueberry Hill
\nOn Blueberry Hill
\nWhen I found you<\/p>\n

The moon stood still
\nOn Blueberry Hill
\nAnd lingered until
\nMy dream came true<\/p>\n

The wind in the willow played
\nLove’s sweet melody
\nBut all of those vows you made
\nWere never to be<\/p>\n

Though we’re apart
\nYou’re part of me still
\nFor you were my thrill
\nOn Blueberry Hill<\/p>\n

The wind in the willow played
\nLove’s sweet melody
\nBut all of those vows you made
\nWere only to be
\nThough we’re apart
\nYou’re part of me still
\nFor you were my thrill
\nOn Blueberry Hill<\/p>\n

BLUEBERRY HILL by FATS DOMINO<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/h4>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 All those years of listening to Stompin’ Tom Connors and country music growing up and I didn’t realize until I was into my twenties that Dad was a Fats Domino fan.\u00a0 It came on the radio one time and he said that was his favourite song.\u00a0 I don’t know if it remained his favourite but I’m going to play my Dad out with that song.\u00a0 Rest in peace Dad, I Love You.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n\nhttp:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/blueberryhill.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I’ve written many sad blahgs but this is one that I am not looking forward to writing. My father, George Arthur Henderson passed away January 19th, 2019. He was 81. Dad was born on May 24th, 1937. He would have been 82 this year.\u00a0 I had previously written about the health issues my Father […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1343"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4872,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1343\/revisions\/4872"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1343"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1343"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1343"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}