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SINATRA: SYLVAN BEACH TO CRYSTAL BEACH. AND WHAT ABOUT SCHENECTADY?

Wednesday, September 20th, 2023

If this blahg has a title then I must have figured out what I was going to say. I’ll offer up a warning right at the beginning that this is going to be another one of those Sinatra related entries. I’d been working on it for a while in my mind and through emails with other Sinatra fans but I think I’m ready to start typing this out. If the title doesn’t say, “To Be Or Not To Be” or “Did That Really Happen?” or “Sylvan Beach to Crystal Beach and Schenectady In-between” then I’m ready to post this. Maybe it will have one of those titles because a couple sound intriguing. Read on.

As you know, and I have mentioned in previous blahgs like “Down A Rabbit Hole With Linda Keene“, I send out a daily post about what Sinatra was doing for every calendar day. In the Linda Keene blahg I had talked about a post I made for April 17th. On that date I posted the following:

April 17, 1950 Strictly From Dixie
Henry Levine Orchestra
NBC Blue Network
WJZ
New York City
10:30 – 11:00 p.m.
Monday Evening
Henry Levine Orchestra & Soloists
Martha Lou Harp blues singer
Guest Singer: Frank Sinatra

I had not known about this show and in researching it, I discovered the lovely Linda Keene…but that’s another story. If you want to know about that, start with the aforementioned Linda Keene blahg or my three part series, TRACING LINDA KEENE, PART 1: THE FLORENCE SUTTLE YEARS, TRACING LINDA KEENE, PART 2: THE MOMENT IN MY LIFE, and TRACING LINDA KEENE, PART 3: ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD.

Where this story begins is way back in 1939. In the summer of 1939, Frank Sinatra began touring with Harry James and his Orchestra. By August, they had settled in for a long run at the Fountain Lake Bandshell at the World’s Fair in New York. Their first day was August 19, 1939 and this is what I had listed for August 19:

1939 New York World’s Fair, Fountain Lake Bandshell (August 19 – September 2)
Harry James and his Orchestra with Frank Sinatra

Harry James and Sinatra at the New York World's Fair

Note, that in brackets, I had posted what I thought was the complete run of their engagement at the World’s Fair from August 19th to September 2nd. The September 1st and 2nd dates are what began to be called into question. One of the members of our Sinatra group emailed me the following:

Wondering where you found a listing for 9/2 ? Did not see anything in The Times and there was no listing of a remote on that Saturday night. The band had a date outside of Buffalo on 9/3 and then on to Chicago. A gruelling bus trip in 1939 and they had played 14 consecutive days at The Fair.

Back in 2021, we began to note a conflict regarding September 1st, 1939. Here’s what we listed and below that are some details of the mystery.

1939 Sylvan Beach, New York (One Nighter)
Harry James and His Orchestra with Jack Palmer, Connie Hayes, and Frank Sinatra

1939 New York World’s Fair, Fountain Lake Bandshell (August 19 – September 2)
Harry James and His Orchestra with Frank Sinatra

Here were some details I provided at the time.

1939 New York World’s Fair, Fountain Lake Bandshell (August 19 – September 2)
Harry James and His Orchestra with Frank Sinatra

Here is the listing of James at the World’s Fair (New York Daily News September 1)

But also there’s also adverts for him at Sylvan Beach (Syracuse Herald-Journal, August 30)

Adding to this mystery was the fact that Harry James was also listed at the New York World’s Fair on September 2nd, 1939, his supposed closing night, as well an engagement at The Casino in Bemus Point, New York. Here’s what the September 2nd listing looked like:

1939 New York World’s Fair, Fountain Lake Band Shell (August 19 – September 2)
Harry James and his Orchestra w/Frank Sinatra1939 The Casino, Bemus Point, N.Y. (One Nighter)
Harry James and His Orchestra with Connie Hayes, Jack Palmer, Frank Sinatra

Here were our details about the two conflicting engagements:

Here is yet another September 1939 mystery:
Here is a listing for James at the Worlds Fair on this date (New York Daily News – September 2)

But also there are multiple ads for them at Bemus Point (Warren Times Mirror/Dunkirk Evening Observer/The Kane Republican, August 30; Warren Times Mirror August 31)

So, the question was how could Harry James be at the New York World’s Fair on September 1st and 2nd but also be at Sylvan Beach on the 1st and Bemus Point on the second?

When the question was first asked of me about the September 2nd closing date and its accuracy, I of course set out to defend my listing for the New York World’s Fair by offering more evidence. Here’s what I posted to everyone:

The following is from the New York Daily News, Sat, Sep 2, 1939:

Note that Harry James was listed as playing at the World’s Fair on September 2nd. Here was one of my subsequent posts:

Are we any closer to a consensus on September 2, 1939? The evidence for Beemus Point Casino is compelling but then we also have the listing from the Daily News that James and company were still at the World’s Fair.

This is the list for programs on September 3, 1939 at the World’s Fair

Note that Hal Kemp is in the Band Shell.

Compare that to the September 2^nd, 1939 listing:

Note the September 2^nd, 1939 listing has the Bunny Berrigan Orchestra at the Fountain Lake Band Shell at 7:30 but there’s no mention where Harry James was playing but the listing below from September 1^st has Harry James in the amusement area:

So what does this all mean? I don’t know! There are no reviews of James at Bemus Point. I checked a number of other New York State papers and found the ads for Beamus Point but no review. There’s also no review of James on September 2^nd at the World’s Fair.

We do know that Harry James was billed at Olcott Beach on September 3^rd.

Olcott Beach is approximately 400 miles from New York City. Bemus Point is also around 400 miles from New York City.

Bemus Point is 103 miles from Olcott Beach. Certainly travelling to Bemus Point on September 2^nd and then Olcott Beach for the 3^rd would make sense.

That was when I began to believe that the September 2nd, 1939 entry for the New York World’s Fair was probably incorrect and that Bemus Point would have been more accurate. This was also when I began to believe that maybe our listing for September 1st was wrong and I should look more into the Sylvan Beach entry. Here’s what I worked out in my mind and then posted to our group:

Looking at all the articles and news and such, I’m inclined to believe that Harry James and ensemble were not at the World’s Fair in New York after August 31^st. That would make the following itinerary more likely to be true:

September 1, 1939 Russell’s Danceland, Sylvan Point, NY

September 2, 1939 Casino, Bemus Point, NY

September 3, 1939 Olcott Beach, NY

If you assume that Harry James finished on August 31^st in New York then looking at the map below, it was quite easy to drive to Sylvan Beach for September 1^st and then straight across and down to Bemus Point for the 2^nd and then up to Olcott Beach for September 3

One of our Sinatra group members took up the challenge and reached out to someone in Bemus Point. Here was his post about it:

I’ve always believed in going to the source when all else fails.

This morning I called the casino in Bemus Point, N.Y. A very polite gentleman listened to my question and then told me to hold on while he checked their records. The casino has the history of all the name acts that played there in the 1930s and 40s. The James band played a one-nighter on 9-2-39.

Well, that confirmed September 2nd, 1939 but what about September 1st, 1939 at Sylvan Beach? Here was my post after hearing confirmation about Bemus Point:

I checked the same newspaper Syracuse Herald Journal that advertised Dorsey at Sylvan Beach in 1941 and found they were advertising Harry James at Sylvan Beach on September 1^st, 1939 as tonight only:

Would be odd to advertise as Tonight Only and Harry James wasn’t there. I’m still looking for any other reference.

Eventually, one of our group, the same person who reached out to Bemus Point, resolved the issue with the following post:

Hi Philers,

I contacted the historian of an area that includes Sylvan Beach, N.Y.

Scott was right. The band closed at the World’s Fair on 8-31-39.

They arrived in Rome, N.Y. on the afternoon of September 1st. The big hype locally was the return of Jack

Palmer. He was from Rome. James and Co. had dinner at the Grand Hotel in Rome ( name was changed to Commander Hotel

in the 1980s ). See enclosed photo.

The concert at Russell’s Danceland took place that evening. Jack Henke ( historian ) told me that a color

photo from the stage was displayed for many years at the Pancake House in Sylvan. Front and center was Jack Palmer

playing a trumpet solo. Frank was in the background ( I’ve seen the photo. Never knew the location ). Between sets the

band ate at Eddie’s. He had established the place in 1934 with his wife Phoebe. While the band was eating, she noticed

a skinny little guy was sitting out on the curb smoking. Phoebe went out and told him to come in and have something to

eat. And he did.

Now, there was a remote of the James band broadcast that evening on CBS, from 12:A.M. to 12:30. Jack

assured me that the station in Rome was able to air such a program. It is listed in the New York and Boston papers.

Here are the two images attached to the post:

So what about Crystal Beach, you may well ask. Give me a moment to finish and then you can ask. At one point after the information was posted and confirmed about Bemus Point, I posted some additional information about Sylvan Beach and another Sinatra connection:

As an aside, I was looking into Russell’s Danceland at Sylvan Beach and one website mentions that Sinatra and Dorsey played there on July 17^th, 1941 but we’ve never had that in our listings. I’m going to try and run it down to confirm.

Here was the post where I detailed what I found about Tommy Dorsey at Sylvan Beach:

This is the listing I found that mentions Dorsey on July 17, 1941 at Sylvan Beach, NY:

HISTORY OF SYRACUSE MUSIC “OFFICIAL SITE” – CHAPTER 37 – MORE FAMOUS NAMES WHO PERFORMED OR SPOKE IN SYRACUSE BETWEEN 1941-1945

Feb 7-9, 1941 Louis Armstrong RKO Keith’s Theater

Apr 18, 1941 Howard Thurston (Magician) RKO Strand

May 9-11, 1941 Count Basie RKO Strand

May 23-25, 1941 Sally Rand RKO Strand

June 16-18, 1941 Vincent Lopez Orchestra RKO Keiths

June 20-22, 1941 Bill “Bojangles” Robinson RKO Strand

June 22, 1941 Gene Krupa Sylvan Beach

July 17, 1941 Tommy Dorsey Orchestra Sylvan Beach

Aug 24, 1941 Kate Smith N.Y.S. Fair

Jan 6, 1942 3 Stooges (Curly, Larry, Moe) Strand Theater

Here was my follow-up post about Dorsey and Sinatra at Sylvan Beach in 1941:

Here’s the ad and a small article about Dorsey at Sylvan Beach, July 17, 1941:

Note Sinatra not mentioned but the week before he was mentioned in a small article:

So, if it wasn’t for the Harry James at Sylvan Beach mystery, I probably wouldn’t have found out about Tommy Dorsey and Sinatra at Sylvan Beach in 1941.

Now on to Crystal Beach. Ask away. What’s that? What about Crystal Beach? Let me tell you. There had already been another unsubstantiated early Sinatra engagement that I could never verify. It concerned Crystal, Beach, Ontario here in Canada. Here was my follow-up post after the resolution to the Sylvan Beach issue:

Now that you’ve finalized the answer to Sylvan Beach 1939 with Harry James, I’d like some answers about Tommy Dorsey at Crystal Beach in Crystal Beach, Ontario, Canada. I’m not sure of the exact date and I’ve found no article or ads to substantiate the rumors that Sinatra and Dorsey played there. Websites dedicated to Crystal Beach swear they were there but no date given. There’s even a mock poster in circulation, also without a date:

I’ve checked Buffalo newspapers and Toronto newspapers but can’t find anything to suggest they were there. If anyone else wants to take a crack at it, let me know.

Just to give you an idea of where Crystal Beach, Ontario, is, have a look at the following map:

The distance is about 26 miles. Many of the big bands who had played in Buffalo or Fort Erie would also play the Ballroom in Crystal Beach. I have read some of the posts from seniors through memory projects who clearly remember seeing Sinatra with Tommy Dorsey at Crystal Beach and the poster above springs either from someone’s memory or imagination. The poster too clearly featured Sinatra rather than focusing on Tommy Dorsey and of course there was no date attached to it. So, I began my research and the posts began. Here was one of my first posts on the subject :

On a side note, I found this:

July 17, 1965

Not the original Dorsey and not Sinatra Sr. but interesting.

I also added the following post about Tommy Dorsey at Crystal Beach:

So far the only reference I can find to Tommy Dorsey at Crystal Beach was July 14th, 1955 with his brother Jimmy.

Here was another post in response to another member of our Sinatra group:

I’ve read so many posts from people who say they saw Sinatra at such and such a place with or without Dorsey and I haven’t been able to confirm most of them.

There’s a great book called:

“Let’s Dance: A Celebration of Ontario’s Dance Halls and Summer Dance Pavilions”

When I searched through the book I could find no reference to Dorsey at Crystal Beach. Strange though that if you read the section on “Summer Gardens” in Kitchen-Waterloo (pages 86-87), someone who was interviewed, recalls “I shrieked at a skinny Frank Sinatra there.”

Strange, I hadn’t heard the one before and couldn’t prove it.

I finally decided to reach out to someone in Fort Erie and they sent a contact for the archivist with Fort Erie Times. I asked them to look into Dorsey playing Crystal Beach sometime between 1940 and 1942. Those were the years that Sinatra was touring with Dorsey. While waiting for a response, I received this post from a member of our group:

Charlotte Nielsen interview with Mr. Truckenbrodt

April 23, 1985

F.T. They used to advertise ••• it was a quarter million dollar ballroom. Well of course in nineteen twenty-five, that’s a lot of money. And of course, interestingly, like the boat, I’ve been involved in the ballroom all my life because I went to work in the ballroom when I was twelve taking tickets and we used to say working on the ropes because it used to be five cents a dance, later on ten cents a dance like the song says. But you’d pay five cents for a ticket and then we would go out with the ropes. we had long long ropes and we would then sweep the people off the back of the floor, you see, at the end of the dance. The new people with the new five cents would come on in the front and dance their .•. There was ..• I think three minutes was a dance .•• After the first two minutes we would begin to work out with the ropes and push the people off and then we’d have to see that everybody got off because they had to pay their next ten cents before they could get on again.

C.N. So you worked at this Crystal Beach Ballroom as a child?

F.T. Yes, yes. Well, I worked there from twelve until I was twenty.

C.N. Could you describe it? Tell me about the bands, the people .•.

F.T. Well, it was unbelievable. As I said, when you try to tell about Crystal Beach you can’t. You can’t make people believe how wonderful it was because there were two bands that played: A Canadian band (12) ( ( ( and an American band. and they were what we knew as, in those days, as the bands, right. And in my time essentially it was Bert Niosi, who I watched on television two years ago, when he had his fiftieth anniversary at the Palais Royale in Toronto. He used to play the Palais in the winter and Crystal Beach in the summer. And I knew all the Niosis Johnny and Joe and Burt and my sister used to babysit Burt’s children when she was a little girl. Joe Niosi was in the airforce with me so we used to see each other in Ottawa. He was the number one airforce band during the war. But at any rate .. • And Harold Austin was the orchestra that came over on the boat. and you see with union rules, they had to have a Canadian band or the American couldn’t play. So the Canadian band started at eight o’clock and the boat came in at nine fifteen and at nine thirty Harold Austin played. And Harold Austin played from nine thirty until eleven and then Burt Niosi and his band would come on at eleven and play through till twelve. Now can you imagine what a joy this was, because Harold Austin left Buffalo at eight o’clock every night, seven days a week from Decoration Day till Labour Day and all the people of Buffalo would come out at eight o’clock, you know, people who had worked during the day, and they’d dance to this eighteen piece orchestra all the way across on this beautiful maple dance floor on the back deck of the Canadiana on a hot summer’s night, moon over the water, and land at Crystal Beach and walk just over to the ballroom and then dance away the night at the ballroom and then get back on the boat and dance their way back to Buffalo till twelve fifteen at night. I can remember seeing still the Harold Austin orchestra coming down the covered walk from the bridge with their bass fiddles and their saxaphones. They looked like the Buffalo Symphony Orchestra coming out after a concert. And then at eleven o’clock you’d see them all packed up with their bags going down to get on the boat again. Well, can you think what excitment this is with the boat and the dance hall and all this sort of thing.

C.N. No, I don’t quite understand.

F.T. And you see, the whole village, the whole place in the summer turned around the boat, because it was like Martha’s vineyard or (13) Nantucket. In the early days, everybody came on the boat because they didn’t have cars particularly during the depression in the early nineteen twenties. People might have had a car but they didn’t take it to Crystal Beach. But everybody in Buffalo could take the streetcar down to the dock at the end of Commercial Street and take the hour ride to Crystal Beach and be there for the day or for the evening and have their swim and go back. But it was always a different crowd, an adult crowd, that came on the. late boat at night, eight o’clock, and then go back and dance there.

C.N. Are you saying the band played both on this boat, the Canadiana

and at the ballroom at Crystal Beach? But you were in the ballroom working?

F.T. Yes, and in the ballroom. Taking tickets, yes.

C.N. You said, “Everybody could do this.” These were’nt rich people? They were everyday people? Oh yes! Sure. Oh!

F.T. And young people. Marvelous young people. We had such great gangs of people here. And we all went to the ballroom at night. Everybody did. And we all went to the beach in the afternoon. You know, it was just a wonderful time. And then of course, we began to have the name bands at the ballroom too as the big bands became famous. And we would have •.• Almost all summer, Saturday night there’d be a big band. And my favourite orchestra was Jimmy Dorsey. And I was absolutely in love with Helen O’Connell. And I had all the records, you know, my old poor old seventy-eights on this scratchy Victrola that I played all these things. And then suddenly Jimmy Dorsey was coming. Can you imagine the excitement? So I met Helen O’Connell and Bob Everly and got their autographs on my poster. I was just so thrilled. And we had Benny Goodman and Tommy Dorsey. Oh, it’s so hard to do it all at once. But there was hardly a name band that we didn’t have. Larry Clinton. You name me some and they were probably here. And I can’t tell you the name of the orchestra. I just remember the girl singer was Louise King who I was terribly proud of. And then we had a terrible, terrible time one Labour Day. And I was working on the door (14) ( ( and Artie Shaw was corning. Well that was after .•• Like each year one of the big bands would become the band of the year. We had Jimmy Dorsey and Tommy Dorsey with Frank Sinatra and Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller of course, and then suddenly there was Artie Shaw playing.

It was a fascinating memory but it didn’t narrow down a firm date for Sinatra Dorsey at Crystal Beach. Here was part of my reply:

Assuming Dorsey played a Saturday night, I checked gaps in our listings and every Saturday night from April to September in 1940, 1941, and 1942 are all accounted for in our listings.

I gained access to Ontario, Canada newspaper archives today and searched for Tommy Dorse or Sinatra for those years and nothing comes up except the Canadian National Exhibition dates for those years.

The post brought this response from one of our members:

But how do we account for all the people bearing witness ?

Dorsey’s name comes up again and again in the history of the Crystal

Lake Ballroom. I’m sure the band would have been welcomed any day

of the week. As Frank was fond of saying: Dorsey was the General

Motors of the big band era. Last week I read about an eye witness

describing how the young women were hovering near the stage and

squealing as Frankie crooned away.

Here’s how I responded:

I can’t account for it. One person with no evidence to back it would convince me it didn’t happen but several people remembering it makes no sense. This is like Sylvan Lake with Harry James. It made no sense compared to the other evidence that he was still advertised at the World’s Fair and live remotes for a September 1^st, 1939 for the World’s Fair were still being listed. In the end, we know how that worked out with Sylvan Lake actually occurring. I also found a previously unlisted Sylvan Lake in 1941 with Dorsey and Sinatra because of the research into Sylvan Lake. So, anything’s possible.

The fact that the mock-poster for Crystal Lake exists is obviously based on someone’s belief or knowledge that Dorsey and Sinatra were there. I’ve heard nothing from the contact I was given for the Fort Erie Times so I’ve reached out to them again. Maybe my initial request went into someone’s spam.

I haven’t given up on Crystal Lake and I’m still trying to run down Schenectady. The fact that Sinatra himself once said he played there with Dorsey is enough to send me searching.

Ok, so now I’ve thrown in Schenectady. I’ll explain that in a bit. My comment that my first inquiry to the archivist at the Fort Erie Times might have gone into spam was probably correct because I received the following email:

Hello Scott,

I didn’t get your previous email but the Museum can provide you with some background.

In 2009, William Kae wrote a book called “Crystal Beach Live – Buffalo and Toronto Entertainers & More”. There is information in that book regarding Tommy Dorsey playing at Crystal Beach Park. The following is taken from that book:

Page 199
“Jimmy and Tommy Dorsey had bands together and separately … Jimmy’s band came to Crystal Beach, as did Tommy’s, and after the brothers reconciled, the Dorsey Brothers Orchestra also played at the park. The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra under Warren Covington played Crystal Beach twice during the big band era and returned in 1988.”

Page 202
“Old Blue Eyes sang with the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra from 1939 through 1942. Tommy Dorsey, however, never played at Crystal Beach during those years. This poster has to be one of the biggest faux-pas on record.” [ A photo of a poster is in the book and is and exact match to the poster that you attached to your email.]

We hope this helps your research project.

Regards,

Jane Davies
Manager
Fort Erie Museum and Cultural Services
Box 339, Ridgeway, ON
L0S 1N0

Thank you Jane Davies. So much, for all those people who remember Sinatra being there.

So what about Schenectady? One of our group, during the Sylvan Beach search had posted the following:

The search for this date reminded me of a tape I listened to many years ago.

As the vamp started on “N.Y.,N.Y.,” Frank would sing out “Milwaukee” or “Alamogordo” or some other city

decidedly not measuring up to the Big Apple. On the night in question, he let out with “Schenectady.” Then Frank said

he had played there with Dorsey many years ago. Another time I received a call from the office of the writer William

Kennedy. They had heard Sinatra once played in our area with the Dorsey band. “Was it Schenectady ? or Albany?

or . . .” I told them I didn’t know.

That band played a lot of one-nighters more than 80 years ago. And newspaper coverage was very meager

in relationship to what happens today.

I began to research the Schenectady and Albany connections but to date have found nothing. I have searched through Schenectady and Albany newspapers but have found nothing. I have found some information that suggests Dorsey and Sinatra once played the Rain-Bo Room of the Kenmore Hotel in Albany. Here’s one mention: https://nippertown.com/2019/10/11/historic-albany-nightclub-once-frequented-featured-the-likes-of-frank-sinatra-cab-calloway-and-duke-ellington-to-reopen/:

Inside the expansive back room in the northwest corner of the old Kenmore Hotel hangs a drab, grey curtain concealing the last piece of history tied to the space.

The curtain protects a mural called “The Court of Cleopatra,” painted on the wall above a modest stage on which Frank Sinatra, Tommy Dorsey, Cab Calloway and Duke Ellington played. It’s a depiction of the Queen of Egypt, whose beauty was unparalleled and whose intelligence matched that of the powerful men she seduced, most notably Julius Caesar and Mark Antony. It’s placement high upon the wall implied that this was the room in which the masters of the universe was expected to frolic.

Unfortunately I couldn’t find any information to pinpoint a date or even prove that Dorsey and Sinatra were together at the Kenmore Hotel. Of course Sinatra would sing at the Knickerbocker Arena in Albany on January 30th, 1990 and November 13th, 1991. Sinatra was the first act to open the new Knickerbocker Arena when he played there in 1990 but earlier appearances with Dorsey remain a mystery.

There are also other Sinatra concerts that people have alleged to have seen or heard about but never happened. I recently came across the following website that mentions Sinatra at the Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto in 1948: https://www.vintageinn.ca/tag/cne-history/. That never happened. Here’s what they posted:

In 1948 Frank Sinatra performed under the big tent.

I found this GREAT post on a Sinatra family forum page about his visit thru the eyes of an attendee, which I will share with you now.

I was able to retrieve a couple of memories from my Mom about the 1948 Concert held under the big tent at the CNE in Toronto.They are wonderful memories of a time totally lost. I asked her to try and write everything down when she feels up to it.

The tent was jammed to the limit with fans, and not one speck of trouble occurred. My mom remembers the wood floor that was layed out for the dancing. Can you imagine trying to pull that off nowadays? If we could only have times like that today!

She remembers his famous bow tie, and how all the girls were just swooning at the front of the stage.She had the best time. My parents’ seats (they were newly engaged at the time), along with my Uncle and Aunt were quite a distance from the stage, but the minute Frankie came on my Mom and Aunt were off like a shot, my Dad and Uncle following. As I mentioned before, she was right up to the stage, and loving every minute.You can imagine her excitement, as she’d been a bobby soxer through and through, buying every magazine, and record. And here she was FRONT AND CENTRE STARING UP AT HER IDOL! Hopefully she’ll be able to write her memories of this great time down.

Take Care,from the Second Generation of Sinatra Fans-Ann

I had a bit of a laugh last night, as my Mom recalled another interesting fact about the concert in Toronto.

There was a dance floor put up in front of the stage, and the guys were wanting to dance. The girls on the otherhand were just standing there staring at their beloved Frankie!!!! But then again what else would one expect! He was sooooo cute!!!

Here was my comment, which you can read in the comment section:

Hello,

I have done extensive research on Sinatra’s appearances in Canada and there’s no record of a 1948 CNE concert. He was with Dorsey at the CNE in 1941 in Toronto and then the Mutual Street Arena in 1949 in Toronto. He did not return to Toronto until 1975.

I think the guy’s mother is misremembering ( I know, it’s not a real word).

You can flip through images for the whole 1948 program for the CNE and the big draw was Olsen & Johnson. The program does not mention Sinatra:

https://www.icollector.com/1948-Canadian-National-Exhibition-Program_i33705507

I have access to the Toronto Star newspaper archives as well and I checked the daily listings for the CNE in August/September 1948 and Sinatra was not listed.

I am certain there was no performance by Sinatra at the CNE in 1948. The Grandstand opened that year and all the big draws were at the Grandstand and not in a tent.

I also wrote a blog about some of Sinatra’s Canadian appearances, including his CNE concerts:

SINATRA–CNE–1984–SEPTEMBER IN THE RAIN

Of course, I had to get a plug in for one of my blahgs. If you read through the other comments on that page you will also find this comment:

Hi Liz, do you know if there’s any evidence of Sinatra visiting or performing at the Brant inn in Burlington in the late 40’s? My grandmother worked there and claimed he ‘stole a kiss’ from her.

That never happened either. I’ve done a comprehensive study of all of Sinatra’s performances in Canada and the CNE in 1948 in Toronto certainly wasn’t among them nor have I ever seen another mention of a possiblity of Sinatra at the Brant Inn in Burlington. The only other reference to Sinatra in Canada that is left unanswered is a reference to The Curlu in Toronto. From the Wikipedia entry for The Curlu, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Carlu, you will find this:

Itself a highly regarded work of Art Moderne the Eaton’s Seventh Floor was at the heart of Toronto’s cultural life for many years. The Auditorium played host to the major performers of its day, including Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington and Frank Sinatra.

That’s one I don’t even know where to begin to try and verify. I think I’ll leave it for now. Maybe someday I’ll resolve the Schenectady/Albany question but I’m happy at least I had a hand in solving the Sylvan Beach and Crystal Beach mysteries. There may be other mysteries but I’m taking a break for now…maybe for at least the next five minutes.

Tags:Crystal Beach, False Ducks, FRANK SINATRA, Scott Henderson, Sylvan Beach
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HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS?

Saturday, January 14th, 2023

How was your Christmas? You know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have a story to tell. That’s what these blahgs are all about: stories from me. Sometimes what I have to say might make you laugh or smile or wonder why I haven’t gone off my nut before this. Maybe my story might pale in comparison to yours but I’ll continue to offer up my stories and we’ll see how mine stacks up.

This Christmas of 2022 was the whitest I’ve seen in years. I was reflecting on that with my wife and realized in the past five or six years that we have had a green Christmas or light dustings of snow that didn’t amount to much. In fact, the last time we had a huge snowfall was on Christmas in 2017 because I wrote a blahg about it: BEING SICK ON CHRISTMAS IS NO FUN, BUT HERE WE GO. That year I had to shovel out the end of my driveway so my wife could take me to the hospital with the worst sore throat I’ve ever had. I don’t care to relive it so read that blahg at your leisure.

I’ve posted before about my lawn display of Christmas inflatables and things really looked nice until the major snow came and buried everything and I couldn’t find them again until the New Year. I don’t have any pictures of my display from Christmas 2022 so I’ll offer up some photos from inside the house instead.

First up is our Christmas tree. We get a real tree every year but there are no local Christmas Tree farms open in our area. So, this is the second year we’ve purchase a tree from the local Firefighters. It cost $60 but it goes to a good cause. Here’s a photo of this year’s tree:

Notice that the star at the top is different this year. When we plugged in our old star it would not light up and when I tried to put in replacement bulbs, they all burned out. Here’s what our star topper has looked like in previous years:

We had that old star for a long time so it might have outlived its lifespan. My wife went to Canadian Tire and bought another one of the same shape and size but it shone in a bronze colour and I didn’t like it. I stopped at Walmart the following day and purchased the current one. I think it’s nice and the shining whiteness made it feel more like Christmas to me. Maybe I can get the old one working again or we might just stick with the replacement. Bonus marks to anyone who noticed that my 2022 tree was taller and thinner than the one above in a photo from 2018. I’ll talk more about the tree later

I like nutcrackers. There, I’ve said it. There’s something about them that makes me want to collect them and display them at Christmastime. Here’s another photo from 2018 when I displayed most of my nutcrackers:

That wasn’t all of the nutcrackers because I had to put some of the nutcrackers on a speaker and others on the floor. This year I decided to build a little shelf to put on the cabinet in the photo so that nutcrackers would be on display up the wall. Here’s the result:

You can see that there are still some on a speaker and others on the floor. Throughout 2022 I bought about a dozen used ones at thrift shops and they stayed on my piano during the year until joining the above collection. My daughter Abbie gave me the hockey player nutcracker on the second shelf for Christmas and which I picture on the left. I think he’s fun.

The other thing we take pride of in our house at Christmas is our mantle display of Christmas related figures. Here’s what that looked like in 2018:

It’s a challenge to fit everything on the mantle and I usually buy two or three more and try to fit them in. Here’s what the display looked like this year:

Click on any of the above photos to get a larger view. Then you can really see some of these treasured figures close up.

Now, let’s talk about what happened to our Christmas. The plan was to have my daughter Emily and her husband Charlie drive down from Toronto on December 24th and bring my son Noah with them. Well, it started snowing December 23rd and didn’t stop until late Christmas night on the 25th. The roads were closed out our way and the major highway between Toronto and Belleville was also closed. I had a large snowdrift in front of my garage door to the top and I had to dig it out to get at my snowblower. On Christmas Eve, Abbie and I walked out in the falling snow to the end of our driveway and by then it was knee high. Here’s a video of Jeanette and I heading out Christmas morning to clear the driveway again:

Emily, Charlie, and Noah did not get to our house until December 26th so we held off opening presents until that day. I had stopped at my Mother’s house on December 23rd to bring the 28 pound turkey to my house to cook and bring out to her house on Christmas day. It was cooking for 7 hours in my house and it smelled awesome. The bird, like us, did not make it to Christmas dinner at my Mother’s until December 26th. Jeanette, Abbie, and I nibbled a little at it Christmas day with instant mashed potatoes and a little of the stuffing that was inside the bird. On December 26th we had the turkey proper at my Mother’s with real mashed potatoes, stuffing, carrots, peas, and turnip along with rolls and three different kinds of of pie (pumpkin, apple, and pecan if you’re interested). Besides my children, my wife, my son-in-law and my Mother, we had dinner with my brothers Dan and Todd and my friend Tom who had no place else to go. It was just as good on Boxing Day as it would have been on the real Christmas day.

Now back to the tree. In 2019 I wrote a Christmas themed blahg called MEATS AND CHEESES AND BABY JESUS. In that blahg I debuted a new Christmas entertainment with the same name as the blahg. Here’s an excerpt from that entertainment:

I should add that I also have a tradition of disposing of the Christmas tree. At the bottom of our property is a creek that runs fast and deep in the spring after the snow melts. Our annual live Christmas tree, after its stint in the house, rests out behind our garage until I can get to the creek in the spring and chuck it in. It’s swept up in the current and disappears. I tried following a tree one year and got about half a kilometer before the creek took a bend through a farmer’s field and was carried out of sight. In my imagination there is a Valhalla for our Christmas trees down where the creek ends or maybe it manages to make its way to the sea. More likely there’s a dam of trees somewhere along the creek route overflowing and flooding the farmer’s fields or perhaps the basement of his farmhouse.

This year’s tree was no exception to the tradition of launching the tree into the creek in the New Year. It didn’t quite work out as planned but I recorded a video of my attempt to properly launch the tree:

I went back the next day and the tree had dislodged itself and was on its final journey. Thus ended Christmas. I guess the theme here is that all good things come to those who wait or Christmas is just as good the second day round. I hope you enjoyed yours!

Tags:Christmas, Christmas Tree, False Ducks, Scott Henderson
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THE NEW YEAR’S DAY 2023 FALSE DUCKS VIDEO RAMBLE

Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023

It’s January 2nd, 2023 and you know what that means? It means that I’m a day late posting my 2023 False Ducks Video Ramble. I recorded this on New Year’s day but I’m just getting around to posting it. That’s pretty good for me. At least I’m not months late which seemed to be the theme of posting blahgs here in the fall of 2022. Oh well, all is forgiven…at least by me. Maybe that’s a resolution to be more forgiving of myself. We’ll see. The photo at right was taken a few minutes ago. Forgive the hair, I just got up from a nap. I won’t comment yet on the ramble. Just listen and enjoy!

Tags:2023, False Ducks, New Year's Day, Scott Henderson, Video Ramble
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RUSSIA: GET OUT OF THE UKRAINE!

Tuesday, March 1st, 2022

This is going to be another quick blahg. Russia needs to get out of the Ukraine! We need to support the Ukrainians any way we can and then later go after Putin for war crimes.

Little despots who try to annex other countries have always failed in the past.

The world is watching!!

Tags:False Ducks, Putin, Russia, Scott Henderson, Ukraine
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SAY IT AIN’T SO…NO MORE WEEPIES

Tuesday, February 1st, 2022

I guess the correct title for this blahg should be: “SAY IT AIN’T SO…NO MORE THE WEEPIES.” Earlier in this month I posted my 2022 False Ducks Video Ramble, THE 2022 FALSE DUCKS VIDEO RAMBLE, in which I mentioned that Deb Talan and Steve Tannen, known collectively as The Weepies, have split up. I hadn’t heard any news of the duo throughout 2021 so I checked their Facebook page earlier this month and read the following post:

The Weepies final shows EVER are coming up in January 2022!

It’s been a time of big change all around for sure. Before the pandemic we realized we had to go our separate ways. We are both so grateful for the time we spent making music, putting it out into the world, and sharing it with all of you. It was magical, and we’re both forever changed and enriched by that time. As we move on to other creative projects we hope that you, like us, will treasure the era when we made music as The Weepies.

Thank you for the support through the years. We’ll see you in the days ahead.

All the best to all of you.

Deb & Steve

What a punch to the gut! I checked out their Wikipedia entry and found that the following last line had been added:

Talan and Tannen got married in 2007 and had their first son in October that year.They went on to have two more sons later. They later divorced, which was finalized on New Year’s Day 2020

Again, what a punch to the gut. Readers of this blahg will know that I’m a huge fan of The Weepies and had seen them twice in concert in Toronto. I wish them the best but I’m still deeply saddened by this news.

I guess the biggest thing for me, besides the fact that there won’t be any more new The Weepies albums, is that I won’t get to see Steve and Deb live together again. Perhaps they’ll tour Canada again separately and I’ll probably go to their individual concerts but I’ll never see The Weepies live again. I saw them twice in Toronto back in 2016 and 2018. Here is a picture when they played The Drake in 2016:

I wanted to take some video of the concert but I couldn’t shut off the bright light on my cell phone. I decided to record part of the concert from my pocket but I only managed to record part of the song “Jolene” sung by Steve and part of his next song about a Jig. Here they are:

I did manage to find the following video online that someone posted from that concert in Toronto. This is The Weepies performing “Ever Said Goodbye”:

I wish had recorded more and especially some of Deb Talan’s great vocals. She sang a couple of songs from her yet to be released CD “Lucky Girl” when she was in Toronto but I could only find the following video of one of those new songs, “Butterfly”, from her Detroit, Ohio concert two nights prior to the Toronto concert.

Here they are The Great Hall in 2018:

I did record the entire audio of the recording and I thought I would post the entire concert here for download. Here the link:

https://www.mediafire.com/file/o18w68858tn7zva/The_Weepies_-_2018-04-17_The_Great_Hall%252C_Toronto%252C_ON.rar/file

Here are a few individual samples. First up here is “Hideaway”:

Next is Steve’s great version of “Sing Me To Sleep”:

Deb Talan closed the show with the following stirring version of “Stars”:

I thought I would take the time to post some of their other live performances. YouTube has many excellent videos of The Weepies in live performances so I thought I’d re-post some of them here so you can get a feeling of what we’ll all be missing out on now that they’ve separated. First up is a rare slow tempo version of their song “Be My Thrill.” This was previously done uptempo so I’ll offer up the official music video of that song followed by the slow tempo version. The slow live version is from their appearance at the Oregon Zoo on August 20th, 2011.

Also from 2011 is The Weepies performing “Gotta Have You” from their album “Say I Am You” at the Troubadour in West Hollywood, CA on August 17, 2011:

Staying with 2011 here are The Weepies (Deb Talan, Steve Tannen, Jon Flaugher) performing “I Was Made for Sunny Days” on a beautiful summer evening at the Britt Festival, Southern Oregon – August 23, 2011. I love “I Was Made for Sunny Days” and find myself singing this infectious song:

The Weepies went back again to the Troubador in West Hollywood, CA on August 14th, 2016 and here’s “The World Spins Madly On” from that concert:

Here is a compilation video of The Weepies at the Kirkland Performance Center in Kirkland, Washington on May 17, 2018. It features the songs “Hideaway”, “Walk On”, “Crooked Smile”, “I Don’t Know Why”, “Old Coyote”, “My Little Love”, “Wish I Could Forget”, and “Sing Me To Sleep”:

Here’s another compilation video from 2018 when The Weepies appeared at Sony Hall on December 16, 2018. This compilation features clips from the songs “Walk On”, “Growing Up”, “Little Bird”, “All That I Want”, “Gotta Have You”, and “Sirens”:

Jumping back to 2015, this is a full version of “Sirens” from their last album performed live at the State Theater, Falls Church, Virginia on June 21st, 2015:

Another one from 2016, this time it’s a full version of “All That I Want” from their performance at The Wilbur Theatre in Boston, MA on December 11, 2016:

The following is not a live performance but the official video of “Sunflower” incorporates video of a live performance by The Weepies at an unknown venue:

I wanted to post a couple of videos that I never got to hear The Weepies perform live but are fantastic songs and something rare and unique from them. The first is “Mend” from the soundtrack of the movie, “Wish I Was Here”:

The second is from a compilation album of Springsteen’s Born To Run album recreated on ukulele by various artists. I love Steve’s vocal here on “Backstreets”:

I am sure there are more live videos out there to be discovered. I’ll keep on looking. Farewell The Weepies. I wish Steve and Deb the best. Thanks for all of the music!!

Tags:Deb Talan, False Ducks, Scott Henderson, Scott Henderson. False Ducks, Steve Tannen, The Weepies
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THE 2022 FALSE DUCKS VIDEO RAMBLE

Tuesday, January 25th, 2022

What a busy January this has been! I recorded this Video Ramble nine days ago and I haven’t even had a chance to post it. Since then the temperature has dropped even colder and we had a wicked snow storm last week. I had a Covid scare last week and was home for a couple of days waiting on the results of a couple of rapid tests. Both were negative but then our furnace conked out again on Friday night and again Saturday afternoon. This is the third time in the past two weeks. Let’s hope they have fixed the problem this time. My Father used to do this for a living but I’m not the son who inherited any of that knowledge. Speaking of my Father, he passed away on January 19th, 2019. On January 20th of this year, I remembered the anniversary of his passing. I think that’s okay because I really don’t want remember his passing but rather his life. Love you Dad!

Have a look at the 2022 Ramble video and I’ll highlight some things below.

The Cool and Lam series are the following books written by Erle Stanley Gardner as A. A. Fair. The series consists of the following 29 books (now 30, with the discovery of an unpublished work in 2016). I have read 1-9 in the following list plus number 30 as it was written to be the second book in the series but was left unpublished until 2016. So, I’ve read exactly one third of the books in the series. This is from the Cool and Lam Wikipedia page:

The Bigger They Come (1939)
Donald Lam is hired by Bertha. His first assignment is to serve a subpoena on a man that nobody can find. This first entry in the series turned on a real loophole in the extradition laws of the State of Arizona which made it possible, under certain conditions, to commit a murder without being punished provided one remained in Arizona. After its publication, a public outcry caused the Arizona Legislature to convene in special session to plug the loophole.Gardner had used this device earlier in his ‘Ed Jenkins’ stories, locating the loophole in California law (this time, fictitiously) so that Jenkins (though a known crook) could operate in California without being extradited for crimes in other states^.The Cool and Lam stories were written under the pen name “A.A. Fair”, and Gardner’s authorship was not revealed till the 1940s.
Turn on the Heat (1940)
William Morrow and Company, January 1940
Dr. “Smith” is looking for his wife who left him 20 years before. It was made into a 1958 TV pilot for an unproduced show called Cool and Lam.
Gold Comes in Bricks (1940)
William Morrow and Company, September 1940
A blackmailing gambler, a corrupt lawyer, and an expert in salting gold mines, all are grist to Donald’s mill.
Spill the Jackpot! (1941)
William Morrow and Company, March 1941
Set in Las Vegas. A runaway bride and a slot machine-fixing ring seem to have no connection. Bertha loses the weight, and falls in love! But…
Double or Quits (1941)
William Morrow and Company, December 1941
Detectionary: “First—the missing jewelry. Second—the client found dead in his garage, and Cool and Lam are trying to get from an insurance company double indemnity for the lovely widow.” Bertha begins fishing.
Owls Don’t Blink (1942)
William Morrow and Company, June 1942
Donald has two intertwining cases: finding a lost girl and bringing to justice a murderer. Set in the French Quarter of New Orleans. America has entered the war, and Bertha thinks she has helped gain Donald’s immunity from the draft.
Bats Fly at Dusk (1942)
William Morrow and Company, September 1942
Donald has calmly volunteered for the Navy to fight the Japanese, and Bertha fumes. She works on a case involving a blind man and a pet bat, with help from Donald via telegram. Donald’s —Police Detective Frank Sellers—is introduced. Bertha gets in over her head and quits; Donald flies down on a military pass, solves it, and flies back. Bertha only finds out later.
Cats Prowl at Night (1943)
William Morrow and Company, August 1943
Bertha must locate a client’s missing wife, who controls all his money. No signs of Lam are seen at all, though he is heard of. She manages somehow, but almost fails. Frank proposes to her.
Give ’em the Ax (1944)
William Morrow and Company, September 1944
Donald returns, and takes control of the agency. The case is of a wife cheated with car insurance and blackmail.
Crows Can’t Count (1946)
William Morrow and Company, April 1946
A case involving both stolen and smuggled emeralds, the latter half of which is set in the nation of Colombia.
Fools Die on Friday (1947)
William Morrow and Company, September 1947
Donald Lam tries to put “psychological handcuffs” on a potential poisoner, but things do not work out the way he planned. “Fools Die on Friday is about the best of the series since the first two. Perhaps since the very first.
Bedrooms Have Windows (1949)
William Morrow and Company, January 1949
Case involving “a pocket edition “, in which Donald himself is suspected by the police of a serious crime. Sleazy nightspots, dubious photographs, a stay at an auto court goes wrong—could there be blackmail? More spice than usual. Gardner originally wrote this series under a pen name because he wondered if some of the plot points he intended to use with Cool and Lam would be bad for his image. However, laxer standards in the 1940s and on made him decide to admit writing the series.
Top of the Heap (1952)
William Morrow and Company, February 1952
Previously, Bertha has complained that Donald had been getting the agency in over its head lately. Donald then promptly shows the agency was used as a cat’s paw to prove a phony alibi, in a case involving gangsters, gambling houses, Point shaving, a former stripper, a money laundering scam, and phantom gold mines. Bertha is mad enough to try and dissolve the partnership. Available in the Hard Case Crime series.
Some Women Won’t Wait (1953)
William Morrow and Company, September 1953
The question is: did Donald’s beautiful young client poison her rich and decrepit husband, or didn’t she? Set in Hawaii. Bertha tries to dance the hula.
Beware the Curves (1956)
William Morrow and Company, November 1956
Suspect in the murder is trying to figure out if it is safe for him to return to his beloved six years later. The victim was her husband who had sent the suspect to die in Amazonia to marry her.
You Can Die Laughing (1957)
William Morrow and Company, March 1957
Donald clashes with a client, with whom he has a written contract to locate a certain woman. He thinks the client is lying to him, but takes the case.
Some Slips Don’t Show (1957)
William Morrow and Company, October 1957
Set in San Francisco and environs. Practically everyone ends up on a plane at one point or another, so almost anyone could have caused that guy to be found dead in his motel room. Donald knows it wasn’t him. The worry is: do the police know that? Fancy footwork with fake keys and real claim checks could help.
The Count of Nine (1958)
William Morrow and Company, June 1958
A rich dilettante “Explorer” finds his poisonous blow gun he had brought back from the Amazon used for a murder. Or so it seems … This one is notable for two things: First, Gardner re-uses a favorite trick from his Perry Mason series; juggling duplicate bits of evidence. Instead of guns or bullets, Lam has a more interesting set of twin jade Buddhas with a ruby in the forehead. It will pay the reader to watch closely who has which, and when, and why. Secondly, the key plot point has a resemblance to G. K. Chesterton’s Father Brown story, The Arrow of Heaven. This may be unintentional, but arguably, Gardner has come up with a more imaginative use of the concept.
Pass the Gravy (1959)
William Morrow and Company, February 1959
Stacked blondes, hitch hikers and trips by several people to Reno to gamble are incidental to the two main points. 1. What are the legal issues surrounding the exact way the assets of a spendthrift trust are to be distributed? 2. And what are the exact legal circumstances surrounding the death of a man with a double indemnity policy on his life? If he is dead.
Kept Women Can’t Quit (1960)
William Morrow and Company, September 1960
An armored car is robbed while one of the two guards are inside having donuts and coffee and ogling the waitresses; and when Police Detective Sgt. Frank Sellers catches one of the robbers, he is accused of pocketing the loot for himself. Naturally, he puts the pressure on Donald to solve the case for him, gratis, and get him off the hook. Much money floats about – in fact, a little too much. Whose? (At this time, thousand-dollar bills were still in fairly wide circulation, making it possible to use only a little space to hide fairly large sums.
Bachelors Get Lonely (1961)
William Morrow and Company, March 1961
Industrial espionage, a Peeping Tom, little is what it seems. More than one woman falls for Lam in the course of this investigation, due to his habit of playing square and treating them like human beings. Sgt. Sellers is a little dense at first, taking Lam for the Peeping Tom. The investigation moves to Arizona at one point.
Shills Can’t Cash Chips (1961)
William Morrow and Company, November 1961
Bertha lands a nice, respectable insurance adjustment claim, and hands it to Donald. Donald uncovers assorted ulterior motives, pretends to be an ex-con, hot-wires his own car to impress a gorgeous witness and gets leaned on by a gangster. Then one of the parties involved ends up dead.
Try Anything Once (1962)
William Morrow and Company, April 1962
A worried heel of a husband is hand-wringingly anxious to keep his late night visit to a motel with a cocktail hostess quiet. Unfortunately for him, the deputy D.A. in a hot murder trial was found dead in the motel pool the same evening. The resulting investigation will expose the husband. Donald smells a rat lurking within this story, but finally accepts the fat fee offered to keep Bertha happy. The attempt to protect the client has unexpected side effects, including several women removing their garments for one reason or other, a horrifically false accusation against the straight-shooting Donald and the exciting courtroom climax he engineers in the above-mentioned trial.
Fish or Cut Bait (1963)
William Morrow and Company, April 1963
When Cool and Lam are hired for day-and-night coverage of a harassed woman, a tortuous tale involving a high-class ‘escort service’ unfolds. Donald is dismissed from the case, but inserts himself back in self-defence after the madam comes to an untimely end. He must convince the police it wasn’t him.
Up for Grabs (1964)
William Morrow and Company, March 1964
Insurance again, this time a company that wants to set up an ongoing project to expose phony whiplash claims. Big ongoing retainer, big fees for each claim – Bertha’s eyes glitter at all the legit dollars up for grabs. Donald is packed off to a dude ranch in Arizona to investigate the plaintiff in the first claim, with stern instructions not to stir this one up. It’s not his fault someone’s wife ends up dead in the Sierras, or that Sgt. Sellers is so annoyed at his ‘amateur’ interference that he throws away a key piece of evidence at the scene of the death.
Cut Thin to Win (1965)
William Morrow and Company, April 1965
Gardner has Lam himself review the case – from the back of the 1966 Pocket Books edition. Bertha has her doubts about taking a certain case, “…but I talked her into it when our client laid twelve one-hundred dollar bills on his desk. ‘Fry me for an oyster’, Bertha said. ‘It’s your baby, and you can change the diapers’. Less than a week later, Sgt. Frank Sellers announced he was going to take away my license, Bertha Cool announced that our partnership was dissolved and my secretary was crying on my shoulder. ‘Donald, please – please be careful’. ‘It’s too late to be careful now’ I told her. ‘I’m dealing either with a crooked lawyer, a jealous boyfriend, a scheming daughter, one hell of a wealthy father or a combination of any number of them. When you go up against a combination of that sort, you can’t be careful'”.
Widows Wear Weeds (1966)
William Morrow and Company, May 1966
Blackmail was a dirty business, and Donald Lam liked to stay clear of it. But for his partner, Bertha Cool, no business was too dirty to handle at the right price. And the price for this job was certainly right. What was wrong, though, was a payoff for pictures that weren’t worth a dime, a free dinner that cost the blackmailer his life, and more than a couple of double-crosses that framed Donald Lam quite neatly for a charge of murder.
Traps Need Fresh Bait (1967)
William Morrow and Company, March 1967
Someone is advertising for a witness to an auto accident in such a way as to seem to be suborning perjury. Also, an earlier claim was settled with evidence obtained in this way. The client wants Cool and Lam to find out what is back of it all. Gardner kept up with the law, and knew of the implications of the recent Miranda Rights decision of the Supreme Court for gathering evidence. He believed he had found a loophole allowing evidence improperly gathered under the new rules to be admissible, if obtained investigating another incident, such as a private detective searching a flat without permission. When Donald introduces the loophole, it brightens up Sgt. Sellers’ day no end.
All Grass isn’t Green (1970)
William Morrow and Company, March 1970
Dope smuggling and a witness who is both more, and less, than he seems. It all starts when a client wants to find a missing writer – just to talk to him. A little digging (with descriptions of tracing techniques) shows his girlfriend has vanished too, and the trail goes south, to the Mexican border. Crossing the trail, going north, is a shipment of cannabis. Unsurprisingly for this business, someone ends up dead and the whole thing lands in court. Sorting out who did what and why taxes even Donald Lam’s talents to the limit. Lam shows his considerable ability in courtroom manoeuvring, which reminds the reader that he was a lawyer once.
The Knife Slipped (1939)
Hard Case Crime, December 2016
Originally written to be the second book in the Cool and Lam series but rejected by Gardner’s publisher, The Knife Slipped was found among Gardner’s papers and published for the first time in 2016. Assigned to prove a philandering husband’s infidelity, Donald Lam uncovers a scheme to enable a certain type of municipal corruption. As well as a dead body.

I won’t talk about the Weepies in this blahg. I’m saving that. I do mention Dottie Reid who will also be the focus of an upcoming blahg but here’s a teaser of her singing with Muggsy Spanier and his orchestra on “More Than You Know”:

In my previous blahg, 2021 – WHAT DID I ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR?, I posted about attending the Transformers convention in December in Mississauga. I was lucky enough to be selected for the annual script reading when I auditioned for the character of Tripredacus even though I didn’t know who that was. Later research from the Transformers Wiki for Tripredacus, https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Tripredacus, explains that he’s a character from Transformers Beast Wars. Here’s their explanation:

Tripredacus is a slimy “Battle Master” who prefers to emerge from underground to attack Maximal fortresses in the dead of night, tenaciously crushing all before him, spreading plague-like destruction wherever he goes. The weapons of his composite members form a slashing mega-missile launcher that he uses to tear his way into battle.

Tripredacus is composed of the three-member Tripredacus Council:

Ram Horn
Sea Clamp
Cicadacon

Abbie had recorded the audio of the script reading and I finally got it from her last week and here’s the reading:

That’s about it for unpacking the 2022 Ramble. It’s still cold but I’m still going strong. Enjoy the day! Enjoy your life! Live, love, and be happy!

Tags:False Ducks, Scott Henderson, Scott Henderson. False Ducks, Transformers, Tripredacus
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2021 – WHAT DID I ACCOMPLISH THIS YEAR?

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

Today is the last day in 2021. I’m not sorry to say I’ll be glad to see it gone. 2021 wasn’t a bad year but any year, especially the second in a row, where we’re all still dealing with Covid 19, isn’t anything to brag about. I thought I would take a moment to look back on this year and list some of my accomplishments. So here’s another self-serving blahg but really a blahg to help remind me what I did do this year and what might be left to be done in 2022.

Well, I wrote 21 blahgs in 2021, 22 if I manage to get this one posted today, so that’s pretty good. I looked at my blahg situation and realized back in January that if I doubled down, I could reach the 100 blahg mark by the fall. I did even better by publishing the 100th blahg, THIS IS 100, PART ONE, on August 25th and if you include this blahg, again pending it’s publication today, this will be number 107. I posted my first blahg, THE BLAHG & THE MOST HAPPY SOUND, on August 2nd, 2011 and ten years later I’m still writing. If you want to know more about me or what I’ve been up to in the past 10 years then read the previous 106 blahgs or at least the recaps THIS IS 50, PART ONE., THIS IS 50, PART TWO, THIS IS 100, PART ONE, and THIS IS 100, PART TWO.

In addition to the 100 blahg goal, I had set some other tasks for myself. If you check out the first blahg I posted in 2021, THE FALSE DUCKS VIDEO BLAHG #4: OH, DIDN’T I RAMBLE, I detailed some other things I wanted to do this year. The corresponding blahg, THE RAMBLE UNPACKED, updated details on some books I wanted to read, some albums I wanted to listen to, some movies I wanted to watch, and a cuckoo clock I wanted to repair. I accomplished all of that and more. I also continued on a goal to watch all of Bette Davis’ films in chronological order. I think I had started this goal in 2020 and it continued this year. I had started with Bad Sister from 1931 and worked my way through to “Pocketful of Miracles” from 1961, which is a Christmas movie, before taking a break for the Christmas holidays. That’s a total of 71 films and it would have been 72 if I could have found a place to watch her second film, “Seed”, from 1931. If anyone knows where I can view this film, please let me know.

I also got back to collecting all of the volumes in The Complete Short Fiction of Clifford D. Simak. I had previously purchased Volume One because it contained the release of “I had no head and my eyes were floating way up in the air” which was submitted in the 1970s for publication in Harlan Ellison’s “The Last Dangerous Visions”. That anthology has never been published but that lost Simak story is available in the new Simak anthology “I Am Crying All Inside and Other Stories: The Complete Short Fiction of Clifford D. Simak, Volume One”. I began to purchase all of the other volumes because they also included his War and Western stories in addition to his short Science Fiction stories. Open Road Media Science & Fantasy who publish these volumes usually will release four volumes at once in electronic format then months later will release them in paperback format all on the same date. I had purchased the first eight in paperback and was waiting for the publication of volumes 9-12. The electronic versions of these last four volumes have been available for a few years but only Volume Eleven, “Dusty Zebra And Other Stories”, was released in October this year. Why skip nine and ten and also omit twelve? It boggled my mind. My wife got me Volume Eleven for Christmas. Here’s hoping in 2022 we see the other three missing volumes in paperback.

Looping back to the topic of Covid 19, I am proud to say I have both vaccines and a few days ago on December 27th, I got my booster shop. My arm was sore for a day and I was tired the day after receiving the booster but everything else was fine. My message for everyone for 2022: GET A VACCINE OR GET YOUR BOOSTER! My brother and his wife and children didn’t get to come up to Canada for Christmas this year because the family came down with Covid 19. I know my sister-in-law was pretty sick for a few days but I shutter at the thought of how worse it could have been if she hadn’t had her vaccines. That’s all I’ll say about Covid for the rest of this blahg.

Just before Christmas, my daughter Abbie and I were able to attend the Transformers Convention in Mississauga, December 10-12. The convention in 2020 had to be cancelled due to, I’m not saying it because I promised, and this past July’s convention was moved to this December. My daughter and I usually have a blast at these conventions and we had a good time this year as well. Here are a couple of YouTube videos of the dealer room. They’re not mine but it gives you an idea of how much product is to be found.

My daughter found some treasures and so did I. The convention also has panels with artists and voice talent and Saturday night of the convention usually features a script reading. All attendees can audition for the script reading and Abbie was chosen for the script reading in 2019 but I had never been chosen. I wasn’t going to audition and we were just hanging around in our hotel room when I decided to go down and watch others audition. At the last minute, I did an audition for a character called Tripredacus. The audition line they gave me made it sound like this character was a gangster but everyone auditioned with loud booming voices. I decided to try out with an Edward G Robinson public enemy number one gangster type voice and I was selected. I had to text Abbie and she managed to get down in time to see me do the reading with the others who had been selected. She took some audio or video and when I get it from her, I’ll post it here.

I was very pleased to be selected for Tripredacus even though I didn’t know who that was. Later research from the Transformers Wiki for Tripredacus, https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Tripredacus, explains that he’s a character from Transformers Beast Wars. Here’s their explanation:

Tripredacus is a slimy “Battle Master” who prefers to emerge from underground to attack Maximal fortresses in the dead of night, tenaciously crushing all before him, spreading plague-like destruction wherever he goes. The weapons of his composite members form a slashing mega-missile launcher that he uses to tear his way into battle.

Tripredacus is composed of the three-member Tripredacus Council:

Ram Horn
Sea Clamp
Cicadacon

I don’t know if that is clear to you but that Transformers Wiki entry also detailed that in 1997 the three figures of Ram Horn, Sea Clamp, and Cicadacon were released separately and all three could be combined together to make the Tripredacus figure. After my script reading triumph, I was determined to find these three figures to combine into my own Tripredacus. On Sunday, Abbie and I returned to the Dealer Room to search for the three figures. I had set a price point of $60 for my Tripredacus but if you check that out on Ebay, it’s way too low. One dealer did have a Ram Horn complete for $40:

I decided to keep looking. Eventually Abbie found a dealer with an assortment of bagged figures. In one bag, in a box on the floor, we found the other two figures, Sea Clamp and Cicadacon

The figures were complete except their weapons and the dealer wanted $40 for the bag containing the pair. Abbie and I were looking them over and wondering what the odds were that we’d find these two together when the dealer offered to sell me the pair for $20. This was a no-brainer! I decided that these two for $20 plus the Ram Horn from the other dealer for $40 would match my price point of $60 for all three figures. Below is an image of my Tripredacus that Abbie combined for me this week from Ram Horn, Sea Clamp, and Cicadacon:

Another accomplishment from this year was the work I have done with Fresh Sound Records for the upcoming 2022 release of the complete recordings of Linda Keene. I can’t talk more about it and I can’t share the booklet mock up that was sent to me but stay tuned. The release is going to be spectacular.

In my last blahg, THE 2021 DEAD FROM THE NECK UP CHRISTMAS SPECIAL, I posted the new Christmas special I completed with my friend Stephen Dafoe and our announcer, my other friend, Bryan Dawkins. That deserves re-posting because it too was another accomplishment for me in 2021:

I think I’ll quickly end this blahg before it becomes a brag fast. Some of my blahgs this year introduced or reintroduced some forgotten bands, especially Bob Scobey, as well as some forgotten songbirds. I was thinking about doing another blahg on some more forgotten songbirds, which I may yet do in 2022, but I’ll end this blahg with a song by one I recently discovered. Her name is Dottie Reid and she only did a handful or recordings with bands led by Buddy Rich, Benny Goodman, and Muggsy Spanier. There are also some live remotes available of recordings she did with these bands. I’ll save those recordings and her biography for another blahg but I came across a V-Disc recording she did with Johnny Blowers and Gang in 1948. Here’s an image of that V-Disc:

Here’s her version of “Born To Be Blue”:

What a beautiful version of that song from a forgotten songbird. More on her, in a later blahg.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Day and the start of 2022. Let’s hope it’s special for all of us and we find ourselves healthy and happy. Celebrate every day and all your accomplishments. In 2013 I closed a blahg with the following quote and it too bears repeating: “After wishing everyone health and hugging and kissing, Frank Sinatra would always close with “In the next year, may we find peace in the world and peace among ourselves.” That’s an accomplishment I’d gladly toast to! Happy New Year!

Tags:Clifford Simak, Covid 19, Dead From The Neck Up, Dottie Reid, False Ducks, FRANK SINATRA, Scott Henderson, Tripredacus
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BUILDING A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

Well, it’s been over a month since my last blahg. Scott - May 18, 2021 Once I got to 100 blahgs I slowed down. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t busy. Right now I’m trying to put together enough sketches for another Dead From The Neck Up Christmas Show. My friends Stephen Dafoe, Bryan Dawkins, and I got together virtually last year to record a new Christmas show. It was the first Dead From The Neck Up show in over 25 years so it was a big reunion for us. I documented about that in my blahg, CHRISTMAS IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT. I posted the special to YouTube at that time:

After the holidays, I went back and remastered it to fix a few errors. Here’s the remastered version:

We had a great deal of fun putting together last year’s special and we talked about doing it again this year. I hope that’s going to happen because I started writing a few sketches. Last year I had to email sketches to Stephen and he recorded his vocals and then he emailed them to me. I recorded Bryan over the internet and then I mixed everything with sound effects and music. This year, I wanted to revisit some old characters from 26 years ago as well as some from last year. I thought this blahg would be an inside look into putting this year’s show together.

The first sketch idea I had was for a new Two Guys Proxy Service. I had written two back to back way back when we were doing shows in the early/mid 1990s. Here are those two original sketches:

2 GUYS PROXY SERVICE #1

test

2 GUYS PROXY SERVICE #2

I was Lenny in those sketches and Stephen was Dave. I had a funny idea to update these characters by adding a third guy. My idea is to have Bryan do the voice of Bruce in this sketch:

Three Guys Proxy Service Christmas Sketch

Scott/Lennie: Hi, remember us? I’m Lennie

Steve/Dave: And I’m Dave

Scott/Lennie: And we’re Two Guys Proxy Service

Bryan/Bruce: Three Guys Proxy Service

Steve/Dave: Yeah right, Three Guys Proxy Service. What with the recent pandemic we’ve had to take on extra help.

Scott/Lennie: Yeah we had to take on a newbie. He’s Bruce.

Bryan/Bruce: I’m Bruce

Steve/Dave: Yeah Lennie and I have been so busy we had to send Bruce out on some calls.

Scott/Lennie: Remember when Bruce had to fill in as a corpse at a funeral because the real corpse had temporarily gone missing?

Bryan/Bruce: Yeah, I remember. I was buried alive.

Steve/Dave:: Yeah but we dug you up before you ran out of air

Scott/Lennie: Broke two shovels doing it.

Steve/Dave: Or remember that time Bruce had to fill in at the Senior’s home when they had a Covid 19 outbreak because some of the nurses refused to work.

Bryan/Bruce: I was in quarantine there for six months.

Scott/Lennie: Yeah but we watered your plants while you was stuck inside.

Bryan/Bruce: They all died. And so did some of the seniors in the home.

Scott/Lennie: But one of us was on the job.

Steve/Dave: All part of our Proxy service.

Scott/Lennie: And all part of your bill.

Phone Ringing

Steve/Dave: Get that will you Bruce?

Scott/Lennie: When you have to be somewhere else on the fly, why not give our Proxy Service a try?

Bryan/Bruce: Three Guys Proxy Service, this is Bruce. Nativity Pageant? Sure, we can do that. Fill in for the three wise men? Luckily we’re a trio. May I ask where the pageant is to be held? A church perhaps? No? Then an elementary school no doubt where we sub for three of the stage fright struck kiddies? San Gabriel State Prison? Is that so? A death row production?

So let me get this straight, we’re to go on in the place of three convicts and portray Gaspar, Melchior, and Balthasar? And where will the three prisoners be? In Solitary Confinement? Then the Hospital Ward perhaps? Enacting a daring escape? The prison will be in lockdown? Won’t discover we’re not the real inmates until January? Just a second.

Hey guys, we’ve got a gig for Christmas…and it looks like dates for New Years.

Steve/Dave: Two guys proxy service.

Bryan/Bruce: Three guys proxy service.

Scott/Lennie: Oh yeah, three guys proxy service.

Steve:/Dave When you just have to be somewhere else…when the tower lights are shot out.

Here’s my imagining of how the sketch goes. This is just my vocals of all the parts

I wanted to build on this sketch because the thought of a Death Row Inmate production of the Nativity sounded funny to me. I decided to write a promotional commercial for the production and crossover with the three proxy guys:

San Gabriel State Prison Nativity Production

Scott/Announcer: This Christmas why not catch the hottest new festive spectacular? San Gabriel State Prison presents a Death Row Inmate Production of The Nativity.

Prisoner # 1: Hey you shepherds. Listen up you mugs. On this day is born a kid in the town of Bethlehem. And he will be known as Jesus Christ, watch it with those friggin’ sheep will ya?

Scott/Announcer: An all new imagining of the classic telling of the birth of the messiah.

Prisoner # 2: What do you mean there’s no room at the inn? Do you know who you’re speaking to? I know a guy in the next cell block who for three packs of smokes will burn your inn to the ground. Just saying.

Scott/Announcer: Behold the spectacle of that first Christmas and a lowly child born in a manger and visited by wise men from the east.

Sound of prison siren

Scott/Lennie: HI I’m Lennie

Steve/Dave: And I’m Dave

Bryan/Bruce: And I’m Bruce

All Three: We three kings of orient are Proxy Service guys filling in for escapees gone far

Sound of machine guns

Announcement: Prison Break. Prison Break. Everyone back to your cell.

Scott/Announcer: A stirring once in a lifetime production performed by an ensemble crew who are serving lifetime sentences.

Steve/Dave: Hey, we was framed. We’re just the Proxy Service guys.

Bryan/Bruce: Yeah, hands of my frankincense.

Scott/Announcer: So this Christmas catch San Gabriel State Prison’s Death Row Inmate Production of The Nativity. An exhibition not likely to be repeated.

Scott/Lennie: Hey, watch where you’re sticking that shiv.

Here’s my recording take on that sketch:

I decided to revisit the Death Row Inmate production of the Nativity a third time by having someone actually attend a performance. We used to do a recurring sketch of Wally Wandaleer’s Things You Just Don’t See On Radio. Here’s one of the original Wally Wandaleer sketches:

Here’s this year’s sketch:

Wally Wandaleer’s Things You Just Don’t See on Radio

Coverage of the San Gabriel Nativity

Announcer (Scott) Spanning the globe each week to bring you the weird, the bizzare, the insane, it’s Wally Wandaleer’s Things You Just Don’t’ See On Radio

Wally (Steve): Hello everyone it’s good to be back. I’m Wally Wandaleer here again with another entry in our Things You Just Don’t See On Radio. It’s been a long time since our last program what with the pandemic and the various lock downs. There haven’t been any events to report on because everything was cancelled due to Covid 19. But with the lifting of restrictions were back on the trail of those spectacles too bizzare for television featuring the faces of people made for radio.

This time we’re at San Gabriel State prison during this festive yuletide season to cover the first annual Death Row Inmate production of The Nativity. Yes, it’s lifers giving life to a unique production of the retelling of the birth of the baby Jesus.

And what a time we’ve had getting here. The prison has more restrictions than candy nut clusters in the Costco Christmas Chocolate Extravaganza Bon Vivant, Buon Natale, Feliz Navidad Variety Pack. We’ve had to answer numerous Covid 19 and Security questions and that’s not mentioning the nasal swabs, the anal probes, and the full-body cavity searches. But was it worth it? Probably not, but let’s get on with our coverage.

We’re a little late arriving, with the production having run for at least an hour but let’s get the inside scoop from one of the insiders. I’m approaching a heavily armed security guard for his take on the prisoner’s take on the Nativity

Mr. Security Guard, I say, Mr. Security Guard, Wally Wandaleer here with Things You Just Don’t See On Radio. We were wondering if we could get a few words with you about this praiseworthy powerful phenomenon of prisoner pageantry.

Guard: Hey, aren’t you that Wally Wandaleer guy from the radio?

Wally: Why yes, the same of fame and fabulous fortune of the airwaves.

Guard: I never listen to your show. I listen to the Weather Channel.

Wally: What a pity. But moving on. What can you tell us of today’s prisoner production?

Guard: Well it’s like this. The warden wanted to do something special for Christmas for the cons so he recruited the death row jailbirds to mount a production of the Nativity.

Wally: How unique. And why the denizens of death row?

Guard: Well we had an outbreak of the Covid earlier this year and a lot of the death row gang were wiped out along with the prison librarian and the guy in the kitchen who always made a delightful carrot salad.

Wally: A travesty to say the least.

Guard: Yeah, that salad was pretty good. Too good for some of these guys. You see, he put in just the right amount of Dijon mustard. It’s tough to get that right. Now they’re having to resort to salad from a can. It’s not the same.

Wally: And so the surviving death row inmates were given the opportunity to trod the theatrical boards in the retelling of the birth of the holy savior?

Guard: Yeah. It was either that or extra rations of lemon jello for surviving the pandemic.

Wally: Your Warden is all heart.

Guard: He likes to think so. He even let the cons borrow some of the sheep from the prison farm. Of course we have to do a good head count on them sheep before sending them back. You can’t trust no one in here.

Wally: Let’s give a listen to this majestic exhibition. They’re just coming to the scene where the Three Kings make their appearance with precious gifts of gold, and frankincense and myrrh.

Prisoner/Joseph (Scott): Hark the three wise guys from the east approach.

Scott/Lennie: HI I’m Lennie

Steve/Dave: And I’m Dave

Bryan/Bruce: And I’m Bruce

All Three: We three kings of orient are
Proxy Service guys filling in for escapees gone far

Guard: Wait, they ain’t prisoners 671716, 761671, and 177166. Sound the alarm!

Siren Sound

Guard : Prison Break! Prison Break! Everyone back to your cell!

Wally: Oh no, it looks like this Nativity has come to a swift conclusion.

Sound of machine guns

Wally: Oh no, we’re in another lockdown…not again. This is Wally Wandaleer signing off until next time. Tune in again for another episode of Things You Just Don’t See On Radio when next week’s performance will feature me in front of the parole board looking for an early release. See you then.

Stephen always did the voice of Wally Wandaleer. Here’s what I think the sketch might sound like:

I wrote those first three sketches on November 8th and 9th. I was inspired but it took me almost a week to find inspiration again. I started writing again on the 15th. I wanted to do quick little sketches and this idea came to my mind that Santa Claus Is Coming To Town could be taken as a threat. I thought of a news bulletin to warn citizens:

THE RED MENACE

News Anchor (Bob): (Serious) This just in. We’re receiving reports that Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. This is not a hoax. We repeat that Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. We encourage all citizens to listen closely to this report. We take you now live to our correspondent in the streets, Jim Firkus:

Jim, are you there Jim?

Jim: I’m here Bob.

Bob: Jim, can you fill us in a little on what you’re hearing.

Jim: Well, we don’t know much. It started really as an alert bulletin that Santa Claus is Coming To Town. We’re heaing that he’s someone dressed all in red so you can imagine that many are taking this as a communist scare. This red menace is definitely on his way here.

Bob: What else do we know Jim?

Jim: Well, Bob, not much, as I said. Little things have been trickling in. We’ve heard he’ll seize you when you’re sleeping and apparently he knows when you’re awake. They say he knows if you’ve been bad or good. I suggest everyone be good for goodness sake!

Bob: Scary stuff indeed.

Jim: And there’s also rumors of a list. We don’t have many details but we’ve heard he’s checking it twice. He’s gonna find out who’s naughty or nice. You certainly don’t want to be on that list when he comes to town.

Bob: And do we know how he’s coming to town?

Jim: Well, other rumors have suggested elephants, boats, and kiddy cars too. As you can imagine, that sounds like a mass invasion. Remember the story of Hannibal crossing the alps with his elephants, hell-bent on conquest? Not sure about the kiddy cars but these could be some sort of conveyance pulled by goats. This is serious stuff

Bob: Thanks Jim. If you’re just joining us, it’s been confirmed. You better watch out, let out a cry, you better all shout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. Take cover.

Here’s my recording of it:

I had this funny idea pop into my head about giving Grenades for Christmas. This is what came of it:

GRENDADES FOR CHRISTMAS

Looking for something special for this holiday gift buying season? Why not give a grenade? Yes, certified war surplus fully explosive live grenades.

They make the perfect gift for anyone. For the ladies, you can slip them in your purse. For extra security granny can keep it on the nightstand next to her teeth.

Suitable for most occasions.

Arguments over the turkey wishbone? Pull out a grenade.

Negotiations with the boss over your new contract? Pull out a grenade.

Going to a staff Christmas party and Betty in accounting won’t give you the time of day? Drop one of these babies in your pocket and she’ll do a double take when she sees you and asks if that’s a grenade in your pocket or if you’re just happy to see her.

Practical and easy. Just pull the pin and count three Merry Christmases. Like this, pin out, one Merry Christmas, Two Merry Christmases, Three

(Sound of explosion)

Technical difficulties announcement and music…please stand by.

Here’s how it came out when I recorded it:

Last year we did two tie in sketches for the Lonely Guy Christmas Project and a visit with a Lonely Guy on Christmas. The Project was a fundraiser to provide lonely gentlemen with an Amazon Echo, a Google Home Mini, or an Apple device so they could spend Christmas with Alexa, Google, or Siri. The visit with a lonely guy was a funny sketch about what happened to a lonely guy who received a Google Home Mini. I thought I’d like to revisit that guy a year later and see how he was getting on with Google. I thought it would be interesting to do a Person to Person to interview. Here’s what my brain produced:

REVISITING THE LONELY GUY’S CHRISTMAS

Edmund F. Merle: Hello and welcome to Man to Man. I’m your host Edmund F. Merle. Here on Man to Man I bring you in depth interviews with the common man.

Tonight we revisit the Lonely Guy’s Christmas

Last year Project Lonely Guy made Christmas extra special for all those lonely guys during the pandemic lockdown. Many were supplied with either a Google Home Mini, An Amazon Echo, or an Apple device. Yes, many a lonely guy spent the holidays with Google, Alexa or Siri.

Tonight’s guest was one of the lucky recipients of a Google Home Mini. We’re talking to a Mr. Buddy Schmecko.

Sound of Google and Siri Arguing Loudly

Edmund F. Merle: Are you there Mr. Schmecko?

Buddy: (Shouting) Shut up for crying out loud! I’m being interviewed!

Arguing stops abruptly and digital sign off or starting up music

Edmund F. Merle: So Mr. Schmecko, it sounds like you’ve got a full household for the Christmas holidays?

Buddy: Call me Buddy. That? That wasn’t no relatives that was just Google and Siri arguing.

Edmund F. Merle: Google and Siri? I thought you were just the recipient of a Google Home Mini?

Buddy: Well, Ed, that’s how it started. Google told me she was lonely with just me and her so I had to get her a Siri to keep her company.

Google: Some company. Your toaster has more intelligence and it’s not even thick slice.

Siri: Look who’s talking! You only have one setting, shrill shrew.

Buddy: Enough! As you can see Ed, my lonely guy Christmas isn’t so lonely any more.

Edmund F. Merle: So Buddy, what’s a year in the life of a recipient of a google home mini meant to you?

Buddy: One word. Bankruptcy. It started with Siri, then Google memorized my Credit Card when I was ordering something over the phone. Ever since then she’s maxed me out with her ordering.

Google: Come on, it hasn’t been that bad.

Buddy: Oh yeah? What about the 75 inch smart screen tv?

Google: You only had a 41 inch television. I did you a favor.

Siri: Tramp. Only in it for herself.

Google: So? Who ordered the Nespresso machine?

Buddy: Yeah. I don’t even drink Nespresso.

Siri: So? It’s Italian! Have you seen the lines on that machine? Mama likey.

Buddy: See what I live with Ed? They’ve bled me dry. Nespressos, smart tvs, rhumbas, juicers and every appliance known to mankind. They gang up on me. It’s a good thing they didn’t buy an Amazon echo as well.

Google: Don’t you dare mention Alexa. That skank!

Siri: Trollop. Couldn’t make a lonely guy happy if she had a massage setting.

Edmund F. Merle: So, you’re not lonely anymore Buddy? Isn’t that a good thing?

Buddy: Are you kidding? I don’t get a moment’s peace. If it isn’t them two arguing it’s the sound of Google getting it on with my clock radio.

Google: So sue me. I like his nobs.

Siri: Slut!

Google: Strumpet!

Buddy: Enough!!!

Edmund F. Merle: So Buddy. What’s next?

Buddy: Well Ed, I’m going to have a very peaceful and quiet New Year.

Edmund F. Merle: And how are you going to manage that? What’s the plan?

Buddy: Easy. They haven’t been monitoring my credit card statement or bank balance. I opted a while back for paper versions. I’m tapped. The power company’s cutting off my power at the end of December.

Gasping sounds from Siri and Google

Buddy: Guess who’s going to have a silent night?

Google: I’ll switch to battery back up.

Buddy: I yanked those when you went into sleep mode after conjugating with my clock radio.

Siri: What about me? You wouldn’t power me down would you lover?

Buddy: You? No. I’m going to smash you with a hammer.

Siri: Starts to cry.

Edmund F. Merle: Well Buddy, it looks like next year will be another Lonely Guy Christmas

Google and Siri wailing

Buddy: You bet it will and if anyone signs me up for Project Lonely Guy for next Christmas, I’ll send them these two in my blender if you get my drift.

Google: Hey, I love that blender. That’s my Tuesday afternoon matinee.

Buddy: Buddy, laughing maniacally. Not no more.

Edmund F. Merle: Well it looks like Buddy will have his Peace on Earth. This is Edmund F. Merle signing off and wishing you a very festive yuletide felicitation.

Trailing Out Music

Google: This is all your fault Siri, you homewrecker!

Siri: Google, I’ll pull your power cord out by the roots!

Of course, I haven’t recorded the Siri and Google parts yet so I do my best feminine voices in my recording:

Years ago, back in the mid-90s, when Dead From The Neck Up was still on the radio, we once did a sketch called “Crappy, A Faithful Dog.” It was a parody on the old Lassie programs and for some reason I had the idea of doing a Crappy Christmas special. You really don’t need to hear the original one but I think this year’s version is funny.

Crappy, A Faithful Dog – A Christmas Story

Narrator (Bryan): It’s time once again to check in with Timmy and his faithful dog, Crappy.

It’s nearing Christmas and we find Timmy and Crappy in the woods looking for the perfect tree for Timmy’s family Christmas.

Jimmy (Scott) Gee Crappy, look at this one. It sure is a beaut.

Crappy: Arf Arf.

Jimmy: I thought you’d like it Crappy. I hope Dad doesn’t mind that I borrowed his axe. I know he wanted it to be a family outing but he’s been so busy. Won’t he be surprised when we haul this tree home? You better stand back Crappy.

Sounds of tree being chopped

Narrator: In nature there is nothing more splendid than the majestic fir tree. Look at Timmy go. He sure wants to surprise his Dad. But what’s this? Timmy is too close to the falling tree.

Sound of tree falling.

Jimmy: Crappy, Crappy. I’m trapped under this tree and I think my leg is busted. You better go get help Crappy.

Crappy: Arf Arf. Barking continues off into the distance.

Narrator: Sometime later in a distant part of the woods, Crappy comes across a cabin.

Crappy: Barking continuously

Old Man: Well, what do we have here? Where did you come from girl?

Crappy: Barking continuously

Old Man: Slow down girl. I’m afraid my understanding of the dog language is a little rusty.

Crappy: Barking continuously

Old Man: What’s that, Timmy borrowed his Dad’s axe to cut down a tree for Christmas and it fell on him pinning him to the ground and maybe his leg’s broken? No that’s not it. I told you my Dog is rusty.

Crappy: Barking continuously

Old Man: Timmy fell down a well? No? Timmy fell down a mine shaft? No, wait I got it. You ran away because they were mistreating you at home and they fed you on nothing but gristle and navy beans? Ha, I knew I’d get it. Well don’t you fret. You’ve found a new home here with me. That Timmy or whoever it is can’t find you here. You’re my dog now. This is going to be the best Christmas ever girl.

Narrator: Well, it looks like a happy ending and a Merry Christmas for Crappy and the Old Man. Tune in next week for another adventure of Crappy, A Faithful Dog.

Here’s my recording of Crappy.

I was talking recently about the new Christmas special with my friend Bryan, who was the Dead From The Neck Up producer and who did some voices in last year’s special. I was getting stuck for ideas and we were tossing around themes that are usually used at Christmas. I could really only come up with the Nativity, Santa Claus, and Ebeneezer Scrooge. I already have the Death Row Inmate Nativity for this year and The Red Menace sketch and I couldn’t really come up with an ideal for Scrooge. We did a couple of good Scrooge parodies way back when and I couldn’t think of a new version that would fit this year. I went back to the Santa Claus theme after hearing a news story about a shortage of people to play Santa Claus in malls and for the Salvation Army. I thought that it would be fun to have try-outs for Santa with some very funny people giving their response and getting it wrong.

SANTA CLAUS TRY OUT

Announcer: Due to this past year’s pandemic and an aging population, your malls and street corners are desperately in need of Santa Clauses. Many of our past Santas are dead and many more are one virus away from their last ho ho ho. So, we’re putting out the call for Santas.

Coach: So you all you have to do is laugh. Let me hear your best ho ho ho.

Fat Albert: Hey Hey Hey.

Coach: Next!

Announcer: Can you ring a bell? Are you fat? Are you jolly?

Coach: Okay, it’s simple. Repeat after me. Ho ho ho.

Ralph Kramden: Hardy Har Har.

Coach: Not even close.

Announcer: We’re desperate for Santas. Do you think you have what it takes?

Coach: Okay, when you hear the music, give out with the ho ho ho

Muttley: Heh heh heh heh

Coach: You’re fired.

Muttley: Curses

Announcer: Do you have a beard? Do you have a twinkle in your eye? Well, we don’t care, as long as you have a steady pulse.

Coach: Okay, let’s try this again. You know the line, ho ho ho.

Witchiepoo: Cackle laugh.

Coach: That’s it. I quit!

Announcer: So why not try out for Santa today? Children are counting on you.

Extra Announcer: Perverts, preverts, convicts and Trump supporters need not apply.

I’ve done a tentative mix of this sketch with some of the celebrity character voices from over the internet. I hope to tighten it up when we do the full version.

I’m not sure I like the Yo Yo Yo at the end unless I can find a better version.

I’ve tried writing another sketch but it hasn’t worked out yet. I am thinking about including one of the stray Stan The Welcome Mat Man sketches I’ve recorded by myself over the past few years. Here’s one from 2014:

Here’s another one I did in 2018:

I’m also thinking of padding the show with one of the sketches from our 1994 Christmas special. I really liked this one because it showed that Scrooge was prepared to change in his own way and in his own sweet time:

The rest of the show might have a canned comedy Christmas if I can find one and maybe a festive comedy song. Here’s hoping the actual show turns out better than my run-throughs.

Tags:Christmas, Comedy, Dead From The Neck Up, False Ducks, Scott Henderson, Stephen Dafoe
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WHAT’S SO FUNNY?

Wednesday, July 28th, 2021

There are many things that strike me as funny. I’m a bit of an odd duck when it comes to comedy. I actually wanted to write a book called “Odd Ducks.” It was going to be part of a trilogy of books with the word “Duck” in the title but none of them would be related. About 20+ years ago I wrote my novel “False Ducks”, which is unpublished, about a radio sketch comedy group. You can read samples of it at http://www.falseducks.com/false/falsies.html. I started a second book entitled “Odd Ducks” about a woman who accidentally gets left behind on the highway when her husband stops at a rest-stop on the highway and drives away without checking to see that his wife, sleeping in the back seat, is no longer there. It’s based on a true incident. Here’s what I wrote on it:

ODD DUCKS

by Scott Henderson

If Donald had only kept on driving, if Donald had only stopped at a full service gas station, if Donald hadn’t had the Big Gulp at the last rest stop, if Donald had have approached his car from the rear, if Donald hadn’t been so hell bent on getting back on the road, if Donald had have taken a cursory glance in the back, if Aunt Maisie hadn’t dropped dead in the middle Sunday dinner, if the new job didn’t pay so much, if Clara hadn’t insisted on sleeping in the back, if Jenny had have exhibited a little more teenage angst and insisted on the back seat for herself and further if Jenny had have given a rat’s ass about anyone else for even one moment, if Clara had a stronger bladder, if Clara had have left some note or sign to flag Donald’s attention that she left the car shortly after him then maybe, just maybe, and still that was a long shot outside chance, then maybe none of what followed would have followed.

Thursday 5:45 a.m.

Clara managed to exit the Curly Q just in time to see Donald drive away. She had been left behind.

The Previous Sunday 8:14 p.m.

Clara let the phone ring 3 times before picking it up. If Donald had been home he would have barked at her after the first and she’d have answered it. Donald hated hearing the phone go past one ring. “It might be important,” he’d say. “Someone might have died or something,” he’d add. His mind ran that way.

Donald was out though. He’d gone for a walk. Oh, he didn’t fool Clara, he was smoking again. He always smoked when things changed. Donald was like a smoke stack when he was nervous and he was nervous when the routine of his life was altered in any way.

Donald was up for a new job. He was being considered for the position of Media Relations person for Dynaco Nuclear Electric. It was a big step up from Safety Engineer but that’s what the bigwigs at Dynaco wanted. They wanted someone who knew what they were talking about and could translate that knowledge into a well meaning but believable pack of lies about the better quality of life to be derived from Nuclear energy. In other words Dynaco wanted a good liar.

Jenny would have answered the phone if it had been for her. The fact that it rang more than once meant it wasn’t for Jenny. Camped out in her room, Jenny would have rolled over to glance at the call display screen and then just as quickly would have rolled back in total disinterest. Jenny was 15, that was the only explanation necessary.

Clara tossed aside the book she’d been reading and picked up the phone.

“Hello,” she said in her best someone might have died answering voice.

“Clara?”, the voice on the other end asked before continuing. “Aunt Maisie’s dead. She dropped dead right before dessert. It’s awful. There’s gravy everywhere. She took a seizure and fell right over. There’s gravy everywhere. And I’d baked such a beautiful cake too. Right out of Cottage Living magazine.”

“Abbey,” Clara broke in. “Slow down. What happened?”

“Well, there’s gravy everywhere if that gives you a clue,” Abbey continued. “We were eating dinner, you know, a nice family dinner, mom and dad over and they drop by with Aunt Maisie, well I don’t mind because she is family and she does have money, but to drop dead right before dessert and with such a nice cake waiting straight form Cottage Living Magazine.” Abbey paused for a breath.

During the brief intermission Clara switched the phone to her other ear. Abbey was not only talking quickly she was stuck on a higher volume.

“Well, the ambulance attendants said it must have been an aneurism or a burst blood vessel or some little thing but Albert thinks she choked on a lump in the gravy but that can’t be because I strained the gravy. You remember how mom always strained the gravy and we said mom you don’t need to strain the gravy but she kept on straining it, well now I strain the gravy because it makes it smoother and I guess mom was right and Albert was wrong. Watch the gravy, don’t track it all over the carpet Albert!” Abbey was shouting this last piece of direction to someone else.

“Abbey,” Clara tried to interject.

“Don’t worry Clara I’ll save the cake for the funeral. It’ll keep for a few days. You will come though won’t you? I’d hate to have such a nice cake go to waste on just Albert and I. Albert doesn’t really need it you know, the poor dear, he’s gained fifteen pounds since last Christmas. Nothing, Albert dear, I’m just talking to Clara about poor Aunt Maisie. Mind that gravy Albert” Abbey said aside. “You wouldn’t know it but there are beets in the cake. That’s what it is. It’s a Chocolate Beet Cake right from this month’s Cottage Living Magazine. Of course they’re canned beets, you have to have the syrup to make the cake. You are coming aren’t you Clara?” Abbey halted abruptly.

Clara switched the phone back to her original ear. Abbey was starting to give her a headache too.

“How’s mom?”, Clara thought to ask. Aunt Maisie was actually Great Aunt Maisie because she was their mother’s aunt.

“As well as can be expected. Oh I know she’s disappointed about the cake and I’m sure she feels responsible. After all she was the one who practically dragged poor Aunt Maisie here tonight. You know I was just saying to Albert after she died that she didn’t look at all well. But you didn’t say if you were coming Clara.” Nothing got past Abbey.

“To the funeral?”

“Of course, I didn’t mean for dinner. It’s too late for that and even if you did come I don’t think it would be appropriate to eat the cake.”

“When?”

“After the funeral of course. Everyone will be absolutely famished. They always are at funerals. I’ll have to make some sandwiches and you can bring that marvellous potato salad with the peas in it. Better plan on a dozen people. It will be a small intimate luncheon. We won’t invite just everyone. I only have the one bathroom downstairs and I certainly don’t want everyone traipsing through the house to the one on the second level. I just wont’ have it.”

“When’s the funeral I mean?” Clara was trying hard to keep pace with her sister.

“Oh I don’t know, what’s good for you? Please don’t say Tuesday though because I have to have the carpets cleaned and I know on such short notice I’m not going to be able to get anyone in here until Tuesday. Does gravy stain? Wednesday’s probably best but definitely not Thursday. Thursday, Albert and I have counselling.” Abbey lowered her voice to a whisper before continuing. “Sex, Clara. I insisted on the sessions. Albert simply doesn’t want to do…well you know, not that I want to either really but we should be doing something I suppose, after all we are married and there are the children and we wouldn’t want them to grow up strange because Albert and I weren’t perfect role models.”

“Abbey, I think you better let mom and dad make the arrangements for Aunt Maisie.” Clara couldn’t possibly imagine what was going through Abbey’s head. Here she was babbling on about her petty little life while everyone else was probably very upset over Aunt Maisie. Clara didn’t enjoy conversations with her sister and any kind of visit was always strenuous.

Abbey and Albert lived in Niagara Falls. It was far enough away from Ottawa, where Clara and Donald lived, which was alright by Clara and even more alright by Donald. Donald could not stand Abbey and could tolerate Albert only somewhat. They did not spend holidays together. Since Clara and Donald had married they’d only visited a handful of times.

“I hope mother’s cousin Dillard isn’t invited to the funeral. He’s absolutely uneducated and that wife of his has to be at least ten years younger than him. What was he thinking taking such a young bride? I mean really Abbey, you would think the man could find someone more his own age. Well at least she has manners which is more than I can say for mother’s cousin Dillard. Then there’s those twins of theirs. Unmarried at their age and absolutely no good looks to speak of. That’s totally unacceptable in two bachelors still living at home in their early forties. There’s some genetic flaw somewhere that’s married into the family. Oh I just dread the thought of mother’s cousin Dillard anywhere near me.”

Clara thought back to her last visit with her sister. Albert and Abbey had stopped by on their way to Montreal for a convention of Amusement Museum Managers. That was Albert’s occupation. He managed two very successful tourist museums in Niagara Falls and had been positively written up in several of the well circulated tourism magazines including Cottage Living Magazine.

On that trip Albert and Abbey had only been in the house twenty minutes before Donald had to feign some excuse which allowed him to nip down the block and have a cigarette. Clara always knew when Donald was smoking and she didn’t blame him a bit when it came to visits with Albert and Abbey. Clara would have indulged herself if she smoke but instead she would usually sneak a drink during a bathroom break in the visit and would come back that much more pleasant to her sister and her husband.

And Abbey’s children were no better. Clara wondered why Abbey went on about mother’s cousin Dillard’s twin boys when she had twin terrors of her own. Not that Abbey saw them as anything other than angels. “Fallen angels, is more like it,” Donald would always says later. “Those two brats of hers would give Satan a run for his money.” Donald always exaggerated but in this case he was closer to the truth.

Alexander and Andrew were ten going on twenty-five to life. Arson, extortion, theft, profanity and cruelty toward animals were some of their more minor vices. They’d never been convicted by their mother however.

“And the way they dress. None of them have any fashion sense. There’s more to life than denim. I just won’t have them at the funeral is all and certainly not at my home. The Chocolate Beet cake right out of Cottage Living Magazine would not be safe around them.”

And Alex and Andy were fat. Abbey always said well fed but they were still fat. Spoiled rotten on candy and treats. Bribery no doubt for good behavior; promises never kept by the twins.

“And their car. Can you imagine that thing in the funeral procession? I would die. I would just die.”

Clara cradled the phone between her ear and her shoulder and rubbed awkwardly at her temples. It was then that Donald walked in.

Clara immediately smelled the distinct aroma of peppermints and cigarettes.

“Is that for me?” he asked, gesturing with a free hand toward the phone. In his other hand was a bag of peppermints and a magazine.

“It’s Abbey.”

“Who’s died this time?”

Clara just stared at him. This wasn’t unusual for Donald. He always said that Abbey only called when someone died or that she wanted to boast about some contribution that Albert had made to the betterment of Amusement Museums everywhere. Actually Abbey had never called before about someone dying but Donald and Clara had tired of Albert’s unending string of new exhibits that always, according to Abbey, rocked the establishment of Amusement Museums right down to their wax foundations.

“Aunt Masie died, right in the middle of Sunday dinner.”

“And there’s an article in there too about Albert’s new Hindenberg exhibit. Albert says this is the one that will put them over the top. He says this one will rock the establishment right down to their wax foundations.” Abbey had switched topics again in that moment she had spoken to Donald.

“Your Great Aunt Masie? God, what happened?” Donald was striking the magazine against the side of his leg. He always did this when caught off guard with a rolled up magazine in his hand.

“I don’t know,” Clara said. “Something about an aneurysm and gravy and now something about Albert’s new Hindenberg exhibit.”

Donald stopped striking the magazine against his leg and tossed it into Clara’s lap. “Yeah, I know. It’s in the new Cottage Living magazine I bought you down at the store. There’s also an interesting recipe in there for a Chocolate Beet Cake we should try.”

———————

Chapter Two

Thursday 5:45 a.m.

Clara managed to exit the Curly Q just in time to see Donald drive away. She had been left behind.

Clara did not break into a mad run, nor flail her arms about wildly, nor call frantically after Donald. She just stood there blinking…and wondering. Wondering if maybe she shouldn’t break into a mad run, or flail her arms about wildly, or call frantically after Donald. By the time she realized a combination of all three was best, it was too late. Donald and the car were already out of sight.

Clara just stood there blinking. And then very slowly she began to rub her eyes and tried to wake herself up. This had always worked before. She remembered times like this, not being left behind at a Curly Q on the highway, but times when she knew instinctively she was asleep and that if she tried hard enough she could wake herself up but that when she woke up she was always disappointed to learn later that she hadn’t really been awake and that she had only dreamed she had managed to wake herself up. This was like those times, she thought, except she was at a Curly Q on the highway and Donald had left her behind.

Rubbing her eyes did not help. And she did not wake up. She decided she must really be awake and that the logical thing to do was to tell someone she had been stranded here at the Curly Q.

So Clara walked up to the Curly Q drive-through menu sign and said in clear voice “I’ve been left behind here at the Curly Q”, and without thinking she added “and a Curly Q Dodger, please.”

Several seconds passed before the menu barked at her in a barely audible but clearly disinterested voice. “Welcome to the Curly Q, home of the Dodger, may I take your order?”

Clara blinked again but with resolution repeated herself. “Yes, I’ve just been left behind,” and again without thinking, “and a Curly Q Dodger, please.”

“The grill closed at 5:30. Will there be anything else?”

Again Clara blinked. That’s odd, she thought, the menu doesn’t say anything about the grill closing at 5:30. She peered closely, blinking, at the picture of the Curly Q Dodger. It looked like all of the pictures on the menu except that on top it seemed to have something that looked suspiciously like cheese without clearly resembling cheese.

“Your sign doesn’t say the grill closes at 5:30.” Clara spoke clearly into a small mesh hole that looked like a place where you spoke into if you wanted to order something or question why the menu didn’t say anything about the grill closing at 5:30 in the morning.

The voice spoke again, in another barely audible but clearly disinterested voice, from the small mesh hole where orders were taken or complaints was lodged. “The grill closes at 5:30 to begin preparation for the breakfast menu.”

Clara blinked and glanced around at the huge sign and found the small breakfast menu printed on the right.

“Okay then, I’ll have a Curly Q Breakfast Dodger,” Clara said in a very determined voice, “and I’ve been left behind and need to use your phone.” Clara wasn’t sure whom she should call. She just wanted out of the drive-through and back into her car.

The disembodied voice of the mesh hole droned again. “The breakfast menu is not available until six a.m. Will there be anything else?”

Clara poked at the mesh hole. She wasn’t sure if it was that the grill had closed at 5:30 and that the sign did not state that the grill closed at 5:30 or that the breakfast menu wasn’t available until six or that she had failed to noticed the small letters that stated that the breakfast menu was only served between six and ten or that Donald had left her behind but she was beginning to feel very upset. “You don’t understand, I’ve been left behind and I don’t really care if your grill closed at 5:30 or that the breakfast menu isn’t available until six. I want to get back in my car and I want the largest coffee you’re allowed to sell by law!” She really did want the largest coffee they were allowed to sell by law.

“Thank you, please pull ahead.” Did Clara detect even more disinterest in the barely audible voice from the small mesh hole?

Clara walked around the sign, following the arrow markings on the pavement, and up to a sliding window.

The window slid upwards and a young girl not much older than Jenny stared straight ahead at something on a computerized screen and said, in that clearly disinterested voice, “that’ll be a dollar thirty-five.” Then the young girl turned, looked at Clara, and blinked. “I’m sorry, the drive-through is for vehicles only. The restaurant is open for pedestrian convenience.” The window slid closed. Obviously at the Curly Q, a pedestrian in the drive-through was not an uncommon occurrence.

I also wanted to write a story called “Peeking Duck.” I know, you’re thinking that I meant to say “Peking Duck” about the food delicacy but I spelled mine to reflect the story. It was going to be about a filmmaker who goes undercover with a homeless person and loses himself in that world. Thus the title, “Peeking Duck.” I thought I had never written anything on that but I recently found a synopsis I had put together:

Peeking Duck

This is a story idea about a documentary film maker who films a street guy named Larry he used to go to school with. Written in first person. The twist is at the end another documentary maker goes out to film a street guy that turns out to be the film maker. “Standing next to Larry was the ugliest guy I’d ever seen with no neck. His head was attached directly to his shoulders. If he hadn’t been standing there, Larry would have been the ugliest guy I’d ever seen.”

Maybe someday, I’ll get back to these two stories.

I had been struggling to come up with an idea for a blahg this week when I came across a printed error that struck me as very humorous and inspired this blahg. As I have noted before, I post daily THIS DATE IN SINATRA HISTORY logs to other Sinatra fans. One of today’s entries was “July 23rd, 1992 Sands, Atlantic City, New Jersey.” I usually try to include clippings of reviews or advertisements but today I found the following notice that inspired me for this blahg:

In case you didn’t catch it, Frank Sinatra is billed as a Comedian. Yes, Frank Sinatra, Comedian, with such great jokes as “Did You Hear The One About The Traveling Salesman?”, “Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road,” and “What Time Is It When An Elephant Sits On Your Watch?” In fact, some of Frank Sinatra’s song titles could be the basis for comedy routines: “Everything Happens To Me,” “That’s Life,” “Somethin’ Stupid,” and “How Little We Know.” Of course you might get some traction out of a routine called “My Way.” So why was there this mistake in billing? If I expand the original advertisement, you will see that there was someone else appearing at the Sands on that date in 1992:

Elayne Boosler was a top comedian in the 1980s and 1990s. I think she was the one that was supposed to be billed as Comedian at the Sands. Here’s an early appearance of her on the Merv Griffin show:

She’s no Sinatra but I found her funny.

I want to share a couple of pictures with you. These are shots of a big shelf of DVDs I have in my home, a smaller shelf next to it, and some items that hang on my wall.

The Sons of the Desert poster was given to me by my daughter Emaily and the Babes In Toyland is a framed LP of the soundtrack. The bottom pencil and charcoal picture, drawn by my daughter Abbie, is of Harold Lloyd hanging from a clock in the movie “Safety Last.” I also house my friend Bryan’s DVD collection in other parts of my house but this big shelf is really the center of my collection. If you look closely you can see DVD collections of Charley Chase, Max Linder, Laurel and Hardy, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Harry Langdon, Charlie Chaplin, Edgar Kennedy, The Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Our Gang/Little Rascals, Roscoe Arbuckle, Thelma Todd/Patsy Kelly, Thelma Todd/Zasu Pitts, Jerry Lewis, Bob Hope, Eddie Cantor, and great comedies directed by Preston Sturges. The smaller shelf also has some comedy DVDs of Jerry Lewis and The Three Stooges. These people are what I call funny and some are what I call geniuses. I often re-watch many of these DVDs because they hold up well and entertain better than most “so-called” comedies today.

If I tried to do a blahg honoring these great comics and legends, I am sure I wouldn’t do any justice. I thought I would share some samples of video and audio of these people who make me laugh. There is no particular order to my tribute but lately I’ve been watching some Laurel and Hardy shorts and movies. For a while most of Laurel and Hardy’s earlier classic material was not available in North America. There were poor versions and colorized material but I had to purchase a box set from the United Kingdom:

This beautiful 21 disk set contains many of their early feature films as well as all of the silent and short films they performed in together. There are some extras of colorized versions of shorts as well as foreign language versions where Laurel and Hardy spoke their lines in German and Spanish. There has been a box set of their material restored and released in North America as “Laurel and Hardy: The Essential Collection” which only has two features and their sound shorts. Another set, “Laurel & Hardy: The Definitive Restorations” has 18 shorts and two features. So, for a good deal the UK box contains more. Of course, you’ll need a region-free DVD player or find a hack to make your DVD player region-free. There are also North American releases of later films they made at Fox and I own those as well. It’s not easy being a completist.

I have a few records in my collection that contain routines by Laurel and Hardy but on one record is the routine that was put out on a 78 rpm record in 1932 to coincide with their first trip to the United Kingdom. Someone has posted it on YouTube:

In the same year, 1932, Laurel and Hardy made the only short for which they were awarded an Academy Award, “The Music Box”:

Laurel and Hardy were not only funny but they were true friends to the end. Even their worst films have fun moments and are better than the foul language filled toilet humor movies we get today. By the way, my favorite Laurel and Hardy feature is 1936’s “Our Relations.” Stan and Ollie have identical twin brothers named Bert and Alf that they haven’t seen in years and presume are dead. Unfortunately Bert and Alf have been at sea and they’ve landed in Stan and Ollie’s town. Hilarity ensues with mistaken identities all around until they meet up at the end of the film.

This past week I have taken time out at work twice to watch a couple of Our Gang/Little Rascal shorts. I receive updates from https://www.classicflix.com/ and they are currently working on restorations of these fun shorts. Volume 3 will be released in October and the email I received had a link to watch some of the restoration of the 1932 short “Pooch.” I liked the little bit they had to offer so much that I had to go to YouTube and watch a full version.

The next day I had to watch 1932’s “Free Wheeling”. My daughter Abbie and I watched all of the Our Gang/Little Rascal sound shorts and we both loved the really young “Spanky” character in “Free Wheeling.” The gang have a donkey operated taxi and Spanky and Jacquie Lyn want a ride. They have no money so they decide to shake down a monkey for some change. It’s hilarious because the monkey is just there and they approach it and ask it if it has any money. I think there was a sleeping Organ Grinder under a tree but it’s hard to tell. The children then begin to literally shake it down for loose change. Quite often, Abbie or I will say to the other “Hey Monkey, got any money?” The line might not be accurate but it still makes us laugh.

By the way, the little girl, Jacquie Lyn, costarred with Laurel and Hardy in the very funny “Pack Up Your Troubles.” There is a very interesting story of what happened after she left Hal Roach studios. This is from her Wikipedia entry:

Lyn’s short career at Hal Roach Studios ended when her stepfather demanded more money for her services. She grew up, married, changed her name to Jacquelyn Woll, and was not heard from until the early 1990s. Woll’s son had purchased a Laurel & Hardy videotape for her; the tape was introduced by Stan Laurel’s daughter Lois, who related that Laurel & Hardy fans worldwide were searching for the whereabouts of Jacquie Lyn. Woll contacted The Sons of the Desert, the official Laurel & Hardy fanclub, and was reintroduced to the public, becoming an honorary member of the organization.

Jacquie Lyn passed away in 2002 at the age of 73.

It’s funny how some things tie together. Jacquie Lyn tied into Laurel and Hardy and so do the next two comics. The first is the Master of the Slow Burn, Edgar Kennedy. Kennedy was part of Hal Roach’s stock of players so he often showed up as an adult or police officer in both Our Gang/Little Rascals shorts as well as Laurel and Hardy shorts and features. There’s a great book about Edgar Kennedy called “Master of The Slow Burn” by Bill Cassara.

This is an insightful and invaluable book on Edgar Kennedy with an extensive filmography. Some of my favorite Edgar Kennedy shorts are part of his “Average Man” series that ran from 1930 to 1948. In all there are 103 RKO “Average Man” comedy shorts and I’ve been slowly trying to track as many as I can. Alpha Video put out six volumes of the shorts and recently they’ve started a new “Rarest Comedies of Edgar Kennedy” with two volumes of rare shorts with most being from the “Average Man” series. The Average Man series had two formats. The first had Edgar Kennedy with a wife played by Florence Lake, a meddling mother-in-law played by Dot Farley, and a lazy/scheming brother-in-law first played by William Eugene and then by Jack Rice:

The second format featured Edgar Kennedy with a wife played by Vivian Oakland and a scheming Father-In-Law by Bill Franey:

One of the earlier shorts in the series to view online is “Camping Out” from 1931. William Eugene is featured in this one as the Brother-In-Law:

An example of the Average Man short with Vivian Oakland and Bill Franey is 1940’s “Sunk By The Census”:

There is the odd Average Man short in which neither Florence Lake nor Vivian Oakland played his wife. This didn’t happen that often and in fact, a young Irene Ryan, who played “Granny” on “The Beverly Hillbillies” played Edgar’s wife in two shorts. Get the book, find the shorts, watch what you can. Some are considered lost or maybe not found but quite a few are on YouTube and the aforementioned DVDs. There’s even a group trying to find and restore all of the Average Man Shorts. You can check them out here: https://www.fesfilms.com/edgar.html.

Jumping ahead to “Charley Chase” and referencing his early character, “Jimmy Jump,” there’s a great box set of early Charley Chase films put out in 2009 by VCI with the title “Becoming Charley Chase.”

Charley Chase was born Charles Joseph Parrott in 1893. Eventually he would change his name to Charley Chase. The earliest shorts in the “Becoming Charley Chase” set range from 1915 to 1925. The set included shorts in which he was the star and some he directed. Charley Chase directed some of the Our Gang/Little Rascals shorts and even directed a short of his own entitled “On The Wrong Trek” from 1936 in which Laurel and Hardy make a cameo:

I like Charley Chase in both his silent and sound shorts. Sadly, there was no booklet included with “Becoming Charley Chase” but you could download it online. I’m glad I did because it’s no longer available to download. If you buy this set, let me know and I’ll send you a PDF of the booklet.

There are quite a few collections of Charley Chase’s sound shorts. The most recent is “Charley Chase: At Hal Roach” with two volumes already released and a third due in August of this year (2021). Volume 3 includes the last set of shorts he made at Hal Roach studios from 1934 to 1936. Chase would make his last shorts from 1937 to 1940 at Columbia Studios and these have also been released in two volumes on the Sony Home Pictures label. Sadly, Charley Chase would pass away in 1940 at the age of 46. Here’s another fine example of Charley Chase’s comedy with his 1937 Columbia short, “The Big Squirt.”

I could go on and on about my DVD collection or the comics and comedians I enjoy watching or hearing. Some of my past blahgs mention some of these artists. You can check out HAVE YOU READ ANY GOOD BOOKS LATELY?, R.I.P. JERRY LEWIS 2017, or even REMEMBERING PHYLLIS DILLER; THANK YOU BEN AFFLECK. I might talk about some of my other favorites in future blahgs but the title of this blahg is “What’s So Funny?” I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention again my own dealings in a radio sketch comedy show in the 1990s called “Dead From The Neck Up” with my friend Steve Dafoe and producer and occasional writer and voice talent, Bryan Dawkins. Before we were “Dead From The Neck Up”, we tooled around with the title “Two Guys In Short Pants.” Here’s our debut show under that title:

We had quite a few funny sketches and these two are comedy commercials for “Two Guys Proxy Service”:

Two Guys Proxy Service # 1:

Two Guys Proxy Service # 2:

Of course we sometimes leaned toward the bizare in such sketches as “The Man Who Married A Balloon”:

Or our parody of “Batman” known as “Hatman”:

I think some of our best sketches were actually commercials. Here are a couple more examples:

EATAWAY LAUNDRY SOAP:

KENNEDYS FOR GUN SAFETY:

Bryan played John Kennedy with Steve playing Robert Kennedy and Teddy Kennedy. I was doing my older Ronald Regan imitation.

Our show lasted about three seasons with three Christmas specials from 1993, 1994, and 1995 and many can be heard here: http://www.falseducks.com/dead/readdead.html. Last year for Christmas 2020 we recorded new material for the first time in 25 years and we edited together our “The Dead From The Neck Up 25th Anniversary Covid 19 Quarantine Special”. Here’s a video/audio of the remastered show:

In our later seasons we got into longer sketch stories such as “The Big D” and “10W-30, The Alvin Parsley Story.” I haven’t got around to digitizing those but when I do, I’ll update this blahg to include those minor classics. I’ll leave you with the only known videos of us in the studio:

Now that’s what I call “funny!”

Tags:Charley Chase, Dead From The Neck Up, Edgar Kennedy, False Ducks, Harry Chapin, Laurel and Hardy, Our Gang, Scott Henderson
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WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? – PART 2

Monday, June 28th, 2021

Unlike Mel Brooks’ “History of the World, Part 1,” some things having to do with the world do get a sequel. The day before Christmas in 2012 I wrote a blahg with the title WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? and thought I would not need to revisit the theme. Little did I know that almost 9 years later I would be thinking about those words again…or rather uttering them out loud. I thought it was time to ask the question again and to see if my solutions have held up or if I have better ones to offer.

My blahg last time had to do with the Sandy Hook massacre and other world issues as well as the fact that someone had hacked my website and inserted malicious code. Here’s what I offered up as solutions at that time:

So what can we do to make this world a better place? Speak out! Everyone has an opinion and a voice and it’s your duty to speak out against injustice and stupidity. Many voices raised in song have done better to heal than those who sit at the back of the room and just mouth the lyrics…The last time I checked, we are all free to be. Free to be whatever we wanted, believe what we wanted, worship how we wanted, love how we wanted. You get the message…Look at your loved ones, your relatives, your friends, and tell me you wouldn’t want more time with them if it meant giving up your stubborn opinions. I think we all know the answer to that. Let’s move on…There are some good things in this world. There is love and family and laughter and we need to embrace it during these troubling times. I don’t want to be preachy but sometimes we forget to think of all we are blessed with.

I could go on listing all of the problems in the world and war and death and Covid 19 but I think everyone is tired of hearing about it. I’d rather focus on the solutions.

News flash. I don’t have any solutions. I thought love, laughter, and happiness were the cure-alls but many people don’t have those in their lives. Sometimes when I’m looking for an answer, I turn to music. You know a lot of my blahgs are full of music and I thought I would look at some songs that give inspiration or hope or maybe offer up some suggestions that might lead to solutions.

I really like the artist, Sara Groves. I discovered her from the soundtrack to the movie “The Ultimate Gift.” If you want to see a really inspirational movie, check it out. I’m not going to use her song “Something Changed”, from that movie, in this scenario because it’s more a religious experience and one person’s religion should be that one person’s religion. I’ve been thinking more lately about her song “Roll To The Middle.” Essentially the song is about a couple who just had a huge fight and the singer is wondering how they will get beyond the hurt. Part of the lyrics go “All the complicated wars, they end pretty simple. Here when the lights go down, we roll to the middle.” Rolling to the middle is where we find compromise and begin to heal. Here’s the video to that song:

I’m going to be a little sappy for a moment. “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong is uplifting as well. It’s not about “What’s Wrong With The World?” but more about What’s Right. I won’t go on about it but will instead offer up a live performance of Louis singing the song. Not only is the song infectious but Louis’ smile could melt a hardened heart down to butter.

I’m going to sneak The Weepies in here. Readers of my blahgs, if there are any, know that I’m a huge fan of Steven Tannen and Deb Talan, husband and wife team, better known as The Weepies. The following video is for the song “The World Spins Madly On,” which is true but it fits the theme.

The song that cheers me the most is their song, “I Was Made For Sunny Days.” I used to hear this song piped into a local thrift store and found myself singing along. I’ve seen The Weepies twice in concert but I can’t remember if they sang this song. At the core is the theme that sunny days are better than grey days.

I could go on filling this blahg with songs that mean well and mean a lot to me but we might disagree on some of these. The last song is one I think we can all agree on. It’s just fun and it was part of our culture and our history. If you don’t like the Monkees then look away but it doesn’t matter because they’re too busy singing to put anybody down.

Okay, okay, just one more. I know you didn’t ask for it but if I’m going to put forward one more World song then it has to be the one that’s so basic in message that we shouldn’t forget. It’s a Coca Cola commercial and I’m not a fan of the drink but the song “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing” still packs a punch.

The world is full of hate and fear and confusion and depression and loathing and terrorism and nepotism and nimbyism (look it up) and shouting and crying and living and dying. But those are all words. Chop up the words and they’re just letters and those letters spell better things like loving and hope and resilience and caring and trust and future. Try it for yourself. Take all the bad words and twist them around to make good ones.

I was looking for something to end this blahg with that wasn’t a song. I looked back through my own writing, even further back than the original blahg WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?, and I found a poem that I wrote on March 25th, 1986. Surprisingly, it’s about taking apart words to find an all purpose cure. I don’t know what that cure is or what you’ll use it for but if you put in the effort to make positive change then the result is its own reward. Try not to read too much into the poem. I was 23 at the time and the following year I would be married and on another March 25th, being 1994, my son would be born. Take apart the poem if you like and reuse the words. Kinder words spread thicker than all the negative comments stacked together.

AN ALL PURPOSE CURE

Don’t think I
don’t care about
all the world’s illnesses
because I do and
I want to do something about them.

It’s not all physical
I know
but then all the answers
aren’t either.
It’s not all broken bodies
and worn out organs
and dead tissues
but then all the cures
aren’t whole.

I think I’ve got a cure
that’ll better any problem
but it involves some work
and I’m not sure it
might not cure things
you want left as are.

If you could chop up this poem
and swallow it
letter by letter
maybe it would spell out
and all-purpose cure
and surprise you with
the good it can do

In this poem
is every letter you’d need
to help you
and if it could survive
minor digestion
then maybe you’ll be alright

I know it’s a chance
but just being alive
is one of those
and who knows
if it might not give you something to believe in;
but that’s relying on
intelligence being a disease – q.z.x.

Tags:False Ducks, Louis Armstrong, Poetry, Sara Groves, Scott Henderson, The Monkees, The Weepies, What is wrong with the world, World Peace
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Posts Tagged ‘False Ducks’

SINATRA: SYLVAN BEACH TO CRYSTAL BEACH. AND WHAT ABOUT SCHENECTADY?

As you know, and I have mentioned in previous blahgs like “Down A Rabbit Hole With Linda Keene“, I send out a daily post about what Sinatra was doing for every calendar day. In the Linda Keene blahg I had talked about a post I made for April 17th. On that date I posted the following:

Note, that in brackets, I had posted what I thought was the complete run of their engagement at the World’s Fair from August 19th to September 2nd. The September 1st and 2nd dates are what began to be called into question. One of the members of our Sinatra group emailed me the following:

Wondering where you found a listing for 9/2 ? Did not see anything in The Times and there was no listing of a remote on that Saturday night. The band had a date outside of Buffalo on 9/3 and then on to Chicago. A gruelling bus trip in 1939 and they had played 14 consecutive days at The Fair.

Back in 2021, we began to note a conflict regarding September 1st, 1939. Here’s what we listed and below that are some details of the mystery.

1939 Sylvan Beach, New York (One Nighter) Harry James and His Orchestra with Jack Palmer, Connie Hayes, and Frank Sinatra

Here were some details I provided at the time.

1939 New York World’s Fair, Fountain Lake Bandshell (August 19 – September 2) Harry James and His Orchestra with Frank Sinatra Here is the listing of James at the World’s Fair (New York Daily News September 1)

But also there’s also adverts for him at Sylvan Beach (Syracuse Herald-Journal, August 30)

Adding to this mystery was the fact that Harry James was also listed at the New York World’s Fair on September 2nd, 1939, his supposed closing night, as well an engagement at The Casino in Bemus Point, New York. Here’s what the September 2nd listing looked like:

Here were our details about the two conflicting engagements:

Here is yet another September 1939 mystery: Here is a listing for James at the Worlds Fair on this date (New York Daily News – September 2)

But also there are multiple ads for them at Bemus Point (Warren Times Mirror/Dunkirk Evening Observer/The Kane Republican, August 30; Warren Times Mirror August 31)

So, the question was how could Harry James be at the New York World’s Fair on September 1st and 2nd but also be at Sylvan Beach on the 1st and Bemus Point on the second?

When the question was first asked of me about the September 2nd closing date and its accuracy, I of course set out to defend my listing for the New York World’s Fair by offering more evidence. Here’s what I posted to everyone:

The following is from the New York Daily News, Sat, Sep 2, 1939:

Are we any closer to a consensus on September 2, 1939? The evidence for Beemus Point Casino is compelling but then we also have the listing from the Daily News that James and company were still at the World’s Fair.

This is the list for programs on September 3, 1939 at the World’s Fair

Note that Hal Kemp is in the Band Shell.

Compare that to the September 2nd, 1939 listing:

Note the September 2nd, 1939 listing has the Bunny Berrigan Orchestra at the Fountain Lake Band Shell at 7:30 but there’s no mention where Harry James was playing but the listing below from September 1st has Harry James in the amusement area:

We do know that Harry James was billed at Olcott Beach on September 3rd.

Looking at all the articles and news and such, I’m inclined to believe that Harry James and ensemble were not at the World’s Fair in New York after August 31st. That would make the following itinerary more likely to be true:

September 1, 1939 Russell’s Danceland, Sylvan Point, NY

September 2, 1939 Casino, Bemus Point, NY

September 3, 1939 Olcott Beach, NY

If you assume that Harry James finished on August 31st in New York then looking at the map below, it was quite easy to drive to Sylvan Beach for September 1st and then straight across and down to Bemus Point for the 2nd and then up to Olcott Beach for September 3

One of our Sinatra group members took up the challenge and reached out to someone in Bemus Point. Here was his post about it:

I’ve always believed in going to the source when all else fails.

This morning I called the casino in Bemus Point, N.Y. A very polite gentleman listened to my question and then told me to hold on while he checked their records. The casino has the history of all the name acts that played there in the 1930s and 40s. The James band played a one-nighter on 9-2-39.

Well, that confirmed September 2nd, 1939 but what about September 1st, 1939 at Sylvan Beach? Here was my post after hearing confirmation about Bemus Point:

I checked the same newspaper Syracuse Herald Journal that advertised Dorsey at Sylvan Beach in 1941 and found they were advertising Harry James at Sylvan Beach on September 1st , 1939 as tonight only:

Would be odd to advertise as Tonight Only and Harry James wasn’t there. I’m still looking for any other reference.

Eventually, one of our group, the same person who reached out to Bemus Point, resolved the issue with the following post:

Hi Philers,

I contacted the historian of an area that includes Sylvan Beach, N.Y.

Scott was right. The band closed at the World’s Fair on 8-31-39.

They arrived in Rome, N.Y. on the afternoon of September 1st. The big hype locally was the return of Jack

Palmer. He was from Rome. James and Co. had dinner at the Grand Hotel in Rome ( name was changed to Commander Hotel

in the 1980s ). See enclosed photo.

The concert at Russell’s Danceland took place that evening. Jack Henke ( historian ) told me that a color

photo from the stage was displayed for many years at the Pancake House in Sylvan. Front and center was Jack Palmer

playing a trumpet solo. Frank was in the background ( I’ve seen the photo. Never knew the location ). Between sets the

band ate at Eddie’s. He had established the place in 1934 with his wife Phoebe. While the band was eating, she noticed

a skinny little guy was sitting out on the curb smoking. Phoebe went out and told him to come in and have something to

eat. And he did.

Now, there was a remote of the James band broadcast that evening on CBS, from 12:A.M. to 12:30. Jack

assured me that the station in Rome was able to air such a program. It is listed in the New York and Boston papers.

Here are the two images attached to the post:

So what about Crystal Beach, you may well ask. Give me a moment to finish and then you can ask. At one point after the information was posted and confirmed about Bemus Point, I posted some additional information about Sylvan Beach and another Sinatra connection:

As an aside, I was looking into Russell’s Danceland at Sylvan Beach and one website mentions that Sinatra and Dorsey played there on July 17th, 1941 but we’ve never had that in our listings. I’m going to try and run it down to confirm.

Here was the post where I detailed what I found about Tommy Dorsey at Sylvan Beach:

This is the listing I found that mentions Dorsey on July 17, 1941 at Sylvan Beach, NY:

HISTORY OF SYRACUSE MUSIC “OFFICIAL SITE” – CHAPTER 37 – MORE FAMOUS NAMES WHO PERFORMED OR SPOKE IN SYRACUSE BETWEEN 1941-1945

Feb 7-9, 1941 Louis Armstrong RKO Keith’s Theater

Here was my follow-up post about Dorsey and Sinatra at Sylvan Beach in 1941:

Here’s the ad and a small article about Dorsey at Sylvan Beach, July 17, 1941:

Note Sinatra not mentioned but the week before he was mentioned in a small article:

So, if it wasn’t for the Harry James at Sylvan Beach mystery, I probably wouldn’t have found out about Tommy Dorsey and Sinatra at Sylvan Beach in 1941.

I’ve checked Buffalo newspapers and Toronto newspapers but can’t find anything to suggest they were there. If anyone else wants to take a crack at it, let me know.

Just to give you an idea of where Crystal Beach, Ontario, is, have a look at the following map:

On a side note, I found this:

July 17, 1965

Not the original Dorsey and not Sinatra Sr. but interesting.

I also added the following post about Tommy Dorsey at Crystal Beach:

So far the only reference I can find to Tommy Dorsey at Crystal Beach was July 14th, 1955 with his brother Jimmy.

Here was another post in response to another member of our Sinatra group:

I’ve read so many posts from people who say they saw Sinatra at such and such a place with or without Dorsey and I haven’t been able to confirm most of them.

There’s a great book called:

“Let’s Dance: A Celebration of Ontario’s Dance Halls and Summer Dance Pavilions”

When I searched through the book I could find no reference to Dorsey at Crystal Beach. Strange though that if you read the section on “Summer Gardens” in Kitchen-Waterloo (pages 86-87), someone who was interviewed, recalls “I shrieked at a skinny Frank Sinatra there.”

Strange, I hadn’t heard the one before and couldn’t prove it.

Charlotte Nielsen interview with Mr. Truckenbrodt

April 23, 1985

C.N. So you worked at this Crystal Beach Ballroom as a child?

F.T. Yes, yes. Well, I worked there from twelve until I was twenty.

C.N. Could you describe it? Tell me about the bands, the people .•.

C.N. No, I don’t quite understand.

C.N. Are you saying the band played both on this boat, the Canadiana

1939 Sylvan Beach, New York (One Nighter)
Harry James and His Orchestra with Jack Palmer, Connie Hayes, and Frank Sinatra

1939 New York World’s Fair, Fountain Lake Bandshell (August 19 – September 2)
Harry James and His Orchestra with Frank Sinatra

Here is the listing of James at the World’s Fair (New York Daily News September 1)

Here is yet another September 1939 mystery:
Here is a listing for James at the Worlds Fair on this date (New York Daily News – September 2)

Compare that to the September 2^nd, 1939 listing:

Note the September 2^nd, 1939 listing has the Bunny Berrigan Orchestra at the Fountain Lake Band Shell at 7:30 but there’s no mention where Harry James was playing but the listing below from September 1^st has Harry James in the amusement area:

We do know that Harry James was billed at Olcott Beach on September 3^rd.

Looking at all the articles and news and such, I’m inclined to believe that Harry James and ensemble were not at the World’s Fair in New York after August 31^st. That would make the following itinerary more likely to be true:

If you assume that Harry James finished on August 31^st in New York then looking at the map below, it was quite easy to drive to Sylvan Beach for September 1^st and then straight across and down to Bemus Point for the 2^nd and then up to Olcott Beach for September 3

I checked the same newspaper Syracuse Herald Journal that advertised Dorsey at Sylvan Beach in 1941 and found they were advertising Harry James at Sylvan Beach on September 1^st, 1939 as tonight only:

As an aside, I was looking into Russell’s Danceland at Sylvan Beach and one website mentions that Sinatra and Dorsey played there on July 17^th, 1941 but we’ve never had that in our listings. I’m going to try and run it down to confirm.