The False Ducks Blahg

    What a busy January this has been!  I recorded this Video Ramble nine days ago and I haven’t even had a chance to post it.  Since then the temperature has dropped even colder and we had a wicked snow storm last week.  I had a Covid scare last week and was home for a couple of days waiting on the results of a couple of rapid tests.  Both were negative but then our furnace conked out again on Friday night and again Saturday afternoon.  This is the third time in the past two weeks.  Let’s hope they have fixed the problem this time.  My Father used to do this for a living but I’m not the son who inherited any of that knowledge.  Speaking of my Father, he passed away on January 19th, 2019.  On January 20th of this year, I remembered the anniversary of his passing.  I think that’s okay because I really don’t want remember his passing but rather his life.  Love you Dad! 

   Have a look at the 2022 Ramble video and I’ll highlight some things below.

  

The Cool and Lam series are the following books written by Erle Stanley Gardner as A. A. Fair.  The series consists of the following 29 books (now 30, with the discovery of an unpublished work in 2016).  I have read 1-9 in the following list plus number 30 as it was written to be the second book in the series but was left unpublished until 2016.  So, I’ve read exactly one third of the books in the series.  This is from the Cool and Lam Wikipedia page:

1. The Bigger They Come (1939)
   Donald Lam is hired by Bertha. His first assignment is to serve a subpoena on a man that nobody can find. This first entry in the series turned on a real loophole in the extradition laws of the State of Arizona which made it possible, under certain conditions, to commit a murder without being punished provided one remained in Arizona. After its publication, a public outcry caused the Arizona Legislature to convene in special session to plug the loophole.  Gardner had used this device earlier in his ‘Ed Jenkins’ stories, locating the loophole in California law (this time, fictitiously) so that Jenkins (though a known crook) could operate in California without being extradited for crimes in other states^.  The Cool and Lam stories were written under the pen name “A.A. Fair”, and Gardner’s authorship was not revealed till the 1940s.
2. Turn on the Heat (1940)
   William Morrow and Company, January 1940
   Dr. “Smith” is looking for his wife who left him 20 years before. It was made into a 1958 TV pilot for an unproduced show called Cool and Lam.
3. Gold Comes in Bricks (1940)
   William Morrow and Company, September 1940
   A blackmailing gambler, a corrupt lawyer, and an expert in salting gold mines, all are grist to Donald’s mill.
4. Spill the Jackpot! (1941)
   William Morrow and Company, March 1941
   Set in Las Vegas. A runaway bride and a slot machine-fixing ring seem to have no connection. Bertha loses the weight, and falls in love! But…
5. Double or Quits (1941)
   William Morrow and Company, December 1941
   Detectionary: “First—the missing jewelry. Second—the client found dead in his garage, and Cool and Lam are trying to get from an insurance company double indemnity for the lovely widow.” Bertha begins fishing.
6. Owls Don’t Blink (1942)
   William Morrow and Company, June 1942
   Donald has two intertwining cases: finding a lost girl and bringing to justice a murderer. Set in the French Quarter of New Orleans. America has entered the war, and Bertha thinks she has helped gain Donald’s immunity from the draft.
7. Bats Fly at Dusk (1942)
   William Morrow and Company, September 1942
   Donald has calmly volunteered for the Navy to fight the Japanese, and Bertha fumes. She works on a case involving a blind man and a pet bat, with help from Donald via telegram. Donald’s —Police Detective Frank Sellers—is introduced. Bertha gets in over her head and quits; Donald flies down on a military pass, solves it, and flies back. Bertha only finds out later.
8. Cats Prowl at Night (1943)
   William Morrow and Company, August 1943
   Bertha must locate a client’s missing wife, who controls all his money. No signs of Lam are seen at all, though he is heard of. She manages somehow, but almost fails. Frank proposes to her.
9. Give ’em the Ax (1944)
   William Morrow and Company, September 1944
   Donald returns, and takes control of the agency. The case is of a wife cheated with car insurance and blackmail.
10. Crows Can’t Count (1946)
    William Morrow and Company, April 1946
    A case involving both stolen and smuggled emeralds, the latter half of which is set in the nation of Colombia.
11. Fools Die on Friday (1947)
    William Morrow and Company, September 1947
    Donald Lam tries to put “psychological handcuffs” on a potential poisoner, but things do not work out the way he planned. “Fools Die on Friday is about the best of the series since the first two. Perhaps since the very first.
12. Bedrooms Have Windows (1949)
    William Morrow and Company, January 1949
    Case involving “a pocket edition “, in which Donald himself is suspected by the police of a serious crime. Sleazy nightspots, dubious photographs, a stay at an auto court goes wrong—could there be blackmail? More spice than usual. Gardner originally wrote this series under a pen name because he wondered if some of the plot points he intended to use with Cool and Lam would be bad for his image. However, laxer standards in the 1940s and on made him decide to admit writing the series.
13. Top of the Heap (1952)
    William Morrow and Company, February 1952
    Previously, Bertha has complained that Donald had been getting the agency in over its head lately. Donald then promptly shows the agency was used as a cat’s paw to prove a phony alibi, in a case involving gangsters, gambling houses, Point shaving, a former stripper, a money laundering scam, and phantom gold mines. Bertha is mad enough to try and dissolve the partnership. Available in the Hard Case Crime series.
14. Some Women Won’t Wait (1953)
    William Morrow and Company, September 1953
    The question is: did Donald’s beautiful young client poison her rich and decrepit husband, or didn’t she? Set in Hawaii. Bertha tries to dance the hula.
15. Beware the Curves (1956)
    William Morrow and Company, November 1956
    Suspect in the murder is trying to figure out if it is safe for him to return to his beloved six years later. The victim was her husband who had sent the suspect to die in Amazonia to marry her.
16. You Can Die Laughing (1957)
    William Morrow and Company, March 1957
    Donald clashes with a client, with whom he has a written contract to locate a certain woman. He thinks the client is lying to him, but takes the case.
17. Some Slips Don’t Show (1957)
    William Morrow and Company, October 1957
    Set in San Francisco and environs. Practically everyone ends up on a plane at one point or another, so almost anyone could have caused that guy to be found dead in his motel room. Donald knows it wasn’t him. The worry is: do the police know that? Fancy footwork with fake keys and real claim checks could help.
18. The Count of Nine (1958)
    William Morrow and Company, June 1958
    A rich dilettante “Explorer” finds his poisonous blow gun he had brought back from the Amazon used for a murder. Or so it seems … This one is notable for two things: First, Gardner re-uses a favorite trick from his Perry Mason series; juggling duplicate bits of evidence. Instead of guns or bullets, Lam has a more interesting set of twin jade Buddhas with a ruby in the forehead. It will pay the reader to watch closely who has which, and when, and why. Secondly, the key plot point has a resemblance to G. K. Chesterton’s Father Brown story, The Arrow of Heaven. This may be unintentional, but arguably, Gardner has come up with a more imaginative use of the concept.
19. Pass the Gravy (1959)
    William Morrow and Company, February 1959
    Stacked blondes, hitch hikers and trips by several people to Reno to gamble are incidental to the two main points. 1. What are the legal issues surrounding the exact way the assets of a spendthrift trust are to be distributed? 2. And what are the exact legal circumstances surrounding the death of a man with a double indemnity policy on his life? If he is dead.
20. Kept Women Can’t Quit (1960)
    William Morrow and Company, September 1960
    An armored car is robbed while one of the two guards are inside having donuts and coffee and ogling the waitresses; and when Police Detective Sgt. Frank Sellers catches one of the robbers, he is accused of pocketing the loot for himself. Naturally, he puts the pressure on Donald to solve the case for him, gratis, and get him off the hook. Much money floats about – in fact, a little too much. Whose? (At this time, thousand-dollar bills were still in fairly wide circulation, making it possible to use only a little space to hide fairly large sums.
    
21. Bachelors Get Lonely (1961)
    William Morrow and Company, March 1961
    Industrial espionage, a Peeping Tom, little is what it seems. More than one woman falls for Lam in the course of this investigation, due to his habit of playing square and treating them like human beings. Sgt. Sellers is a little dense at first, taking Lam for the Peeping Tom. The investigation moves to Arizona at one point.
22. Shills Can’t Cash Chips (1961)
    William Morrow and Company, November 1961
    Bertha lands a nice, respectable insurance adjustment claim, and hands it to Donald. Donald uncovers assorted ulterior motives, pretends to be an ex-con, hot-wires his own car to impress a gorgeous witness and gets leaned on by a gangster. Then one of the parties involved ends up dead.
23. Try Anything Once (1962)
    William Morrow and Company, April 1962
    A worried heel of a husband is hand-wringingly anxious to keep his late night visit to a motel with a cocktail hostess quiet. Unfortunately for him, the deputy D.A. in a hot murder trial was found dead in the motel pool the same evening. The resulting investigation will expose the husband. Donald smells a rat lurking within this story, but finally accepts the fat fee offered to keep Bertha happy. The attempt to protect the client has unexpected side effects, including several women removing their garments for one reason or other, a horrifically false accusation against the straight-shooting Donald and the exciting courtroom climax he engineers in the above-mentioned trial.
24. Fish or Cut Bait (1963)
    William Morrow and Company, April 1963
    When Cool and Lam are hired for day-and-night coverage of a harassed woman, a tortuous tale involving a high-class ‘escort service’ unfolds. Donald is dismissed from the case, but inserts himself back in self-defence after the madam comes to an untimely end. He must convince the police it wasn’t him.
25. Up for Grabs (1964)
    William Morrow and Company, March 1964
    Insurance again, this time a company that wants to set up an ongoing project to expose phony whiplash claims. Big ongoing retainer, big fees for each claim – Bertha’s eyes glitter at all the legit dollars up for grabs. Donald is packed off to a dude ranch in Arizona to investigate the plaintiff in the first claim, with stern instructions not to stir this one up. It’s not his fault someone’s wife ends up dead in the Sierras, or that Sgt. Sellers is so annoyed at his ‘amateur’ interference that he throws away a key piece of evidence at the scene of the death.
26. Cut Thin to Win (1965)
    William Morrow and Company, April 1965
    Gardner has Lam himself review the case – from the back of the 1966 Pocket Books edition. Bertha has her doubts about taking a certain case, “…but I talked her into it when our client laid twelve one-hundred dollar bills on his desk. ‘Fry me for an oyster’, Bertha said. ‘It’s your baby, and you can change the diapers’. Less than a week later, Sgt. Frank Sellers announced he was going to take away my license, Bertha Cool announced that our partnership was dissolved and my secretary was crying on my shoulder. ‘Donald, please – please be careful’. ‘It’s too late to be careful now’ I told her. ‘I’m dealing either with a crooked lawyer, a jealous boyfriend, a scheming daughter, one hell of a wealthy father or a combination of any number of them. When you go up against a combination of that sort, you can’t be careful'”.
27. Widows Wear Weeds (1966)
    William Morrow and Company, May 1966
    Blackmail was a dirty business, and Donald Lam liked to stay clear of it. But for his partner, Bertha Cool, no business was too dirty to handle at the right price. And the price for this job was certainly right. What was wrong, though, was a payoff for pictures that weren’t worth a dime, a free dinner that cost the blackmailer his life, and more than a couple of double-crosses that framed Donald Lam quite neatly for a charge of murder.
28. Traps Need Fresh Bait (1967)
    William Morrow and Company, March 1967
    Someone is advertising for a witness to an auto accident in such a way as to seem to be suborning perjury. Also, an earlier claim was settled with evidence obtained in this way. The client wants Cool and Lam to find out what is back of it all. Gardner kept up with the law, and knew of the implications of the recent Miranda Rights decision of the Supreme Court for gathering evidence. He believed he had found a loophole allowing evidence improperly gathered under the new rules to be admissible, if obtained investigating another incident, such as a private detective searching a flat without permission. When Donald introduces the loophole, it brightens up Sgt. Sellers’ day no end.
29. All Grass isn’t Green (1970)
    William Morrow and Company, March 1970
    Dope smuggling and a witness who is both more, and less, than he seems. It all starts when a client wants to find a missing writer – just to talk to him. A little digging (with descriptions of tracing techniques) shows his girlfriend has vanished too, and the trail goes south, to the Mexican border. Crossing the trail, going north, is a shipment of cannabis. Unsurprisingly for this business, someone ends up dead and the whole thing lands in court. Sorting out who did what and why taxes even Donald Lam’s talents to the limit. Lam shows his considerable ability in courtroom manoeuvring, which reminds the reader that he was a lawyer once.
30. The Knife Slipped (1939)
    Hard Case Crime, December 2016
    Originally written to be the second book in the Cool and Lam series but rejected by Gardner’s publisher, The Knife Slipped was found among Gardner’s papers and published for the first time in 2016. Assigned to prove a philandering husband’s infidelity, Donald Lam uncovers a scheme to enable a certain type of municipal corruption. As well as a dead body.

 

   I won’t talk about the Weepies in this blahg.  I’m saving that.  I do mention Dottie Reid who will also be the focus of an upcoming blahg but here’s a teaser of her singing with Muggsy Spanier and his orchestra on “More Than You Know”: 

 

   In my previous blahg, 2021 – WHAT DID I ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR?, I posted about attending the Transformers convention in December in Mississauga.  I was lucky enough to be selected for the annual script reading when I auditioned for the character of Tripredacus even though I didn’t know who  that was.  Later research from the Transformers Wiki for Tripredacus, https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Tripredacus, explains that he’s a character from Transformers Beast Wars.  Here’s their explanation: 

Tripredacus is a slimy “Battle Master” who prefers to emerge from underground to attack Maximal fortresses in the dead of night, tenaciously crushing all before him, spreading plague-like destruction wherever he goes. The weapons of his composite members form a slashing mega-missile launcher that he uses to tear his way into battle.

Tripredacus is composed of the three-member Tripredacus Council:

• Ram Horn
• Sea Clamp
• Cicadacon

 Abbie had recorded the audio of the script reading and I finally got it from her last week and here’s the reading: 

  

  That’s about it for unpacking the 2022 Ramble.  It’s still cold but I’m still going strong.  Enjoy the day!  Enjoy your life!  Live, love, and be happy!

Tags: False Ducks, Scott Henderson, Scott Henderson. False Ducks, Transformers, Tripredacus

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