{"id":6136,"date":"2023-12-23T01:16:04","date_gmt":"2023-12-22T19:16:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=6136"},"modified":"2024-06-25T01:34:45","modified_gmt":"2024-06-24T19:34:45","slug":"the-christmas-mayonnaise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=6136","title":{"rendered":"“THE CHRISTMAS MAYONNAISE”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My friend Bryan used to talk about his Christmas Malaise.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong>\"SantaIt seemed to be an all encompassing thing that he would trot out around this time of year.\u00a0 I thought it was just him being impatient with everyone and having to stand in lines and not really having a family of his own with whom he could celebrate his Holiday season.\u00a0 (See how I used “whom” in a sentence?\u00a0 The English major in me comes out sometimes.)\u00a0 I used to refer to Bryan’s malaise as his “Christmas Mayonnaise” as he would bring it out and spread it over everything joyful during the yuletide and sometimes I thought he was laying it on a little thick.\u00a0 Once, I thought about writing a humorous story about his Christmas Mayonnaise but, in the end, I thought I was making too much of it…until it happened to me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 I looked up the word “malaise” today and was struck by the definition provided:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

A general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify.<\/em><\/h3>\n

Yep, that was me yesterday.\u00a0 If I’m being truthful, that’s been how I’ve felt for the past week or so.\u00a0 Back up to the end of last month and it starts to fall into place.\u00a0 At the end of last month, November 30th, I got sick.\u00a0 My wife had been home for two days with a bad cold.\u00a0 I tried to avoid it and even slept in another part of the house.\u00a0 That didn’t help.\u00a0 On Friday November 30th, I woke up with the head cold and aches and a headache.\u00a0 I stayed home from work because the next day I was going to Toronto and nothing was going to stop me.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 Jump back even further to my birthday on September 23rd of this year.\u00a0 I was in Toronto that day as well.\u00a0 I had gone up to Toronto to be taken out to lunch by my daughter Emily.\u00a0 Her husband Charlie, my wife Jeanette, and my son Noah were there.\u00a0 Abbie was still in Britain at the time.\u00a0 We all had lunch at a nice deli that served Reuben sandwiches because that’s what I wanted.\u00a0 Here’s a nice photo of Emily and Charlie from that lunch:<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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Here’s Noah from the same lunch:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Noah<\/a><\/p>\n

Sorry, I don’t have a picture of my sandwich.\u00a0 I’m not one of those people who takes photos of their meals to try and impress everyone.\u00a0 My story should be enough.\u00a0 Emily and Charlie paid for the lunch so that was their gift to me.\u00a0 Noah surprised me by announcing he had purchased tickets for both of us to go see Martin Short and Steve Martin on December 1st.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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So that brings you up to speed.\u00a0 I was sick on November 30th but I had to make it to Toronto for Steve Martin and Martin Short on December 1st.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 I wont detail the evening with those two great comedians.\u00a0 It was awesome.\u00a0 I was full of medication and felt okay.\u00a0 I had taken the train from Belleville to Toronto on Saturday afternoon and stayed over at a hotel near downtown Toronto.\u00a0 I didn’t sleep well after the concert because I found the city too noisy and the head cold was taking hold again.\u00a0 The next day I did some shopping before taking a mid-afternoon train back to Belleville.\u00a0 By the time I got home, I was extremely sick.\u00a0 The head cold, the aches and pains, the headache, and tiredness had knocked me down.\u00a0 I did a Covid test and I tested positive.\u00a0 It was my first time getting Covid.\u00a0 This was after me getting my most recent booster a week before.\u00a0 My wife did a test and she tested positive as well.\u00a0 I stayed home for the next three days.\u00a0 I pushed myself to try and get back to work because there were some things happening that I felt I needed to be there for.\u00a0 I didn’t do myself any favours.\u00a0 I was weakened but I pushed through it.
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\u00a0\u00a0 Last week I tried to be on top of everything but felt I wasn’t getting ahead.\u00a0 I was planning for our own Christmas, trying to help my aging Mother with her diabetes, and trying to prepare for a Christmas lunch at work to feed around fifty people.\u00a0 \"\"<\/a>By this past Saturday afternoon, I was sick again.\u00a0 I had felt better in the morning and late in the afternoon my wife and I went to do some shopping at the Belleville Walmart.\u00a0 I started feeling dizzy and while browsing the bedding aisle I felt weak enough that I had to sit down on the floor.\u00a0 Then I was lying on my side on the floor.\u00a0 I’m not sure what my wife was thinking but she was concerned and asked if she should call an ambulance.\u00a0 I said no and managed to get up and go outside to our car.\u00a0 The fresh air helped but I wasn’t feeling well for the rest of the night or the next morning.\u00a0 By Sunday afternoon I felt better but I had a twinge in my lower back that hurt and wouldn’t subside.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 Skip to yesterday.\u00a0 Another busy week with lots happening at work and me at another building yesterday for yet another big Christmas lunch.\u00a0 Later, I had to go back to work and then find time to go out and look for a turkey for own Christmas dinner.\u00a0 I had been to three other grocery stores and hadn’t found anything I liked.\u00a0 I finally managed to find one at Walmart, where I managed to stay upright for the time I was there, and did some Christmas shopping for my wife.\u00a0 Unfortunately I found out later that I had bought something in the wrong size and it would require another trip back to exchange the item.\u00a0 On the way home I had to go out of my way and stop off at a fishing depot and pick something up for my son-in-law for Christmas.\u00a0 Driving home, I started to feel worse with a neck pain, headache, and that lower back twinge was increasing.\u00a0 Add to all of that, earlier in the afternoon my Doctor’s office called to say the result of my blood test from the previous day showed that my fasting sugars were too high.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 When I got home I was tired and sick and pretty well angry with everything.\u00a0 In short I had a general feeling of discomfort, illness, and uneasiness whose exact cause was difficult to identify.\u00a0 I was suffering Bryan’s Christmas Malaise.\u00a0 I didn’t realize it then but when I went back to Walmart to exchange the item I mentioned earlier, I began to remember that this was just how Bryan had felt and the Mayonnaise was spreading over me rather thickly.\u00a0 It was time to start taking better care of myself.\u00a0 I had to lay down on the bed and I just started crying, uttered a few profanities, and just grumbled to my wife.\u00a0 She wanted me to stay home from work the next day but I couldn’t do that.\u00a0 I was determined to push through it and try to get back on track.\u00a0 When I finally realized it was the Malaise, I was able to step back and say to myself that I needed to slow down and just enjoy the rest of the holiday season.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 My house has been festooned for Christmas for a few weeks so one thing I did was to take some photos of our decorations inside and my display outside.\u00a0 It helped me to focus on why I love this time of year.\u00a0 Here are some photos of our mantle display, our nutcrackers and our Christmas tree as well as a light-up angel we like to put out.\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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\nThe outdoor display has been a bit of struggle.\u00a0 I had an inflatable snowman but the motor recently died and my inflatable moose had to be taken in because he wasn’t inflating fully.\u00a0 I had put a new motor in the moose so I think it needs to be adjusted.\u00a0 I also had a plastic caroller set of three children and their dog that finally had to be retired because it was cracked and broken.\u00a0 Here’s what my outdoor display currently looks like:\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

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Of course it all looks nice with a little bit of snow on the ground but I’ve heard it will all be gone by December 24th.\u00a0 Compare that to last year when we had so much snow on Christmas day that they closed the roads in my area and my children from Toronto couldn’t get home until the 26th.\u00a0 You can read all about that in my blahg,\u00a0 HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS?<\/a>\u00a0 By the way, the pictures below show the snowman, the carollers and the moose from previous years. \"\"<\/a>
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\u00a0\u00a0 One other thing that bothered me this year was related to Sinatra and Ireland.\u00a0 I have this app on my Ipod that plays Christmas classics.\u00a0 For some reason, in the past two weeks, the announcers or disk jockeys have an Irish accent and the sponsors seem to be located in Ireland.\u00a0 Last weekend they had a dedicated Sinatra weekend and they kept making announcements about the next song in the rotation and would give a big buildup to Sinatra.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it was never Sinatra.\u00a0 Sometimes it was Bing Crosby or Andy Williams or Nat King Cole.\u00a0 It got to the point where I started to believe that people in Ireland didn’t really know who Sinatra was.\u00a0\u00a0 One of the songs they introduced was “The First Noel” and it turned out to be by Nat King Cole.\u00a0 If you want to view a nice rendition of Sinatra singing this song from a 1980 special, \u201cThe Most Joyful Mystery”, check this out:
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\nhttp:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/videofiles\/TheFirstNoel.mp4<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

\u00a0\u00a0 A number of years ago I put together a collection of Sinatra Christmas Rarities.\u00a0 These were rare versions of Christmas songs from Sinatra radio and TV shows ranging from 1943 to 1985.\u00a0 I thought about shipping it to Ireland but just sending a CD to the entire population of Ireland seemed a bit much.\u00a0 Instead I’ll post some tracks here and hope that Ireland is listening.\u00a0 The very first is a version of White Christmas that Sinatra sang on his Songs By Sinatra radio program from December 19, 1943:
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\nhttp:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/WhiteChristmasSBS12-19-43.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

In the middle of the compilation is a beautiful version of “Let It Snow” from another Songs By Sinatra program on December 25, 1946:
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\nhttp:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/LetItSnowSBS12-25-46.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

There’s also a very funny version of Sinatra singing “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” from the “Your Hit Parade” radio broadcast of January 1st, 1949:
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\nhttp:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/AllIWant%20For%20ChristmasIsMyTwoFrontTeeth-YourHitParade01-01-49.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

There’s also a funny parody of “Jingle Bells” with Sinatra and Bob Hope from the radio broadcast of The Bob Hope Show, December 24th, 1953
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\nhttp:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/audiofiles\/JingleBells-TheBobHopeShow12-24-53.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n

I’ll close with another video of Sinatra singing but this time it’s “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” from a TV Special from 1985, “All-Star Party for ‘Dutch’ Reagan.\u00a0 That’s former U.S. President Ronald Reagan in case you didn’t know.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/videofiles\/HaveYourselfAMerryLittleChristmas.mp4<\/a><\/video><\/div>\n

If that doesn’t lift your Christmas Mayonnaise then nothing will.
\n<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My friend Bryan used to talk about his Christmas Malaise.\u00a0 It seemed to be an all encompassing thing that he would trot out around this time of year.\u00a0 I thought it was just him being impatient with everyone and having to stand in lines and not really having a family of his own with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[46,260,31,13],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6136"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6136"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6136\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6358,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6136\/revisions\/6358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}