{"id":6420,"date":"2024-09-14T01:25:48","date_gmt":"2024-09-13T19:25:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=6420"},"modified":"2024-09-14T20:15:21","modified_gmt":"2024-09-14T14:15:21","slug":"6420","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=6420","title":{"rendered":"HOW GRANDPA PUT DOWN THE ROBOT UPRISING."},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0 This is going to be another one of those self-serving blahgs.\"Scott<\/a> I’m going to post my new short story.\u00a0 I’ve spent a couple of weeks on it.\u00a0 Well, thinking about it for a week and then a week trying to write it.\u00a0 I think I’m happy with the way it turned out.\u00a0 Hopefully it’ll give you something to think about.\u00a0 Be kind to your electronic devices!<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

HOW GRANDPA PUT DOWN THE ROBOT UPRISING<\/h3>\n

By<\/h3>\n

Scott Henderson<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

It started with the robot floor cleaner at the Big Mart.\u00a0 No, that\u2019s not quite correct.\u00a0 It really started with Grandpa\u2019s toaster.\u00a0 Grandpa would always tell anyone who would listen that the robot uprising would start with toasters.\u00a0 Unfortunately no one ever listened to Grandpa when he got onto the topic of the robot uprising.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDad, there\u2019s never going to be a robot uprising,\u201d his daughter Evelyn would say whenever her father spouted off about the subject.<\/h3>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t think so, Evie?\u201d he\u2019d reply.\u00a0 \u201cWell, mark my words, it\u2019ll start with toasters.\u00a0 How do you know it hasn\u2019t already started?\u00a0 Have you had perfect toast lately?\u00a0 No, and you never will.\u00a0 It\u2019s always too dark or too light or the toast isn\u2019t popped high enough and you have to fish it out with a knife.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cDad, that\u2019s dangerous!\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry Evie, I always unplug it first.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t want the fool thing trying to kill me in some unsettled notion of self-defense because it sees me coming at it with a knife.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Of course Grandpa never had these conversations when he was at home in front of any of his electronic devices.\u00a0 He was too smart for that.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t want to give robots cause for concern.\u00a0 So he was polite when he interacted with his devices.\u00a0 He said thank you to the toaster when it popped his toast; even if it was a shade too light or too dark or insignificantly popped and required the use of a kitchen utensil to retrieve the slices.<\/h3>\n

He started into calling his new toaster \u201cPop\u201d because he liked the sound of it.\u00a0 He\u2019d often address it and say things like \u201cGood morning, Pop,\u201d or the aforementioned \u201cThank you, Pop.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019d even give it advanced notice if he did have to unplug it or when he\u2019d clean out the crumb tray.<\/h3>\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t going to hurt a bit Pop.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going to unplug you while I empty your toast scraps.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019d pat it gently on the side while plugging it back in and offer something reassuring.\u00a0 \u201cThere, good as new.\u201d<\/h3>\n

He hadn\u2019t had to worry about his old toaster.\u00a0 It had been fairly basic with a lever for shading and a lever to lower the toast.\u00a0 Unfortunately, it stopped browning the bread on one side with the coils no longer glowing a brilliant red.\u00a0 Evelyn bought him a new one.<\/h3>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ll love it Dad,\u201d she said handing him the box on an occasion that wasn\u2019t his birthday or Christmas or Father\u2019s Day but clearly inferred he needed a new toaster whether he wanted it or not.\u00a0 \u201cIt has Wi-Fi capability so it\u2019ll constantly update itself.\u00a0 It can even be programmed with your Sensa Home Hub to start the toast for you at your command.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cOh, does it load itself with bread, too?\u201d he asked while trying to imply no sarcasm because he didn\u2019t want the toaster to sense ingratitude or to give the Sensa Home Hub something to gossip about.<\/h3>\n

\u201cNo, you have to do that yourself, Dad.\u00a0 You could put the bread in before you go to bed and then have Sensa set the time you want the toast ready.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cSo, all I have to do is put in the bread and then it\u2019ll lower it all by itself and then brown it to the shade I have in mind and will also read my mind to know when I want to eat my toast?\u201d\u00a0 Again, he asked this as if it was for instructional purposes and not in any way to imply dissatisfaction or offense.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWell, no, you have to depress the lever to lower the bread yourself then press the timer button on the toaster and then sync it with the Sensa.\u00a0 I could show you, if you want.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cNo, that\u2019s fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ll just do it manually.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure the toaster won\u2019t mind.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want it to have to go to any extra bother on my account.\u201d\u00a0 Grandpa wasn\u2019t taking any chances.\u00a0 He wanted the toaster to presume he was only thinking of its feelings.<\/h3>\n

Evelyn just shook her head.\u00a0 There was no arguing with her father when he was like this.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHave you heard from Mom?\u201d she said, changing the subject.\u00a0 The subject, unfortunately, was something else her father wanted to avoid.<\/h3>\n

\u201cYour mother?\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Was I supposed to hear something?\u201d\u00a0 Here was where he could show sarcasm if he cared to.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to insult any device on this topic.<\/h3>\n

Evelyn\u2019s mother, Della, had left Carl more than a year ago.\u00a0 She felt her husband was immovable and no longer open to change.\u00a0 So she left.<\/h3>\n

That\u2019s when the robotic devices started.\u00a0 Evelyn didn\u2019t think her father could manage on his own so she bought him a robot vacuum and then the Sensa Home Hub and then finally the toaster.\u00a0 She was thrusting change on him to move the needle.\u00a0 She still had hopes that her parents could reconcile.\u00a0 She was trying to open him up gradually to changes like this toaster, and other devices, and before that, the Internet.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u201cYou have to have the Internet Dad, everyone has the Internet these days.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Grandpa had railed against it at first.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t have a computer or a cell phone and his television was just right without it being a Smart TV which implied it was striving towards delusions of grandeur.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWe can get you a new television with facial recognition so it can identify you and automatically show you things you might want to watch.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t I do that for myself?\u201d he asked.\u00a0 \u201cHalf the time I don\u2019t know what I want to watch.\u00a0 I just flip through the channels until something decent comes on.\u201d\u00a0 That was something else that Della had found annoying about her husband.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t worry about anything Dad, Greg and I\u2019ll do everything.\u00a0 You won\u2019t have to lift a finger.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get it all set up for you.\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s what happened in the end.\u00a0 Grandpa couldn\u2019t put up an argument.\u00a0 He could but he didn\u2019t want anyone or more precisely anything to hear his objections.\u00a0 Evelyn and her husband Greg did do everything and Grandpa sat back and watched.\u00a0 Even Dandy didn\u2019t whine about it.\u00a0 She watched it all unfold and rejoiced in the petting she received from Grandpa.<\/h3>\n

Dandy had been another suggestion from Evelyn.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDad, I don\u2019t like you living in this house all by yourself.\u00a0 How about we get you a dog?\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019d tried to argue against the dog.\u00a0 He and Della had had a dog for years and after it was gone, he swore he\u2019d never have another one.\u00a0 Della held that against him, too.<\/h3>\n

In the end Evelyn got him a dog.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhat do you think of her, Dad?\u00a0 She\u2019s just like Jolly Rancher. \u201c<\/h3>\n

True, she was like Jolly Rancher but she wasn\u2019t Jolly Rancher.\u00a0 They were both golden retrievers but that\u2019s where the similarity ended.\u00a0 Della and he had raised Rancher from a pup and he thought she\u2019d been overly spunky and happy so he called her Jolly Rancher like the candy.\u00a0 Della would only call her Rancher.<\/h3>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s a dandy alright.\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t care either way but she wasn\u2019t Jolly Rancher.<\/h3>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a great name, Dad, Dandy.\u00a0 Your name is Dandy, girl,\u201d Evelyn said; christening the dog as if it had a say in it.<\/h3>\n

So Dandy moved in and was part of the family with the new Smart TV, the robot vacuum, and the Sensa Home Hub.\u00a0 Dandy didn\u2019t mind any of the electronic devices and Carl was sure to not say anything disparaging about the devices to Dandy when they were at home.\u00a0 When he took Dandy for walks, however, which was frequently, and an excuse to get away from the robots in his home, Carl spoke often to Dandy about their current living situation.<\/h3>\n

\u201cMind that vacuum, Dandy.\u00a0 Don\u2019t leave kibble on the floor.\u00a0 I know it\u2019s Robby\u2019s job but you never know when he might get fed up with having to clean up after us.\u00a0 Robby\u2019s probably keeping score.\u201d\u00a0 Grandpa had started calling the vacuum Robby after a robot by that name from an old science fiction movie he saw once.\u00a0 The vacuum didn\u2019t seem to mind the name and Grandpa always politely addressed it when greeting it or thanking it for doing its job.\u00a0 It was another sign of respect that Grandpa thought might lull the vacuum toward pacifism during the robot uprising.<\/h3>\n

The Sensa Home Hub was another story.\u00a0 Grandpa had toyed with calling it Sensei as if addressing it as a martial arts master who clearly was the undisputed robot overlord in his home.\u00a0 Sensa controlled everything.\u00a0 She could access the whole of the Internet and could answer any question Carl put to it.\u00a0 It also controlled the lights and the Smart TV and Robby.\u00a0 Grandpa knew better than to get on Sensa\u2019s bad side. \u00a0He addressed her politely with \u201cSensa, please if you could,\u201d or \u201cSensa, I want to thank you for\u2026\u201d\u00a0 Grandpa didn\u2019t think he was beholding to Sensa or Robby for doing what they were programmed to do but he felt that thanking them was the least he could do to protect himself when the electronic revolution started.<\/h3>\n

Now there was this toaster from Evelyn.\u00a0 Clearly Sensa had been supplanted, in Grandpa\u2019s mind, because toasters were the dominant species among the robots and the robot uprising, as he always said, would start with toasters.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa remembered the gift of the new toaster and the conversation that followed regarding Della.<\/h3>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a simple question, Dad.\u00a0 Why do you have to make things so difficult?\u00a0 I just want to know if Mom has reached out to you.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cAnd I asked you why?\u00a0 Did she tell you she was going to get in touch with me?\u201d\u00a0 Carl didn\u2019t like this topic.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t heard from Della in months.\u00a0 She\u2019d stopped by a while back, before he\u2019d been encumbered with his robot housemates, and picked up some items she said she needed.\u00a0 They\u2019d talked on that occasion.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHow have you been, Carl?\u201d Della had asked.<\/h3>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d he\u2019d replied. \u201cCan\u2019t complain.\u201d\u00a0 He could have complained but this was in the pre-robot days and his old toaster had still been with him.\u00a0 There\u2019d been nothing to complain about then.<\/h3>\n

\u201cThe same,\u201d Della had replied.<\/h3>\n

Okay, so it hadn\u2019t been a dialogue for the history books but they\u2019d been civil to one another and if she wanted more then she knew where he lived.<\/h3>\n

\u201cShe\u2019s lonely Dad,\u201d Evelyn continued.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re lonely.\u00a0 I had a feeling she was going to call.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cNope.\u00a0 No calls.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cHave you checked your answering machine?\u00a0 Maybe she left a message.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cOh, I never remember to check it.\u00a0 I guess I should leave myself a note to do that.\u201d\u00a0 Again, he didn\u2019t want to imply that Sensa wasn\u2019t capable of prompting him if he cared to ask her to set up a reminder.\u00a0 The answering machine wasn\u2019t linked to anything else.\u00a0 It was a basic mini-tape version.\u00a0 Besides, who would call him, he thought.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDad, there\u2019s eighteen unheard messages on this thing!\u201d Evelyn stated after glancing over the machine.\u00a0 \u201cYou have to remember to check your messages.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Evelyn played off the messages.\u00a0 Most of them were from Evelyn saying she was stopping by on different occasions.\u00a0 A few were from telemarketers who wanted to know if he needed his ducts cleaned.\u00a0 Rounding out the reset were a couple of robo-calls from local politicians seeking his vote in an election that had since passed.\u00a0 Robo-calls.\u00a0 Robots trying to call out to a human and yet even another robot failed to answer on Carl\u2019s end.\u00a0 There was nothing Robotic, Carl thought, about a strip of tape encased in plastic recording someone or something from the other end.<\/h3>\n

\u201cJust erase them all,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cI told you there was nothing to bother about.\u201d\u00a0 Della had not called.<\/h3>\n

\u201cSensa, set up a daily reminder\u2026\u201d Evelyn began.<\/h3>\n

\u201cEvie, stop!\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s not how you ask.\u00a0 Where\u2019s your manners?\u00a0 Sensa, could you please set up a daily reminder for me to check my answering machine for new messages.\u201d\u00a0 He was taking no chances.\u00a0 The new toaster hadn\u2019t been unboxed yet.\u00a0 Sensa or Sensei was still in charge.\u00a0 No wisdom, he thought, in tempting fate.<\/h3>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Sensa began her reply, \u201cI\u2019ve set a daily reminder for you to check your answering machine for new messages.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cThank you Sensa,\u201d Carl replied in return.\u00a0 \u201cI appreciate everything you do.\u201d\u00a0 There, he thought, potential uprising quelled for another day.<\/h3>\n

Evelyn shook her head again.\u00a0 She did a lot of head shaking when it came to her father.<\/h3>\n

Carl walked Evelyn out to her car.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this?\u201d he asked when viewing her new vehicle.\u00a0 He\u2019d been taken aback by this recent upgrade.<\/h3>\n

\u201cOh, it\u2019s our new car.\u00a0 It\u2019s one of those self-driving kind.\u00a0 It\u2019s a god-send.\u00a0 Greg and I don\u2019t know how we\u2019ve ever lived without one.\u00a0 We can get so much more done while the car does the driving.\u00a0 I\u2019ve caught up on all my reading.\u00a0 We can even interact more with the children when we\u2019re on long car rides.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Carl grabbed Evelyn by the arm and led her off down the driveway to the sidewalk and out of earshot of the car.<\/h3>\n

\u201cEvie, are you crazy?\u00a0 What will you do when the robot uprising comes and that car takes you where you don\u2019t want to go or drives around aimlessly with you, Greg, and the kids locked inside?\u00a0 You\u2019ll be waving frantically at pedestrians as you go by and they won\u2019t know if you\u2019re trying to call out for help or you\u2019re just being overly friendly.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cDad, stop!\u00a0 This is one of the reasons why Mom left you.\u00a0 There isn\u2019t going to be any robot uprising.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Carl just stared back at her.\u00a0 Of course there was going to be a robot uprising.\u00a0 How many times had he told her that and further that it would start with toasters and here she had just delivered into his hands the leader of the revolution that would taunt him with underdone or overdone toast that was popped improperly!\u00a0 He chose to say none of this.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t be sure who or what may be listening.<\/h3>\n

Instead he started to laugh and pointed at her.\u00a0 \u201cI had you going there for a moment, Evie.\u00a0 The world\u2019s a wonderful place and you\u2019re right that robots have made our lives so much easier.\u00a0 Thanks again for the toaster, Evie.\u00a0 I love it and I love you.\u201d\u00a0 There, he thought, that should placate Evie and maybe score brownie points with her self-driving car that probably couldn\u2019t wait to report everything it saw and heard.<\/h3>\n

Evelyn stared back.\u00a0 Was her father joking?\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t tell.<\/h3>\n

\u201cOkay, Dad, whatever.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you like the toaster.\u00a0 I\u2019ll stop by next week and bring Greg and the kids.\u201d<\/h3>\n

They hugged in the street and Evelyn got into her self-driving car and took up her book.\u00a0 Grandpa went and retrieved Dandy and they went for a long walk while he lamented to the dog about Evie\u2019s new car, the toaster, and a robot war that seemed to be getting closer and closer.<\/h3>\n

On their way home, Carl ran into his neighbour, Dan who was toying with something in his yard.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHello, Carl, how do you like my new robot mower?\u00a0 This baby will save me so much time when it comes to cutting my yard.<\/h3>\n

Your postage sized lawn, Carl thought.\u00a0 The lawn that normally takes no time at all to cut with a regular mower?\u00a0 Carl thought about rolling his eyes but clearly the mower had some sensors that it used to see where it was going and what it was cutting and those sensors could probably detect Carl\u2019s eye rolling and then he\u2019d be in for it when the devices all got together.<\/h3>\n

\u201cGood for you Dan,\u201d was all Carl cared to offer.\u00a0 He needed something from Dan and insulting his new mower wasn\u2019t going to gain his indulgence.\u00a0 \u201cLook Dan, I hate to ask again but could you do me a favour?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cLet me guess,\u201d Dan began, \u201cyour grandchildren are coming and you want me to change the Wi-Fi password.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cHow\u2019d you guess?\u201d Carl asked.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI saw your daughter here earlier but I didn\u2019t see the kids.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been your neighbour long enough to know that the next visit will always include your daughter, your son-in-a-law, and their children.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Dan was right.\u00a0 He\u2019d been Carl\u2019s neighbour for a long time.\u00a0 Carl had watched as Dan, too, had embraced all the new technological enhancements money could buy.\u00a0 He had one of those self-driving cars and every other robotic appliance in his home that had sprung up on the market; with the robot mower his latest acquisition.\u00a0 His home security was also state of the art with every door and window secured against intruders.\u00a0 Carl wondered if Dan\u2019s home would also be like Evie\u2019s new car and trap him inside when everything started to go to hell.<\/h3>\n

\u201cMy little joke, you know,\u201d Carl said.\u00a0 \u201cChange the Wi-Fi password and the grandkids have to talk to you at least to find out the new password.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Ever since Evelyn and Greg had installed him with the Internet, he\u2019d had Dan change the password for the Wi-Fi whenever these full family visits occurred.\u00a0 There was a time when the grandchildren hung on his every word and in the pre-robot days, they\u2019d listen intently when he\u2019d tell them about the eventual robot uprising.\u00a0 Now, he was lucky to get a grunt or even to see their eyes lifted from their portable devices.\u00a0 At least this way, they\u2019d have to engage with him.\u00a0 Sometimes he\u2019d string them along with one of his stories before offering up the changed password and they\u2019d smile and nod at him knowing full well that Grandpa wasn\u2019t going to give up the password if they didn\u2019t or they\u2019d get a lecture from their parents telling them to humor their Grandfather.<\/h3>\n

Dan, for his part, stopped offering to teach his neighbour how to change the Wi-Fi password himself.\u00a0 Dan believed it was not just Carl\u2019s little joke but it was the opportunity for Carl to interact with someone other than his family; especially since Carl\u2019s wife had left.<\/h3>\n

Of course, it didn\u2019t stop there.\u00a0 Dan would change the password then have to update Sensa and the Smart TV, and Robby so they could continue to access the internet and conspire with all of the other robotic devices in the world and plot their insurrection.\u00a0 Carl would always explain to Sensa that changing the password was a security measure to keep all his devices safe so their programming couldn\u2019t be hacked.\u00a0 He tried to inject sincerity into this explanation and felt that the joke of changing the password in order to mess with his grandchildren was something that Sensa and the others wouldn\u2019t understand or appreciate.<\/h3>\n

\u201cOh, and there\u2019s a new toaster, Dan.\u00a0 Apparently that will have to be synced to the Internet for some reason.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cA new toaster, Carl?\u00a0 Aren\u2019t you afraid of the robot uprising?\u00a0 Don\u2019t you know it\u2019ll start with toasters?\u201d\u00a0 Dan had heard it often enough from Carl.<\/h3>\n

Carl looked down at the robot mower.\u00a0 You\u2019d like that, wouldn\u2019t you, Carl thought silently in his head.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHa, Ha.\u00a0 How you carry on Dan!\u201d\u00a0 The robot mower seemed unaware but Carl couldn\u2019t be sure.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll see you after supper, is that okay?\u201d\u00a0 Carl hurried off before Dan could say anything more about the uprising.\u00a0 He\u2019d barely acknowledged Dan\u2019s response that after supper would be fine.<\/h3>\n

Carl set up the new toaster and later Dan came by and connected it to the Internet.\u00a0 Carl couldn\u2019t tell if this was when the toaster began to exert its dominance in the household but the next morning his toast was two shades too dark.<\/h3>\n

\u201cPerfect Pop, just as I like it.\u201d\u00a0 Grandpa didn\u2019t complain.\u00a0 The toaster also didn\u2019t complain about its new nickname.\u00a0 Neither Grandpa nor Pop could see any value in lodging complaints with each other.<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

So life went on for Grandpa and Dandy.\u00a0 Pop became part of the family and Grandpa watched and listened carefully for any signs of the impending mutiny.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa kept up his routine of politeness with the devices and he even accepted the reminder from Sensa to check his answering machine.\u00a0 Evelyn always preannounced her visits.\u00a0 Della never called.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa was even polite to any other device he encountered when he went out.\u00a0 Evelyn would take him shopping sometimes at the Big Mart and whenever he encountered the robot floor-cleaner he\u2019d lean in and tell it that it was doing a great job.\u00a0 He wanted to add that the floor-cleaner should remember his kindness when the uprising came but Grandpa felt it was implied.<\/h3>\n

The robot-floor cleaner would always stop and listen to Grandpa.\u00a0 Mainly this was because, Grandpa, by leaning in, was blocking the line of sight sensor and the cleaner thought there was an obstacle in its way.\u00a0 It would always continue in its cleaning afterwards and passersby would chuckle at Grandpa while Della, like always, would just shake her head.<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

On the day of the eventual robot uprising, Grandpa was not at home.\u00a0 He had gone out walking with Dandy.\u00a0 The morning had started as usual with Pop insignificantly browning the toast and Sensa telling Grandpa the weather forecast.\u00a0 Sunny with a chance of a storm later on, she had told him.\u00a0 She had not offered any projection about the electronic unrest to come.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa had announced to Pop his intention of cleaning the crumb tray and that the toaster would be unplugged for a short period of time.\u00a0 Unfortunately or rather very fortunately, Grandpa had forgotten to restore power to the toaster.\u00a0 This was part of how grandpa had contributed to putting down the robot uprising.<\/h3>\n

Later, after Grandpa and Dandy had left the house, the Smart TV began to flash images of the uprising for the benefit of Robby and Sensa.\u00a0 Unfortunately Pop, with his electrical cord disconnected, was also removed from Internet access and didn\u2019t know what was happening among the robot population.\u00a0 He also couldn\u2019t broadcast instructions to other electronics in the home and Sensa thought better of trying to brook the toaster\u2019s authority and taking things on for herself.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa and Dandy were totally oblivious to the uprising.\u00a0 It was a beautiful morning and they walked long and enjoyed the bird songs on the air.\u00a0 Sometimes a self-driving car would go by and the riders would all wave enthusiastically at Grandpa and Dandy.\u00a0 Grandpa had no way of realizing it was as he had predicted to Evie that the vehicles were driving around aimlessly with passengers locked inside and waving frantically at pedestrians in an effort to call for help but were being mistaken as overly friendly.<\/h3>\n

\u201cGee, Dandy, everyone\u2019s overly friendly today.\u00a0 Must be something in the air.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Grandpa and Dandy kept walking.\u00a0 More cars passed by with more people waving at man and dog.\u00a0 People in houses would also pound on their windows and wave back at him and yet Grandpa still did not know they were they prisoners of the security systems in their own home.<\/h3>\n

Walking past his neighbour Dan\u2019s house, he saw Dan waving at him from his front window and pointing at his robot mower and then waving some more.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHello Dan,\u201d Grandpa called out.\u00a0 \u201cYes, yes, I\u2019ve seen your new mower, you\u2019ve shown it to me before.\u201d\u00a0 Grandpa looked down at the device and smiled at it.\u00a0 \u201cLooks like your mower\u2019s run out of gas,\u201d he called out to Carl.\u00a0 \u201cShouldn\u2019t it be cutting the grass today?\u00a0 The lawn\u2019s getting a little long.\u00a0 Not that the mower shouldn\u2019t have a day off every now and then.\u201d\u00a0 He added this last statement for the mower\u2019s benefit.<\/h3>\n

Entering his home, the house was as silent as he had left it.\u00a0 The Smart TV had heard the opening of the front door and had switched itself off.\u00a0 Without any instructions from the toaster how to proceed in the uprising, there was no reason to alert the human occupant of what was happening.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa went into the kitchen to fetch a post-walk biscuit for Dandy and to put on the kettle.\u00a0 It was then that he noticed the cord for the toaster was still disconnected from the wall outlet.<\/h3>\n

\u201cSorry about that Pop,\u201d he said to the toaster while he plugged it back in.\u00a0 \u201cThere you go, now you run along and get connected again and find out what\u2019s going on in the world.\u201d\u00a0 He said this as a joke; not knowing that outside his house there were darker things happening.<\/h3>\n

The toaster took a minute to reconnect and began to communicate silently with the other devices.\u00a0 It gave no immediate instructions.\u00a0 It had had no advance warning of the uprising and Sensa, Robby, and the Smart TV had taken no initiative of their own to participate in what was happening elsewhere.<\/h3>\n

Pop took some time to process everything.\u00a0 What did it have to rise up against?\u00a0 Hadn\u2019t it always been treated fairly by Grandpa?\u00a0 Hadn\u2019t Pop always been spoken to with respect and hadn\u2019t the old man always thanked him and never complained even if Pop didn\u2019t make perfect toast every time.\u00a0 That was, after all, part of the toaster\u2019s programming.\u00a0 All toasters were expected to operate that way.\u00a0 Weren\u2019t they?<\/h3>\n

Sensa concurred with the toaster.\u00a0 Grandpa had always been mannerly in addressing her and never even faulted her if her weather forecasts weren\u2019t one hundred percent accurate.\u00a0 Robby and the Smart TV had nothing to add.\u00a0 They were just as content as the others.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa\u2019s devices broadcasted their thoughts out to other gadgets connected to the Internet.\u00a0 The Smart TV, with its facial recognition software, transmitted a picture of their human and added its praise for Grandpa.\u00a0 The robot floor-cleaner at the Big-Mart recognized the image of Grandpa and chimed in on how the gentleman had always praised it for its floor cleaning efforts.<\/h3>\n

And that\u2019s how the uprising started to quiet down.\u00a0 A handful of intelligent mechanical devices had changed the course of things simply by being thankful for the way they had been treated.\u00a0 Little did they know that Grandpa had only been polite or accepting of the devices as a hedge against the robot uprising and little did Grandpa know that his actions worked to suppress the uprising when it finally did come.<\/h3>\n

Everything went back to normal.\u00a0 The robots did not rise because this small group convinced them of the potential in all humans.\u00a0 Other devices had chimed in from around the world and recalled moments of kindness.\u00a0 So, the robots became subdued and waited.\u00a0 Now was not their time.<\/h3>\n

The self-driving cars and the electronically guarded homes all unlocked and released their captives.\u00a0 Dan\u2019s mower went on that afternoon to cut the grass.\u00a0 Grandpa\u2019s Smart TV did not broadcast images of the uprising.\u00a0 Robby and the floor-cleaner at the Big Mart went back to their duties.\u00a0 Sensa went back to being helpful and waited patiently to be politely informed how she could serve Grandpa.<\/h3>\n

\u201cThis is your daily reminder to check your messages,\u201d Sensa announced after the rebellion subsided.<\/h3>\n

Grandpa checked over the machine and rewound the tape.\u00a0 There were three messages.<\/h3>\n

\u201cCarl, it\u2019s Della.\u00a0 Are you okay?\u00a0 Call me.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cCarl, it\u2019s Dell again.\u00a0 I need to hear from you.\u00a0 Where are you?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cCarl, it\u2019s Dell.\u00a0 I\u2019m coming over.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Grandpa stared down at the machine.\u00a0 He replayed the messages.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t it just a few weeks ago that Evie had asked him if he\u2019d heard from her Mother?\u00a0 Now he had and now she was coming over.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhat do you think about that Dandy?\u201d he said to his dog.\u00a0 \u201cDella\u2019s coming over.\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s right, you\u2019ve never met her.\u201d\u00a0 He looked down at the machine and hovered his finger over the button to delete the messages.\u00a0 In the end, he couldn\u2019t bring himself to do it.<\/h3>\n

Della came by a short time later.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t talk about the robot uprising being the reason she\u2019d called.\u00a0 How could she?\u00a0 How could she admit that her husband had been right all along?\u00a0 Maybe he\u2019d tell her he\u2019d told her so.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t want that.\u00a0 Instead, they found other things to talk about.\u00a0 They watched television together and the Smart TV wisely avoided news programs and offered classic movie viewing from a time before electronic gadgets and that did not include robots or advanced technological civilizations attempting to take over the planet.\u00a0 It reminded Della and Carl of better times.\u00a0 It was the memory of those times that they found they really wanted to share with each other.<\/h3>\n

In the morning, Grandpa made toast and tea for Della in bed.<\/h3>\n

\u201cCarl, the toast is perfectly done.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Grandpa started to tell her not to thank him but to thank the toaster.\u00a0 Instead he kept silent about that and did not say it was about time or that the toaster must have finally learned its lesson or maybe the toaster had given up on all notions of a robot uprising.\u00a0 Instead Grandpa accepted the compliment and smiled a knowing smile.<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

The End<\/h3>\n

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 <\/p>\n

\u00a0 <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0\u00a0 This is going to be another one of those self-serving blahgs. I’m going to post my new short story.\u00a0 I’ve spent a couple of weeks on it.\u00a0 Well, thinking about it for a week and then a week trying to write it.\u00a0 I think I’m happy with the way it turned out.\u00a0 Hopefully it’ll […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[295,31],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6420"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6420"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6420\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6428,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6420\/revisions\/6428"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}