The False Ducks Blahg

     This is going to be one of those political blahgs that we all love so much.   It’s not often that I get political or even bring politics into these blahgs.  In fact, the last time I wrote a political blahg was back in 2018 when I penned “I HATES POLLY TICS!” & the follow-up THE FALSE DUCKS VIDEO BLAHG #2: WE WILL NOT BE VOTING CONSERVATIVE!  In both of those blahgs I talked about my yellow sign, shown at right, and all the reasons why I would not be voting Conservative in the 2014 election.  I thought it was time to dust off the sign and to give it more prominence than that old picture of me (even though I was having a really good hair day in that photo. 

     I didn’t go into all the forewarning about this blahg other than to say it was going to be political.  I need to qualify this blahg by adding that this is specifically going to be about Canadian politics; more specifically Ontario politics.  Some of my readers, if I have any, might well ask why I haven’t even commented on the American political situation.  Okay, let me rectify that.  Donald Trump, in my opinion, is a Jack-Ass.  Take that how you want.  It’s odd though that the symbol for the Democratic party is a donkey but the jack-ass is in the Republican party.  The Republican mascot is an elephant which has always symbolized a long memory but I think many people would like to quickly forget the current President of the United States. 

     The situation in Ontario is that we are currently governed by a Liberal party, under Premier Kathleen Wynne, who has lost the confidence of the people of this Province.  I spoke favorably of Kathleen in my blahg “I HATES POLLY TICS!” because she had inherited a bad situation from the previous Premier Dalton McGuinty and was trying to set the Province back on track.  Has she done that?  Most would say no but everyone will get their chance to decide by either voting her out or voting her back in when the Election comes in June.  There are of course some other political parties in Ontario, the New Democratic Party headed by Andrea Horwath and the Progressive Conservative Party with newly installed leader, as of this past Saturday, Doug Ford.  Forgive me if I don’t give a nod to other parties that always pull candidates out of the wood-works such as the Green Party, the Communist Party, Ontario Libertarian Party, and other sundry parties all the way up to the All Night Party (not a real party but if you want to be a candidate then send me $10 and you’re in) who all don’t have a snowball’s chance of getting elected.  My hat’s off however to anyone who runs as Independent because either no one wants you or you believe in the old adage that you wouldn’t want to be a member of a party that would have you as a member.  Again my hat’s off to you and to Groucho Marx who coined that adage. 

     Now we get to the crux of the matter and how funny things have happened leading up to the election in June.  It all has to do with the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario.  Let me give a quick but detailed update.  Sorry but this won’t be one of those 25 words or less jobs unless you want me just to write about what I think of the Conservatives and that could be summed up in one word but then I promised not to use those types of words in one of my blahgs.  Let me quote from my previous blahg:

The Conservative party, under Mike Harris ruled from 1995 to 2003.  It was a dismal time and Mike Harris jumped ship in 2002 and left his finance minister Ernie Eves to rule as Premier for the final year.  The Conservatives ran on a ‘Common Sense Revolution’ platform and it was anything but common sense.  They slashed and burned many programs and robbed from the poor to give to the rich.  They slashed social assistance rates by 21.8% figuring that the poor were basically lazy leeches who didn’t want to work.  They even came up with some crazy food menu that they thought the poor could live on.  This crazy menu centered around discounted cans of tuna.  Meanwhile, the Premier and his party ate considerably well on the public dime. 

The Conservative party also labelled most unions and concerned individuals as special interest groups and began to attack them.  Teachers and nurses stood up for what was right and the Conservatives soon found themselves losers in the 2003 provincial election.  Never again, the bulk of the province said.  We didn’t want these people breaking up our province and attacking the poorest of our citizens.  That’s when the Liberals under Premier Dalton McGuinty took over.  It looked like things would change for the better.  They did for a while. 

And that’s almost how we got to the present.  Almost. 

     It is true that the Conservatives were voted out of power in 2003 but they always made a stab at re-election but always with a different face.  John Tory was installed as new leader of the Conservatives in 2004 but lost out to Liberal Leader Dalton McGuinty in the 2007 Ontario election.  I think the memory and stink of the Conservatives under Mike Harris and Ernie Eves was still resonating with Ontarians and they didn’t want any part of the Conservatives.  Tory lost his own seat in a by-election in 2009 and then resigned as Conservative Party Leader.  He would later run for the Mayor of Toronto in 2014 and be successful in capturing that top spot.  Let’s stick a pin in that topic because we’re going to come back to the 2014 Toronto Mayoral election.     

     Jump to the new leader, Tim Hudak.  After Tory was out in 2009, Hudak was in.  He led the Conservatives through two Ontario elections.  In 2011 he lost out to the Liberals under Dalton McGuinty and then lost again but big time in 2014 to the Liberals again but this time under Kathleen Wynne.  Here’s what I said last time about Hudak: 

Unfortunately, Tim Hudak, the leader of the Ontario Conservatives, has gone out of his way to block everything Wynne has tried to accomplish.  He even comes out to say he will not support any budget she brings forward…even before the budget is brought forward.  His party is actually called the Progressive Conservative Party.  Non co-operation and taking a negative stance before things are announced is considered Progressive?  Maybe now you will understand the purpose of pulling out my old yellow sign. 

     Let me be clear that Tim Hudak looks like a weasel and talks like a weasel.  What’s the analogy here, “IF IT LOOKS LIKE A WEASEL AND IT TALKS LIKE A WEASEL, IT MUST BE A WEASEL.”  That’s not an insult, that’s a fact.  This man wants so badly to be Premier and he has even trucked out some of that old Common Sense Revolution clap trap…The last time he ran, he wouldn’t promise not to take a possible cut in social assistance payments off the table.  His new platform even talks about slashing government programs and trimming government ministries.  This is the same thing that Mike Harris did when he was Premier.  Let’s not go down that road again.  Just say no to the Conservatives! 

You can see I was a little worked up about this guy.  It was his election to lose and he did.  After all, you cannot run on a platform of pledging to cut 100,000 public service jobs and expect that people will be happy about that.  They weren’t and he lost and we’re moving on. 

     Next comes the lead up to the circus.  Hudak loses the 2014 election and he resigns.  A guy named Jim Wilson is appointed Interim Leader and there’s nothing to say about him.  He was just a seat filler until the next act came on.  Enter Patrick Brown.  Let’s just call him Mr. Smarmy.  In 2015 Mr. Smarmy wins the Leadership Election for the Conservatives.  He beats out Christine Elliott.  She had also run for the Leadership in 2009 but lost out to John Tory.  Remember that name, Christine Elliott, she too will become a prominent name in the circus act. 

     There is a sense that all is not well in the Conservative party and there is dissension among the ranks.  There are even some attack ads in 2016 and 2017 saying that Patrick Brown is not a good candidate for women’s issues; having voted against some key issues related to women.  By January of this year, however, he’s still very popular and it looks like the Conservatives could win the June election under his leadership.  Don’t bet the farm on it.  On January 24, 2018, Brown was accused by two women of engaging in sexual misconduct, which dated back to the time he was a federal MP.  He initially refuses to resign but then everyone starts abandoning him and he decides it’s best to resign so he can fight the allegations which he says are totally false.  But he doesn’t go away that easily. 

     There is lots of speculation regarding Patrick Brown.  Some say there were reports of inappropriate behavior towards women last year but nothing came of it.  But Patrick Brown is out and the Conservatives choose Vic Fedeli as Interim Leader or more appropriate current Ringmaster.  The Conservatives thought about having the Interim Leader lead the party in the election campaign but then the party executive opted to hold a leadership election prior to the general election.  On January 29th, our next act, Doug Ford, announces that he is going to run for the leadership.  His announcement comes from his Mother’s basement.  I know, you’re saying “class act.”  Gradually three other candidates sign up.  Three women, Christine Elliot, who lost out in 2009 and 2015 if you’re keeping track, Caroline Mulroney, daughter of former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, and one trick pony Tanya Granic Allen fill out the bill.  Granic Allen just wants to be elected so she can change the sex-ed curriculum.  But wait, the circus also needs an elephant and what about that elephant in the room, former leader Patrick Brown? 

     Patrick Brown had resigned.  Remember?  Of course, elephants never forget.  He went off and tried to battle the sexual harassment allegations against him by attacking the media and the women who had made the allegations.  He had lots of support from people who thought he was innocent but also lots of derision from his own party and NDP leader Andrea Horwath who called his actions “disgusting.”  That’s all anyone has heard from Horwath up to now.  But Patrick Brown comes back and on February 16th he announces he’s running again for the party leadership.  Allegations of problems within the party related to Brown are still swirling as well as there’s new financial corruption allegations and, oh yeah, those unresolved sexual harassment charges haven’t gone away.  But Brown thinks he can run a campaign to clear himself at the same time as running a campaign to get his old job back.  Luckily, this clown withdraws his name from marquee ten days later because he thinks it’s all too tough on his family.  Maybe Patrick, it’s a circus act that smells like unwashed monkeys or the mess left after the real elephants have left the tent. 

     So where are we now?  We’re back with Ford and three female contenders.  Here’s a chance for the Conservatives to prove they really are Progressive by electing a female leader.  Both the Liberals and the NDP have elected female leaders and the Liberals even have an openly gay leader with Kathleen Wynne.  Who are the real progressive parties?  It’s not the Conservatives because, spoiler, they choose to elect the only male in the race.  I thought it would be very interesting to have a provincial election where all three female candidates from the three parties are women.  Nope.  You don’t get that with the Conservatives.  All you get is show.  A messed up exhibition leading to the selection of another old white guy to a party that has always put forward white guys; if not always old. 

     The election of the leader was a poorly choreographed event itself.  In the days leading up the finalized vote, three of the candidates were asking for the vote to be pushed back a week because it was a flawed process.  Apparently you could only vote online and you had to receive by mail a special pin to be able to log in and vote for one of the four candidates.  Many Conservative Party members complained they didn’t get their pin code while others who had no access to computers or the Internet were simply unable to participate.  The whole thing even went to court at the eleventh hour but nothing stopped the circus train from coming in on March 10th.  Well, something derailed it a bit. 

     For some reason there was some oddball weighting system of points, votes, and ridings that were contested until late on Saturday night.  The whole system was some elaborate juggling act with too many balls in the air that you knew had to come crashing down sooner or later.  The announcement of the new Leader was supposed to come at 3 pm but by 7 pm everything was being hotly contested and there was no decision.  So what do you do when there’ s no show?  You send everyone home.  Check out the picture above, they didn’t even get to drop the balloons.  The balloons only had one job and that was to be dropped from the ceiling and the Conservatives couldn’t even get that right.  Hey, what’s a Circus without balloons? 

     The whole thing didn’t get announced until around 11pm where they declared Doug Ford the winner but then the show still wasn’t over.  It would be most of the next day with Christine Elliot contesting the win before she finally accepted it and threw her support to Doug Ford.  That must have hurt.  Two time loser, Christine Elliot, had to lose a third time…to Doug Ford.  DOUG FORD!  Why the emphasis?  What’s the connection to John Tory and that 2014 Mayoral election in Toronto?  I thought you’d never ask. 

     Doug Ford has been around for a few years.  In fact, he and his brother Rob were part of a circus that played in Toronto and received international coverage.  Rob first began serving on Toronto City Council in 2000.  He was pretty much anti-anything.  He hated cyclists on the road and even lashed out at what he perceived as special interest groups.  He was once quoted in the Globe and Mail newspaper as saying  “We just need to get rid of these lifelong politicians that just give out money to special interest groups and don’t serve the community. I’m really teed off. We need to get a new council or this city is going to go down the drain.”  Doug Ford was elected to Council in 2010 and basically supported everything his brother said and did. 

     Rob Ford would be elected Mayor of Toronto in 2010 and a new circus, a very public media circus, began.  His anti-everything was basically bullying tactics that both he and Doug saw as useful to ‘stopping the gravy train’ that they thought was eating up Toronto city coffers.  But on the private side, Rob was a drug and alcohol addict.  He tried to hide it but there was so much evidence that he had to admit to it and seek treatment.  He still continued as Mayor but he had many of his powers stripped from him.  Doug supported his brother against the Council.  In his eyes, Rob could do no wrong.  Talk about a blind eye to a very public figure giving Toronto and Canada a bad name.  You can even do an online search and find Rob the circus darling of the Jimmy Kimmel Live show. 

     Now we come to that 2014 Mayoral race.  Rob was a candidate against John Tory, among others who I won’t mention here, but had to drop out due to the discovery of a tumor on his abdomen.  The tumor would turn out to be cancerous and Rob would lose his battle with the cancer in March 2016; ending one half of the Ford Brothers circus act.  Doug quickly swung in on his trapeze and decided to run for Mayor in his brother’s place.  He would ultimately come in second and lose to John Tory.  In 2014 Doug Ford would put his sites on the Provincial Conservative Leadership but then would pull out in November of that year and toss his support behind Christine Elliot.  Remember her?  She was the one to lose out on the Conservative Leadership to John Tory in 2009 and Patrick Brown in 2015.  So Doug’s support of her in 2009 came to nothing and in 2018 it all comes to blows but she loses again…to Doug Ford. 

     And now we have come full circle.  Circle.  Ring shape.  The Circus Ring.  You had to know I’d get there.  What is wrong with the Conservatives?  All they had to do was pick a woman and prove how Progressive they are but instead they choose the only male in the race; and a white guy to boot.  Where’s the diversity?  Where’s the common sense like they purported to have under Mike Harris?  The Conservatives have chosen a clown to lead them and totally ignored the other choices of very talented performers who could have brought applause from many Ontarians who were watching the show.  I want a refund. 

     So where does that lead us?  Honestly, I don’t know.  It’s more like a Freak Show than anything else.  Everyone wants change and say they’re done with the Liberal Kathleen Wynne dog and pony show.  The NDP have been suspiciously quiet at a time when Andrea Horwath should have pounced all over the circus of the Conservative comings and goings; with emphasis on the going and coming and going of Patrick Brown.  And now we’re stuck with Doug Ford and his bullying tactics who wants to pull back a planned increase to minimum wage and revisit tired old discussions on sex education, abortion, and Green Energy.  When he was in power in Toronto it was all about saving money by cutting funding to ‘special interest groups’.  Mike Harris tried that and it turned out that Nurses, Doctors, Teachers, and poor people are special interest groups who had loud voices and closed down Mike Harris’ act.  Let’s not go there again.  Let’s hope Ontarians really do have long memories and realize that new costumes on an old act are like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  Beware. 

     I don’t know how this thing will end.  I guess none of us will know until the election in June.  I’m not looking forward to that circus coming to town.  It’s bad enough that there’s a Jack Ass to the south of us.  We don’t need one here.  The question is what if you hold an election and there’s no one you really want to vote for?  There’s always that Independent.  But there’s not an Independent Party so you won’t get one of those as Premier.  Maybe it’s time to refuse the vote again.  I’ve done that before.  It’s not like a spoiled ballot where it’s not counted.  When you refuse the vote it’s counted as a vote of no confidence in all of the candidates.  That option is looking better and better to me. 

     I’ll end this blahg with a song; as I often do.  I thought maybe calliope music for the circus theme would be appropriate but then I was reminded of a very funny song by the late great Eddie Cantor entitled “When I’m The President.”  I know we don’t elect Presidents here in Ontario or even in Canada but if Eddie Cantor’s name shows up on the ballot here, he’s got my vote.

Eddie Cantor – “When I’m The President”