{"id":6733,"date":"2025-02-14T20:47:31","date_gmt":"2025-02-14T14:47:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=6733"},"modified":"2025-02-14T20:47:31","modified_gmt":"2025-02-14T14:47:31","slug":"the-keys-of-hiram-crenshaw","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/?p=6733","title":{"rendered":"THE KEYS OF HIRAM CRENSHAW"},"content":{"rendered":"

Okay, here I go avoiding writing that blahg to unpack the 2025 False Ducks Video Ramble.\"The<\/a>\u00a0 Well, I got a little sidetracked when an idea for a short story popped into my head.\u00a0 The keys in the picture to the right were turned in at my office the other day.\u00a0 You can see that the words HC Sidney are written on the card inside the red tag.\u00a0 Sidney is the name of the building and street where I work.\u00a0 The HC is a mystery.\u00a0 No one has yet to claim the keys.\u00a0 That was the inspiration for my new story, “The Keys of Harold Crenshaw.”\u00a0 I’ll writing that unpacking blahg later but I’m proud to present my new short story.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The Keys of Hiram Crenshaw<\/strong><\/h3>\n

By<\/h3>\n

Scott Henderson<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole Bronson bent down and picked up the red object half sticking out of the snow next to his car.\u00a0 He was surprised to find that it was a plastic key tag with two keys attached.\u00a0 The tag was the kind that opened so you could slide in a small piece of card with an identifying message.\u00a0 This tag had \u201cH.C.\u201d written inside in black marker.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI wonder who these belong to?\u00a0 Cole said aloud.\u00a0 \u201cH.C.\u201d he murmured to himself as if just saying the initials would unlock their secrets.\u00a0 \u201cI wonder what these unlock?\u201d\u00a0 He didn\u2019t even stop to laugh at his own keys unlocking secrets notion.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole looked around.\u00a0 There was no one else outside.\u00a0 The keys could have come from anywhere.\u00a0 They could have fallen out of someone\u2019s pocket.\u00a0 He thought about his neighbour Jill who had the parking spot next to him.\u00a0 Jill wasn\u2019t an H.C.\u00a0 Still, they could be hers because they were found beside his car and hers was the next spot over on that side.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll have to ask her.\u201d\u00a0 Cole pocketed the keys and headed inside.\u00a0 He glanced back over his shoulder one more time.\u00a0 Nope, no one else outside.\u00a0 The parking lot was empty of tenants.\u00a0 Cars, yes.\u00a0 People no.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It was a fairly large parking lot with the availability to accommodate fifty cars.\u00a0 His apartment building had thirty units inside and there were spots for the thirty apartments in addition to the ones for visitors and the accessible spaces.\u00a0 Still, there were never more than twenty cars in the lot at any given time.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 It had snowed the night before and the plow had come early.\u00a0 It was on mornings like this that Cole wished his building had a parking garage or even underground parking.\u00a0 He\u2019d totally ignored the automated call from Property Management telling him the snow plow was on its way and he was required to move his car.\u00a0 The plow would first clear the empty spots and then tenants could move their vehicles to the plowed sites and then move them back after the plow had finished the rest of the lot.\u00a0 Normally he would have obliged but it was Sunday and Sunday meant sleeping in.\u00a0 He knew later he\u2019d get a notice about his failure to relocate his vehicle because the plow driver always recorded the license plates of people who didn\u2019t comply.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI hate that guy,\u201d Cole said aloud.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t care who knew it and he didn\u2019t care if any anyone heard him.\u00a0 The driver was someone\u2019s brother-in-law.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard it gossiped in the elevator.\u00a0 Nepotism ran rampant around the building.\u00a0 One of the cleaners was a sister of one of the owners and someone\u2019s son cut the grass in the summer.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI think half the dogs in the building are related to each other as well,\u201d Cole stated.\u00a0 He chuckled at that one.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole pulled out his own keys and unlocked the main entrance.\u00a0 He had a thought.\u00a0 He retrieved the key tag and tried one of the keys in the front lock.\u00a0 It fit and turned; unlocking the door.\u00a0 He tried the other.\u00a0 It slid into the lock but would not engage.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cApartment key, maybe,\u201d Cole said.\u00a0 He compared his own keys.\u00a0 They looked very similar.\u00a0 \u201cYep, just like mine, one for the main entrance and one for the apartment door.\u00a0 Mystery solved.\u201d\u00a0 Of course the mystery wasn\u2019t solved.\u00a0 He still didn\u2019t know what apartment the other key unlocked.\u00a0 He still didn\u2019t know who \u201cH.C.\u201d was.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t like he could try the key in every apartment to see which one it unlocked.\u00a0 Cole thought about that for a second and then dismissed it.\u00a0 That might have worked for Cinderella but glass slippers were not the same as keys on a plastic tag.\u00a0 Besides, unlocking someone else\u2019s door would probably get him into a world of trouble.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole pocketed the keys again and started for the stairs.\u00a0 He liked climbing the steps.\u00a0 He liked to avoid the elevator; even if was a good spot for building gossip.\u00a0 He liked the exercise.\u00a0 It gave him time to think.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHillary Clinton, Harry Connick, Hoagy Carmichael, Harry Chapin, Howard Cossell.\u201d As he trod to the third floor, Cole began to recite the famous names he could recall that began with H.C.\u00a0 He\u2019d had a look at the directory in the lobby but no name matched the initials on the tag and some of the listings only had an apartment number associated with the call button.\u00a0 Some people liked their privacy and did not like to have their name listed.\u00a0 \u201cHopalong Cassidy,\u201d he continued.\u00a0 \u201cNo, he\u2019s fictional.\u201d\u00a0 It was just a game but it amused him all the way up.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole stopped at his apartment door and reached into his parka to retrieve his keys.\u00a0 The tag with the mystery keys came out as well, entangled in his own.\u00a0 He looked down at them and then walked down the hall to the next apartment and knocked.\u00a0 Cole\u2019s neighbour Jill answered the door.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cAre these yours?\u201d Cole asked before Jill could say anything.\u00a0 He was always tongue-tied when it came to Jill.\u00a0 Sometimes he called her Julie out of nervousness and once for some odd reason, Jennifer.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhich ones?\u201d Jill questioned back.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole looked down and saw that he was holding up all of the entangled keys.\u00a0 He quickly separated his own and held up the red tag.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cThese ones, er, I found them, uhm, in the parking lot, you know, in the snow next to my car near yours\u2026or, well you know, where you park.\u201d\u00a0 Cole was stammering but Jill got the gist.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh those, no I tossed them there as a gag,\u201d Jill quietly replied.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d Cole asked with his mouth gaping open.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo, not really, Cole.\u00a0 I was just having you on.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never seen them before.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole nervously laughed and then put the keys back in his pocket.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLet me see those again,\u201d Jill continued and extended a waiting hand.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHere,\u201d Cole said, offering up the keys.\u00a0 \u201cThe tag says H.C. but I haven\u2019t got a clue who that is.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cDid you check the directory?\u201d Jill offered.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cNo one with an H.C. listed but that doesn\u2019t mean anything.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s this on the back?\u201d\u00a0 Jill pointed to flipside of the tag.\u00a0 She could see something on the other side of the card that bore the H.C. initials.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole couldn\u2019t believe he hadn\u2019t thought to look on the other side.\u00a0 Clearly there was a bar code with a Universal Product Code number underneath.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cCome on inside, Cole,\u201d Jill motioned to him.\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s look it up.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cUh, okay,\u201d Cole mumbled.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t believe he was being invited in to Jill\u2019s apartment.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t care now about the mystery keys.\u00a0 If nothing else, they\u2019d unlocked the opportunity for him to be invited into his pretty neighbour\u2019s home.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cH.C., H.C.,\u201d Jill said over again a few times.\u00a0 I wonder who it can be?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s not Hopalong Cassidy,\u201d Cole found himself uttering before he gave himself to think.\u00a0 He was just a little unnerved in her presence and being in her apartment.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Jill looked at Cole and laughed.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cGood one Cole.\u00a0 Hilarious Cole.\u00a0 There\u2019s another H.C. for you.\u201d\u00a0 She thought about saying \u2018Handsome Cole\u2019 but she could see that he was nervous enough.\u00a0 \u201cLet me pull out my tablet and I\u2019ll look up the UPC number.\u201d\u00a0 She gestured for Cole to sit down.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole took a seat on a futon and looked around.\u00a0 The apartment was nice.\u00a0 It was organized and clean.\u00a0 There were a few photos on the walls and others scattered around the apartment.\u00a0 None of them featured Jill or Jill with a mystery person that would have told Cole she had a significant other.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Jill caught Cole looking at the photos.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cParents, sister, brother, college friends, and oh, that one there, came with the frame.\u201d\u00a0 Jill really did have a sense of humor.\u00a0 First the joke about deliberately throwing the keys in the snow and now the comment about the photo.\u00a0 Cole stood up and walked over to the aforementioned frame.\u00a0 It featured a dog.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI call him Carnival Barker,\u201d Jill called out.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know why.\u00a0 He just looks like a Carnival Barker.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, I\u2019ll tell him to stay off the furniture if I see him.\u201d\u00a0 Cole was starting to feel more relaxed.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cVery humorous, Cole,\u201d Jill said to him.\u00a0 \u201cHumorous Cole, there\u2019s another.\u00a0 Let\u2019s get that code.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole sat down and waited for Jill to announce the results of her search.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know, Cole, maybe we don\u2019t want to know what the code is for.\u00a0 It might be for some product that\u2019s odd or perverted.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cLike Hemorrhoid Cream?\u201d\u00a0 Cole couldn\u2019t help it.\u00a0 Like listing off celebrities with the H.C.\u00a0 initials, the product idea had popped quickly into his head.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Jill turned toward Cole and began to laugh until the laughing consumed her and she had to lean over and take in short breaths.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cStop. It. Cole.\u00a0 You\u2019re. Making. My. Side. Hurt.\u201d\u00a0 She had pronounced every word through quick breaths and trailing laughter.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Cole would have been proud of himself except he didn\u2019t think his first intimate encounter would end with her laughing at him and clutching her self for control.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Previous interactions between the pair had always been brief.\u00a0 He\u2019d met her outside a few times when they were getting in or exiting their vehicles.\u00a0 They\u2019d swapped pleasantries or complained about the snow on their vehicles when they were valiantly brushing them clear.\u00a0 He\u2019d passed her in the hall or held the door open for her but they hadn\u2019t exchanged much except the aforementioned greetings or occasional grumblings.\u00a0 At some point they\u2019d obviously exchanged names; even if Cole hadn\u2019t always remembered hers correctly.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 After collecting herself, Jill returned to the search.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cOh, here it is!\u201d Jill exclaimed.\u00a0 She handed the tablet over to Cole.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yep, there it was.\u00a0 An order page for the Klassen Click Key Tag available in a range of colours.\u00a0 Definitely not hemorrhoid cream.\u00a0 The UPC was obviously standard on the back of the complimentary slip of paper enclosed in the tag.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWell, there goes that idea,\u201d Cole responded as he passed the tablet back to Jill.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWait Cole, don\u2019t give up so easily.\u00a0 This is a mission.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get these keys back to their rightful owner.\u201d\u00a0 Jill obviously wasn\u2019t discouraged.\u00a0 \u201cWhere did you say you found them again?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI was digging out my car and I uncovered them between your spot and mine.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cWait, you didn\u2019t move your car this morning for the plow?\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you get the automated call?<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYes, I did,\u201d Cole replied, \u201cbut I chose to ignore it.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to get a notice later.\u201d\u00a0 Jill offered up.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know.\u00a0 I hate that guy.\u201d\u00a0 Cole still didn\u2019t care who knew it.<\/h3>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cYou and me both,\u201d Jill chimed.\u00a0 She reached into a drawer in an end table beside the futon.\u00a0 \u201cHere\u2019s mine from last time.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u00a0Jill began to read from it.\u00a0 \u201cThis is a reminder that all tenants must move their vehicle on hearing that the snow plow will be arriving at the building.\u00a0 Failure to do so\u2026blah blah blah.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cI hate that guy,\u201d Cole said again.\u00a0 He glanced at Jill\u2019s copy and saw her license plate and apartment number scribbled across the top.\u00a0 There was no HC in the license number.\u00a0 Another theory shot down.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWait a minute Cole, I have an idea.\u201d\u00a0 Jill grabbed up her tablet again and snapped a picture of the mysterious Klassen tag.\u00a0 Within moments Cole could hear the sound of a printer engaging from across the room.<\/h3>\n

Jill walked over and removed the paper from the tray and then scrawled something across the top of it.\u00a0 She gave it to Cole for his consideration.<\/h3>\n

Cole read from the paper.\u00a0 \u201cAre these your keys?\u00a0 Found near spot 28 in the parking lot.\u00a0 See Jill Martin in apartment 306.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s with the apartment 306?\u201d Cole asked.\u00a0 \u201cI was the one that found them.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cYes, and now I\u2019m holding onto them for you until we find out who these belong to.\u00a0 You and I are in this together.\u201d\u00a0 Cole liked the sound of that.<\/h3>\n

\u201cCan\u2019t we just ask around? We\u2019re bound to eventually find the owner.\u00a0 Why invite them to your apartment?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cIt worked on you Cole.\u00a0 Look on this as a form of social interaction\u2026a chance at human contact.\u00a0 You try your way and I\u2019ll try mine and we\u2019ll see who gets the best results.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Jill was right.\u00a0 The keys had worked to unlock an interaction between the pair of them.\u00a0 He was hoping to build on that.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhere are you going to hang your makeshift poster?\u201d Cole thought to ask.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI was thinking about that bulletin board in the laundry room,\u201d she answered.<\/h3>\n

Cole thought about it.\u00a0 It seemed like a logical place.\u00a0 There was lots of space on there.\u00a0 He\u2019d only ever seen one notice and that was from someone who was offering their services as a dog-walker.\u00a0 When Cole saw that, he was sure it was probably another relative of the property management group.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHey, while you\u2019re at it, call up that dog-walker and see if they want to take on Carnival Barker as a client.\u201d Cole jibed.<\/h3>\n

Jill began to laugh again; not as hard as she had at the hemorrhoid cream comment but it wasn\u2019t forced and Cole accepted that he was making inroads with her.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll hold onto the keys,\u201d Jill began, after composing herself.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019ll put up the poster and you do your asking around.\u00a0 I\u2019ll check back with you in a couple of days and we\u2019ll compare notes.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Cole went home and thought about his encounter with Jill.\u00a0 Five minutes later there was a knock on the door.\u00a0 His thoughts were still of Jill as he expectantly opened the door.\u00a0 It was a representative of the property management group there to hand him a notice about not moving his car.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI hate that guy!\u201d Cole exclaimed after he\u2019d closed his door and was sure the management flunky was out of earshot.<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

Two days went by and Cole heard nothing from Jill.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t pass her in the building and she made no effort to reach out to him.\u00a0 Sometimes her car was in the lot and sometimes it wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 Cole didn\u2019t want to come across as pushy so he waited for her to come to him.<\/h3>\n

On the third day it snowed again.\u00a0 Cole made sure he responded to the call and dutifully moved his vehicle.\u00a0 He had hoped to see Jill but she\u2019d ignored her obligation and Cole was a little angry when he saw the plow driver jotting down her license plate.<\/h3>\n

That evening there was a loud and rapid knock on his door.\u00a0 Cole didn\u2019t immediately think of Jill.\u00a0 He thought of the plow driver and that maybe Cole was getting an erroneous notice or that they were mistakenly delivering Jill\u2019s notice to him.<\/h3>\n

Cole opened the door to find Jill who quickly barged past him waving a piece of paper.<\/h3>\n

\u201cLook at this Cole!\u00a0 Can you believe it?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cLet me guess, you got another notice.\u00a0 You should have knocked on my door, I would have moved your car for you.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cNot now, Cole.\u00a0 Look at this!\u201d Jill repeated.<\/h3>\n

Cole grabbed at the offered paper.\u00a0 It was the poster with the photo of the key tag with attached keys.\u00a0 Underneath, in a scrawling hand was written in capital letters, THOSE ARE THE KEYS OF HIRAM CRENSHAW.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Hiram Crenshaw?\u201d was all Cole could think to ask.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know but it\u2019s something to go on.\u201d Jill responded.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhat if it\u2019s some kind of gag?\u00a0 I\u2019ve never heard of Hiram Crenshaw.\u00a0 Why did someone write that on there instead of coming up to your apartment to tell you?\u201d\u00a0 Cole thought they were all valid points.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI told you, it\u2019s about social interaction.\u00a0 People are afraid anymore.\u00a0 It\u2019s easier to leave an anonymous note than to reach out to someone.\u00a0 That reminds me, how did you make out with your asking around?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cAbout the same.\u00a0 People scurry by you on their way out or on their way in.\u00a0 Everyone rushes out of their car and into the building.\u00a0 No one stops to chat.\u00a0 A few said they saw the poster but didn\u2019t recognize the keys.\u00a0 Now I guess I\u2019ll have to ask people if they know Hiram Crenshaw.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cToo slow,\u201d Jill interjected.\u00a0 \u201cWe need something that brings people together.\u00a0 We need to get them out of their apartments.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cJust wait until the next snow fall, and they\u2019re all outside relocating their SUVs.\u201d\u00a0 Cole had observed on more than one occasional that there were way too many SUVs in the parking lot.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t remind me!\u00a0 I got my second notice slipped under my door,\u201d Jill complained.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI hate that guy!\u201d Cole was getting repetitive in his thoughts about the snow plow driver.\u00a0 \u201cWe should host a party for everyone in the building to celebrate their hatred of that guy.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cHey, that\u2019s not a bad idea,\u201d Jill enthused.\u00a0 \u201cWe should host a party for people in the building.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cNo thanks,\u201d Cole quickly replied.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know about you but I don\u2019t want a bunch of strangers traipsing through my apartment.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Jill looked around at Cole\u2019s apartment.\u00a0 It already looked like a bunch of strangers had marched through there.\u00a0 There were newspapers on Cole\u2019s coffee table, his dining table, and his counters.\u00a0 The sink wasn\u2019t full but there were a few unwashed dishes.\u00a0 Maybe Cole would have tidied up if he\u2019d known she was stopping by.<\/h3>\n

\u201cMe neither, I was thinking about the Common Room,\u201d Jill offered.<\/h3>\n

Cole didn\u2019t think about the Common Room.\u00a0 In the three years he\u2019d lived there, he\u2019d never seen it opened.\u00a0 He\u2019d tried the lock a couple of times but it refused him entry.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t even know who had a key for the room.<\/h3>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s always locked,\u201d Cole reminder her.<\/h3>\n

\u201cLeave that to me.\u00a0 Let\u2019s do what we did before.\u00a0 I\u2019ll post a notice in the laundry room and you spread the word when you see other tenants.\u00a0 Hiram Crenshaw\u2019s out there somewhere.\u201d\u00a0 Jill was rubbing her hands together as she spoke.\u00a0 She was digging in deep into this mystery.<\/h3>\n

Jill stuck around for a little while longer and she and Cole began to plan the gathering.<\/h3>\n

The following weekend the common room was opened and Jill and Cole began to decorate and lay out snacks.\u00a0 They split the cost.\u00a0 Jill kept going on about social interaction and human contact until Cole just had to tune her out.\u00a0 He did what she asked and they would have to just see what resulted from the fruits of their labours.<\/h3>\n

About a dozen people turned out in addition to Jill and Cole.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t a Hiram Crenshaw in the lot nor did anyone claim the keys or admit to penning the note about Hiram on Jill\u2019s original poster.\u00a0 Throughout the evening, Jill walked around with the keys suspended from a rainbow lanyard she hung about her neck.\u00a0 No one commented on them.<\/h3>\n

The evening wasn\u2019t an entire loss.\u00a0 They learned more about some of the other tenants.<\/h3>\n

There was Maragret, an elderly retired schoolteacher who gave piano lessons in her spare time.<\/h3>\n

Priya and Harmish were a young couple on the first floor who were expecting a baby in the spring.<\/h3>\n

Then there was Gary and Derek, a couple of accountants or an accountants couple.\u00a0 They had been the only ones who had noted Jill\u2019s rainbow lanyard.\u00a0 They did not inquire about the keys.<\/h3>\n

Ted was a bartender and starving artist.\u00a0 He made Cole uncomfortable when it seemed he was trying to monopolize Jill\u2019s time.<\/h3>\n

\u201cNot too shabby,\u201d Cole volunteered to Jill as he began to clear up after the last of the party stragglers had made their way to the elevator.\u00a0 \u201cStill, no Hiram Crenshaw and we\u2019re still stuck with his keys.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cNever mind about that,\u201d Jill countered.\u00a0 \u201cThere are still about half as many tenants we haven\u2019t reached.\u00a0 Some of those who came tonight gave me ideas about other things they\u2019d like to see happen in here.\u00a0 We\u2019re not licked yet.\u00a0 Give it some time.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Cole agreed to let Jill lead on this one.\u00a0 And she did.<\/h3>\n

Soon there were more events with even more participants.\u00a0 Jill took some initiative and others followed.\u00a0 Their first initial gathering led to others and then to game nights and movie nights and sporting events.\u00a0 More than half of the building turned out for the hockey playoffs.\u00a0 Jill had contacted the owners and told them what was happening in the building and asked for the donation of a large screen television.\u00a0 The owners obliged and threw in a sports package.\u00a0 On the final night of the playoffs even the owners stopped in to watch.\u00a0 They were amazed at how the building came together.<\/h3>\n

Everyone began to talk to each other more.\u00a0 People would stop and chat in the halls, or on the stairs, or in the elevators.\u00a0 Gone was the gossiping\u2026soon replaced by genuine inquiries about everyone else\u2019s lives.<\/h3>\n

Gary and Derek hosted an income tax session.\u00a0 Ted gave a private showing of some of his art.\u00a0 It bolstered him to have an even larger screening at a local art gallery.<\/h3>\n

Dog owners had play dates and soon were seen walking their canines outside. \u00a0The dogs loved bounding through the snow.<\/h3>\n

Other tenants took to knocking on the doors of other apartments when they noticed cars not being moved after a snowfall.\u00a0 Some even moved cars for others.<\/h3>\n

In the spring, there was a gathering to build raised community garden boxes and to begin the planting of seedlings.\u00a0 The owners were more than generous with donations to these endeavours.<\/h3>\n

At the end of April, Priya gave birth to a baby girl.\u00a0 There was an improvised baby shower in the common room.<\/h3>\n

In June, Margaret passed away and everyone mourned.\u00a0 There was a celebration of life held in the building and everyone came out.\u00a0 The owners installed a plaque to her in the lobby.<\/h3>\n

Birthdays and anniversaries were not forgotten either and it seemed like every week there was some event that brought most everyone out.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI wonder what ever happened to Hiram Crenshaw?\u201d Cole thought to ask one night as he and Jill were tidying after a potluck she had organized.\u00a0 Cole had managed a tasty dip that he had assembled himself with the help of an internet recipe.\u00a0 It had been months since their first party in the common room and Jill still wore the lanyard with the mystery keys.\u00a0 The building had come together and, with all the gatherings, Cole had stopped thinking about the keys and the mysterious Hiram Crenshaw.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDoes it matter?\u201d Jill asked.\u00a0 \u201cI think he\u2019s served his purposed.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d Cole queried.<\/h3>\n

\u201cThe keys of Hiram Crenshaw brought everyone in this building together.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cI think you did that,\u201d Cole said.<\/h3>\n

\u201cWith your help,\u201d Jill added.<\/h3>\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019re just going to keep wearing the keys around your neck as an homage to everything that\u2019s happened?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cThat, and as a reminder of the success of a grand experiment.\u201d\u00a0 Jill smiled and Cole could sense there was as much behind that smile as there was behind her statement.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t get it,\u201d was all Cole could think to say.<\/h3>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s simple,\u201d Jill began, \u201clet me show you.\u201d<\/h3>\n

Jill hustled Cole out of the common room, closed the door, removed the keys from around her neck and inserted one in the lock and turned it.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI still don\u2019t get it,\u201d Cole said.\u00a0 \u201cYou mean you discovered that one of the keys unlocked the common room and you didn\u2019t tell me?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cListen Cole, remember when you first found the keys and you brought them to me?\u00a0 What did I say?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cYou mean the bit about the dog photo coming with the frame?\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cNo, not that part,\u201d she replied.\u00a0 \u201cBefore that.\u00a0 You said you had found the keys in the snow between your car and mine.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cI remember,\u201d Cole interrupted.\u00a0 \u201cAnd you said you\u2019d tossed them there as a gag.\u00a0 You don\u2019t mean this whole time you\u2019ve been having me on?\u201d<\/h3>\n

Jill reached out and hooked her arm in his and started marching him toward the elevator.<\/h3>\n

\u201cExcept it wasn\u2019t a gag.\u00a0 It was an experiment,\u201d Jill continued.\u00a0 I\u2019ve lived here just as long as you have and I was getting tired of not knowing my neighbours.\u00a0 You and I had only exchanged a few words before that and now look at us.\u00a0 We\u2019re practically inseparable.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cAnd what about this experiment of yours?\u00a0 What about the H.C.?\u00a0 What about the keys of Hiram Crenshaw?\u201d\u00a0 As they stood waiting for the elevator, Cole had a number of unanswered questions running through his brain.<\/h3>\n

\u201cRemember what else I told you that first night?\u00a0 Human Contact.\u00a0 That was the experiment.\u00a0 I\u2019d contacted Property Management about using the common room and they let me have a key to it.\u00a0 They said they didn\u2019t think anyone else was going to use it.\u00a0 I was determined to prove them wrong.\u00a0 Dropping the keys in the snow was the first step in the experiment.\u00a0 One key was for the common room and the other is my spare main entrance key.\u00a0 I found the key tag in an old drawer after I moved in.\u00a0 I had no use for it then so I held onto it.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad I did.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cAnd the H.C.?\u201d Cole felt he knew the answer but he had to ask.<\/h3>\n

\u201cHuman Contact.\u00a0 The grand experiment.\u00a0 Look what you and I have done for this building.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cAnd Hiram Crenshaw?\u201d One final unanswered question.<\/h3>\n

\u201cI scrawled that onto the poster.\u00a0 I tried to disguise my handwriting.\u00a0 I figured that would draw you in more.\u00a0 You wanted to know the owner of the keys and I provided you with one.\u00a0 Those are the keys of Hiram Crenshaw.\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u201cWell, it worked.\u00a0 You roped me in.\u00a0 I\u2019m not mad.\u00a0 I\u2019m just surprised.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad I could help out.\u201d\u00a0 Cole was pleased with himself.<\/h3>\n

They rode the elevator together to the third floor and they continued to talk about Hiram Crenshaw and the grand experiment.\u00a0 They stopped when they reached Cole\u2019s door.<\/h3>\n

\u201cDo you want to come in for a bit?\u201d Cole asked with hope in his heart.\u00a0 He wanted to test her notion of being inseparable. \u00a0He\u2019d been keeping his apartment tidy ever since that first time she\u2019d dropped over. \u00a0Another success chalked up to the keys.<\/h3>\n

\u201cNot tonight Cole,\u201d she reluctantly replied.\u00a0 \u201cGive me time.\u00a0 You and I are a grand experiment, too.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in other long-term relationships before and I\u2019m not ready to commit to another one.\u00a0 Besides, I\u2019d have to have a picture of you for when you\u2019re not around and the only frame I have available is the one of my dog.\u00a0 I\u2019m just not sure I\u2019m ready to do that to Carnival Barker.<\/h3>\n

<\/h3>\n

The End<\/h3>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay, here I go avoiding writing that blahg to unpack the 2025 False Ducks Video Ramble.\u00a0 Well, I got a little sidetracked when an idea for a short story popped into my head.\u00a0 The keys in the picture to the right were turned in at my office the other day.\u00a0 You can see that the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[4,3,309],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6733"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6733"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6733\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6737,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6733\/revisions\/6737"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/falseducks.com\/theblahg\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}