{"id":1559,"date":"2019-12-24T23:30:02","date_gmt":"2019-12-24T17:30:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=1559"},"modified":"2024-12-07T02:53:59","modified_gmt":"2024-12-06T20:53:59","slug":"meats-and-cheeses-and-baby-jesus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=1559","title":{"rendered":"MEATS AND CHEESES AND BABY JESUS"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it’s the day before Christmas and I’m going to post this quick blahg. \"SantaToday is December 24th and I’ve been sick for four days.\u00a0 Last week I had to have a prostate biopsy, a nice theme for a Christmas narrative, and I had to go off my Prednisone for three days leading up to the procedure.\u00a0 I was in rough shape and crippled up so badly that I my wife was assisting me in all the daily living activities.\u00a0 I won’t detail those.\u00a0 While I’ve been on the Prednisone I haven’t had a cold or the flu all year because that little steroid keeps everything at bay.\u00a0 Three days off the medication and a virus going around work managed to work its way into my system.\u00a0 I’m on the mend now and I hope Christmas day will see me close to my normal.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I decided to write another story for this Christmas season.\u00a0 I won’t go into many of the details regarding the theme because the title of this blahg is the same as the Christmas Entertainment below.\u00a0 This year’s story is all true with nothing made up but some embellishment allowed.\u00a0 I hope that people enjoy it.\u00a0 It was an experience just living it, let me tell you.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MEATS AND CHEESES AND BABY JESUS<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

For the last few years I have endeavored to write a new annual Christmas story.\u00a0 All of these have been fictional and I always struggle to try and find an original idea.\u00a0 Sometimes a funny thought or phrase will pop into my head while I\u2019m shaving or driving or avoiding listening to someone droning on at me.\u00a0 I should be clear that the droning on does not refer to my wife or colleagues but then I\u2019d never admit to it.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I swear that the process of writing a story starts earlier each year but with the actual writing part getting later and later into the season.\u00a0 The idea usually germinates for a while and then I write sporadically until a glance at the calendar emphasizes the need to double down on my efforts.\u00a0 This year I promised myself it would be different.\u00a0 Oh, I\u2019m still writing this past the half-way mark of December but I\u2019ve decided that this year\u2019s effort will not be fictional.\u00a0 It\u2019s just too hard coming up with characters and situations when sometimes the truth is so much more entertaining.<\/h3>\n

So this is going to be a Christmas Entertainment.\u00a0 I\u2019ve used that term before when I once self-published a collection of stories in a volume titled \u201cProof For Believing\u201d.\u00a0 There were sections for short stories, poems, radio scrips, and the catch-all of Christmas Entertainments that were observations or recollections from past Christmases.\u00a0 This year\u2019s offering fits well into the category and I swear most if not all of this is true.\u00a0 I hope it entertains the reader.\u00a0 I know I was entertained in the experiencing of it all or at least inspired to write this entertainment.<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

As I have said, the process of inspiration usually starts early in the holiday season.\u00a0 Sometimes inspiration strikes around the end of November when I\u2019m playing Christmas music or during the first weekend of December when I\u2019m struggling to put up my outdoor light display and wondering why something\u2019s not lighting or something else isn\u2019t inflating or I\u2019m wracking my brain to remember where I put certain extension cords last year so I can access them this year.\u00a0 I usually give up looking for the cords and purchase replacements only to find the mislaid ones right where my wife eventually tells me I left them.<\/h3>\n

Around the beginning of December we also acquire our Christmas tree.\u00a0 I insist on a real tree every year but we\u2019ve now gone through two Christmas Tree farms and we\u2019re now onto a third\u2026but I\u2019m getting ahead of myself because the new farm is part of this narrative.<\/h3>\n

A number of years ago we used to cut our tree at Dewe\u2019s Tree farm.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even know if that was the name of the farm.\u00a0 It was just a large lot run by the Dewe family.\u00a0 My oldest daughter Emily went to school with one of the Dewe girls or the only Dewe girl.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember exactly.\u00a0 What I do recall is that you drove down a dirt lane or mud lane or snow covered lane and past the Dewe home.\u00a0 The lot was out back and once you parked your vehicle it required a lot of walking after that.\u00a0 Oh, and there was no bathroom.\u00a0 One year my son pooped his pants.\u00a0 To be fair, he was three or four and had snow-pants on and had walked quite a bit.\u00a0 We had to have the windows down on the ride home.<\/h3>\n

Mr. or Mrs. Dewe was always waiting by the make-shift parking area with a blazing fire and hot-chocolate for the kids and white-fish for sale.\u00a0 I could never get my children to eat fish before that but I recall it being candied white-fish and that made the experience all the better.\u00a0 Of course toasting marshmallows over the open fire was something the kids looked forward to as well.<\/h3>\n

The process of finding the right tree was always interesting.\u00a0 When the children were little, every tree was a giant to them so they\u2019d pick ones that, to the average adult, were not tall enough.\u00a0 As they grew in height, the process seemed to take longer because they\u2019d argue about not only the height of the tree and which one was the fullest but whether we were robbing some woodland creature of its home.\u00a0 We always checked closely for nests or nut stashes before deciding if a particular tree merited further consideration.\u00a0 We would of course walk about again before deciding on the tree we saw in the first few minutes of our trek.<\/h3>\n

The tree would be tied to the roof and hauled away home where it always had a prominent position in the home after the heavy moving of furniture was finished.\u00a0 The cats always hunkered under the tree and drank the water from the stand and batted at the ornaments hanging on lower branches.\u00a0 Until the Children grew in height, most of the ornaments hung by their hands were on lower branches.<\/h3>\n

I remember one particular Dewe farm Christmas tree that either came with an extra surprise or attracted one.\u00a0 I recall coming downstairs one morning with my son and noticing one of our cats perched on the back of a recliner and staring intently into the boughs of our tree.\u00a0 There, on one branch close to where it grew out of the trunk, was perched a small mouse.\u00a0 It was a beautiful sight and the mouse was cute.\u00a0 I however, was terrified.\u00a0 I don\u2019t do mice.\u00a0 That\u2019s another story.\u00a0 My wife is the trap and live release expert in our home.\u00a0 That morning I mustered up enough courage though to hasten along the visitor.\u00a0 I turned on the Christmas tree lights and the mouse booked it down the tree and across the floor and under the couch with our cat fast on its trail.\u00a0 The cat held it at bay under the sofa until my wife got up and caught it later in a margarine dish and released it outside.\u00a0 I missed that experience.\u00a0 When she got up, I went back to bed.<\/h3>\n

Eventually the Dewe family gave up running the tree lot.\u00a0 That\u2019s when we switched to Moore\u2019s near Bloomfield.\u00a0 The price also went from Dewe\u2019s $15 to Moore\u2019s $30.\u00a0 There was also more walking involved.\u00a0 There was still no bathroom but at least the children were older and could hold it longer.\u00a0 Unfortunately I also got older and had to hold it longer.\u00a0 Moore\u2019s was not only more expensive and required more walking, the return trip home was now thirty minutes.\u00a0 Usually I was the first one out of the vehicle and into the house.<\/h3>\n

Moore\u2019s retired their tree farm last year.\u00a0 I\u2019ll come back to this year\u2019s Christmas tree search in a bit.\u00a0 I should add that I also have a tradition of disposing of the Christmas tree.\u00a0 At the bottom of our property is a creek that runs fast and deep in the spring after the snow melts.\u00a0 Our annual live Christmas tree, after its stint in the house, rests out behind our garage until I can get to the creek in the spring and chuck it in.\u00a0 It\u2019s swept up in the current and disappears.\u00a0 I tried following a tree one year and got about half a kilometer before the creek took a bend through a farmer\u2019s field and was carried out of sight.\u00a0 In my imagination there is a Valhalla for our Christmas trees down where the creek ends or maybe it manages to make its way to the sea.\u00a0 More likely there\u2019s a dam of trees somewhere along the creek route overflowing and flooding the farmer\u2019s fields or perhaps the basement of his farmhouse.<\/h3>\n

Getting back to the real point of this narrative and another particularly enjoyable tradition, for several years now my wife and youngest daughter and I have attended the live Nativity at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Bloomfield.\u00a0 I\u2019m not an overly religious person and I usually keep my beliefs to myself.\u00a0 Let me be clear I have an open mind.\u00a0 I hope that covers me.\u00a0 If there are those pearly gates and I get there maybe they\u2019ll rule out any of my transgressions while I was alive because I kept an open mind.\u00a0 It would be interesting to get through those gates and see deceased relatives, friends, pets, those past Christmas trees and that one little mouse who scared me but who I let live.\u00a0 That should count for something.<\/h3>\n

The Nativity story is a fascinating one and makes for a very interesting interpretation when enacted live.\u00a0 Bloomfield however is not the first live Nativity that I have attended.\u00a0 Once, in a large park, in New Market north of Toronto, I saw my first live Nativity.\u00a0 In my recollection there was a hill and I recall seeing the three kings crest the hill with matching camels.\u00a0 It might only have been one camel, which would make the going rough for the King sandwiched in the middle or the one in the back, but I\u2019m going to remember the experience being complete with each King having his own mount.<\/h3>\n

The Emmanuel Baptist Church live Nativity is completely different than that one in New Market.\u00a0 My first live experience was like watching a play and different characters entering and exiting the story.\u00a0 In Bloomfield the Nativity is a series of vignettes.\u00a0 Each part is set up as a station and you move from one to the next viewing the scene and hearing narration.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember the order but I know the angel comes to Mary, there\u2019s a scene where Joseph is also visited to explain why his virgin wife is bearing a child that is not his, and there\u2019s even a scene between Mary and her cousin Elizabeth announcing the latter\u2019s miraculous pregnancy and that Elizabeth\u2019s child would grow up to be John the Baptist.\u00a0 Of course there are the shepherds in the fields visited by an angel, the three Kings visiting Herod, and eventually the birth scene in the stable with an abundance of farm animals.\u00a0 There has never been a camel in Bloomfield but they\u2019ve always been able to muster up a donkey.\u00a0 I think there might have been an alpaca one year because there are a couple farms around that specialize in that.\u00a0 I used to drive by one of those farms and notice the odd donkey in with the alpacas.\u00a0 Apparently wolves and coyotes won\u2019t go near farm animals if there\u2019s a donkey around.\u00a0 Now that I think about it, the farm might have been a sheep farm and the alpacas were the protectors.\u00a0 Maybe that\u2019s why the alpaca was in Bloomfield.\u00a0 It was there to protect the sheep at the Nativity.\u00a0 Go figure.<\/h3>\n

The live Nativity at Emmanuel Baptist is spread throughout the parking lot of the Church.\u00a0 You start at one end and eventually work your way to the manger.\u00a0 It\u2019s more about crowd control because you can start as soon as you arrive and you can\u2019t move on to the next station until the one in front of you is finished and the spectators have moved on down the line.\u00a0 Lights come up and the narration or acting continues until the lights dim cueing you to move to the next station.\u00a0 Some years it\u2019s bitter cold and I\u2019ve been there in blizzard like conditions.\u00a0 You wait your turn, the lights come up and the narration starts, you enjoy the experience, and you make your way down the road to Bethlehem.<\/h3>\n

As I\u2019ve said, the live Nativity is a fascinating experience and if you are not frozen by the time you get to the manger scene then you are truly and wholly moved.\u00a0 But wait, there\u2019s a topper to all of this.\u00a0 After the birth of Christ, you exit the stable and are invited into the church proper where every table is laden with goodies galore.\u00a0 There\u2019s always an abundance of cookies, tarts, squares, candies, chocolates as well as crackers, meats, pickles and cheeses.\u00a0 Forget that birth scene, the sight of that smorgasbord is the true miracle!<\/h3>\n

Every year I try to recover from the bitter cold of the live Nativity by stuffing myself full of every sugary treat that I can manage to sample.\u00a0 There are so many delicacies that it takes an hour just walking about to be able to get your fill.\u00a0 Oh, there\u2019s live music and hot beverages as well but that heavenly banquet was always the true climax of the evening.<\/h3>\n

Last year I began to have some slight health issues and my blood sugars were creeping up.\u00a0 My Doctor recommended I watch my sugar intake and I decided to go one better and give up sugar.\u00a0 That meant no sugar in my coffee and a life with a limited intake of sweets.\u00a0 It was probably a good decision and it helped me to lose twenty pounds.\u00a0 This all came about however just before last year\u2019s live Nativity so when I entered the Church I had to make do with the non-sweet items.\u00a0 My Nativity experience in Bloomfield could now be summed up in a few words:\u00a0 Meats and Cheeses and Baby Jesus.\u00a0 Thus, the title of this narrative.<\/h3>\n

Now we cut to the current season and the flier that announced the Emmanuel Baptist Church live Nativity for the evening of December 6th<\/sup>.\u00a0 I marked it on the calendar and secretly counted the number of sleeps until the Nativity and the feast of snacks that would follow.\u00a0 I think we received that flier well over a month before the event.\u00a0 That was good, I thought, because I could make sure any other holiday plans would not interfere with the Bloomfield event.\u00a0 Even another Christmas party that we attend yearly at our friends\u2019 house was scheduled for the 7th<\/sup> after having had the date changed three times and then back again to the 7th<\/sup>.\u00a0 It looked like nothing was going to interfere with our attending the live Nativity.<\/h3>\n

My luck ran out.\u00a0 Even though that other event on the 7th<\/sup> would not conflict with Bloomfield, I could not control plans made by others.\u00a0 This time it was a staff Christmas party.\u00a0 An email had been sent out in mid-November polling everyone for best dates.\u00a0 I of course steered clear of even suggesting the 6th<\/sup>.\u00a0 I would have gladly have given up the party with our friends on the 7th<\/sup> but when you\u2019re a lone voice and everyone else picks a date you are holding close to your chest, you can\u2019t win.\u00a0 The staff Christmas party was a go for the 6th<\/sup>.<\/h3>\n

To say that I was disappointed about not being able to attend the live Nativity is an understatement.\u00a0 I tried not to grumble about it but some of my colleagues knew I was disappointed.\u00a0 Some even thought I must be really religious if I had such dedication to the Nativity.\u00a0 I thought about explaining my open mind policy regarding religion but in the end I just told everyone it was something more important than all of that.\u00a0 It was about the meats and cheeses and baby Jesus.\u00a0 It became my mantra when others became excited about how much they were looking forward to the staff party and becoming intoxicated.\u00a0 I don\u2019t drink.\u00a0 So I\u2019d just mutter \u201cmeats and cheeses and baby Jesus\u201d under my breath and go about my business.<\/h3>\n

Two days before the staff party I broke my own vow against sugary confection.\u00a0 I co-facilitate a men\u2019s drop-in group at work and that particular day one of the attendees brought in some Portuguese Tarts to share with the group.\u00a0 My colleague Alex extolled the virtues of the tart so much that I bowed to his peer pressure and ate one of the tarts.\u00a0 It was a sugary custard tart delight.\u00a0 The next day I was I sick.\u00a0 Thank you, Alex.<\/h3>\n

I had been so good about avoiding all types of sweets that I think my body wasn\u2019t ready for the rich sweetness of the tart.\u00a0 It might also have been my body\u2019s way of acting out its frustration that we weren\u2019t going to get to sample all of those meats and cheeses.\u00a0 The day after eating that tart I couldn\u2019t be close enough to a bathroom.\u00a0 There was a constant feeling that my bowels were ready to explode but all that would come out was sound or liquid.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure that\u2019s not an image you expected to have in a story that also references the birth of Christ.<\/h3>\n

I still managed to go to work and keep up good spirits but inside my stomach was churning.\u00a0 That evening I went out with a friend and I bought a platter of crackers, meats, and cheeses and a bottle of Schweppes Ginger Ale.\u00a0 The platter was an assurance that I would at least be able to keep a part of my tradition by having the meats and cheeses on the night Jesus was being born in Bloomfield every five minutes.\u00a0 The Schweppes was an added bonus because it was the only libation I would allow as an indulgence at this time of year.\u00a0 The staff party was going to be held at my colleague Brittany\u2019s house and she was a Canada Dry Ginger Ale fan and if I didn\u2019t take the Schweppes then I\u2019d have no say in what was offered to me.<\/h3>\n

The following morning, being the day of the staff party, was a Saturday and we had arranged to go cut down our Christmas tree for the year.\u00a0 Our daughter Abbie was home but was taking a train back to Toronto that afternoon so she could attend a musical with her older sister Emily.\u00a0 We would then drive to Toronto the following day to pick her up and bring her back home again for the rest of her holidays along with her necessities for the seasonal break and twenty pounds worth of laundry.\u00a0 I really wanted Abbie to be included in the tree selection because she hadn\u2019t missed a year of selecting a tree yet and with her older siblings in Toronto, it meant so much to me to have one of the children at least be involved.<\/h3>\n

I had done some research and with Dewe\u2019s long closed and Moore\u2019s finishing up the previous year, I still wanted to continue the tradition of going to a Christmas Tree farm and cutting down our own.\u00a0 The closest farm, being 45 minutes away outside of Napanee, was Carol\u2019s Christmas Tree Farm.\u00a0 I thought the name of \u201cCarol\u201d and Christmas was a good connection and the fact that the last four digits of their telephone number spelled out \u201cXmas\u201d synched the deal.\u00a0 My stomach was still rolling from that Portuguese Tart but the thought of still being able to cut my own tree was a risk I was willing to take and outweighed the thought of the 45 minute drive and the inevitability that, like Dewe\u2019s and Moores, there would be no bathroom.<\/h3>\n

There\u2019s not much to mention about the experience at Carol\u2019s.\u00a0 There had been a good deal of snow over the days leading up to our excursion so walking among the trees was magical if not slow going.\u00a0 The farm itself seemed to be more upscale than Dewe\u2019s or Moore’s and lent itself more towards the pretentious side with wagon rides, overpriced hot beverages, and a gift boutique.\u00a0 It was also more expensive.\u00a0 This year\u2019s tree cost me $50.\u00a0 That was more than the combined total of a tree from Dewe\u2019s and Moore\u2019s.\u00a0 At least I didn\u2019t poop my pants.\u00a0 There still wasn\u2019t anything coming out of that end so the lack of bathroom facilities didn\u2019t make much difference.<\/h3>\n

The only other major change with Carol\u2019s Christmas Tree farm was that they had some sort of netting device that you rammed your tree through to end up with a tree that resembled those netted hams or those bags of onions.\u00a0 The whole netting process made it easier to secure your tree to the roof of your vehicle.\u00a0 That was usually what we would do and I had brought along a goodly amount of rope as I wanted to ensure that the tree survived the 45 minute drive home.\u00a0 Instead, because the tree was compressed in its netting enclosure, we managed to load it into our SUV with only one seat folded down and Abbie riding comfortably next to the tree in the other seat.\u00a0 It was a nice fragrant ride home.\u00a0 The total opposite of that time that my son\u2026well you know.<\/h3>\n

The rest of the day was busy securing the tree into its stand in the house and cleaning up the needles that inevitably shed in our vehicle and across our floors despite the netting.\u00a0 We left the decorating for another day because we had to also make sure that Abbie got on her train.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t want to leave her out of doing up the tree and I could use a little rest before the staff party.\u00a0 In other words, I had a nap.<\/h3>\n

The drive to Brittany\u2019s house was an hour from my house.\u00a0 Everyone else lived within thirty minutes of her house but I had to leave at 6 so I could be there for the 7pm start.\u00a0 I was the first to arrive and got the tour of Brittany\u2019s new house.\u00a0 I also got the first view of the buffet that Brittany had laid out.\u00a0 Indeed there were many sweet items as well as an assortment of meats and cheeses.\u00a0 I needn\u2019t have worried about missing out on the meats and cheeses.\u00a0 I also didn\u2019t have to bring the platter of crackers, meats, and cheeses that I had purchased.\u00a0 In fact, I don\u2019t believe the seal was even cracked open on the platter that night.\u00a0 Oh well, I didn\u2019t go without and I also had my Schweppes.<\/h3>\n

Within fifteen minutes everyone else arrived at the party and I sat next to my colleague Terry on the sofa until someone suggested a game of Euchre in the kitchen.\u00a0 Terry and I were partners and I never moved out of the kitchen for the next two and half hours while Terry and I took on and took down four other pairs of opponents consisting of work colleagues or their spouses.\u00a0 At one point Terry and I came back from a seven to nothing deficit to beat one opposing team.\u00a0 At ten o\u2019clock I begged out of another game because I had that hour ride home and had to get up and drive to Toronto the next morning.\u00a0 Terry would go on to play that final game with another partner and would lose.\u00a0 At least I would retire unbeaten.\u00a0 Nothing says Christmas like the competitiveness of a card game.<\/h3>\n

The next day we drove to Toronto.\u00a0 I was still feeling unwell and slept all the way up while my wife drove.\u00a0 On the return trip I managed to drive half-way home before giving into my body again and sleeping the remaining way.\u00a0 I also had another quick nap before my wife and I had to head out to the Christmas party at our friends.<\/h3>\n

The annual party at our friends, Rick and Debbie\u2019s is always a joyous occasion with singing and eating.\u00a0 Rick plays the piano and their friend Greg plays a portable drumming device while my wife and Debbie gather around the piano as vocal accompaniment.\u00a0 The rest of us join in on the carols we know or fumble along on those we think we know.\u00a0 The food is potluck so you never know what you\u2019re going to get.\u00a0 This year there were lots of crackers and cheeses but no meats.\u00a0 I think my stomach was thankful for that.\u00a0 Rick, at one point, offered me a glass of Ginger Ale.\u00a0 It was Canada Dry.\u00a0 I was holding onto the glass and talking with someone when Rick came back and asked me if there was anything wrong with the Ginger Ale.\u00a0 I said I hadn\u2019t tasted it yet but his concern wasn\u2019t that I thought there was something wrong with my drink but that when he poured it out, from a still sealed bottle, it hadn\u2019t fizzed.\u00a0 It turned out the Ginger Ale was very flat.\u00a0 My stomach was also thankful for that.\u00a0 It further turned out that Rick couldn\u2019t recall when he had purchased the six-pack of smaller bottles of the Canada Dry but a look at the label revealed they had expired four years previous.<\/h3>\n

I thought that the experience at Rick and Debbie\u2019s was a good capper to my weekend.\u00a0 Not only had I missed the Nativity but my stomach couldn\u2019t tolerate the meats and cheeses that I could access at the two parties.\u00a0 At one party I had to supply my own Ginger Ale and at the other, the Canada Dry had gone off.\u00a0 I bet the Magi had never had such a rough journey on their road to Bethlehem.<\/h3>\n

Everything else came together in the days following that weekend.\u00a0 The tree at our house was beautifully decorated and my stomach returned to normal.\u00a0 There was another work party a week and half later without alcohol but with another heavily laden buffet.\u00a0 My stomach tolerated that one better.<\/h3>\n

At this Christmas work party there was also an ugly stocking exchange.\u00a0 Each year you brought an ugly Christmas stocking and stuffed it with goodies up to the assigned dollar limit.\u00a0 You randomly drew a number then you got to select an ugly stocking as long as it wasn\u2019t the one you brought.\u00a0 This year I thought I would make the theme of my stocking Meats and Cheeses and Baby Jesus.\u00a0 Unfortunately I couldn’t find a Nativity stocking but that\u2019s just as well because I don\u2019t think there\u2019s such a thing as an ugly Nativity stocking what with it being such a beautiful story.\u00a0 I found a stocking at a thrift store with a Santa scene that looked like it had been cheaply and quickly made with all of the threads hanging out on the inside.<\/h3>\n

I filled my stocking with a re-gifted bottle of wine, an assortment of pre-packaged baby cheeses, a word puzzle book, and a large salami.\u00a0 Unfortunately, with all of the threads hanging out on the inside of the stocking, everything I tried to stuff into the stocking became snagged and it limited what I could cram in there.\u00a0 I had other cheese and some crackers but these failed to make the cut.\u00a0 I also couldn\u2019t find a baby Jesus ornament in any of my travels to thrift stores and dollar stores.\u00a0 That too, was just as well.\u00a0 The stocking summed up my experience.\u00a0 It was an incomplete experience where I had to give up Bloomfield and everything else paled or sickened me\u2026literally.\u00a0 The stocking could not hold all the meats and cheeses and there was no Baby Jesus.\u00a0 Next year when I get that flyer from Emmanuel Baptist Church for the live Nativity I\u2019m going to have it enlarged and copies given to everyone I know.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t get the message not to schedule events on that date then I\u2019m going to call in sick.<\/h3>\n

<\/h4>\n

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
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\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it’s the day before Christmas and I’m going to post this quick blahg. Today is December 24th and I’ve been sick for four days.\u00a0 Last week I had to have a prostate biopsy, a nice theme for a Christmas narrative, and I had to go off my Prednisone for three days leading up […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1559"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6543,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1559\/revisions\/6543"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}