Sorry, but this blahg is not going to be “This Is 50, Part Three.”  I think I ran that topic to ground with two parts.  Now it’s 2016 and it’s been a little over a month since my last blahg.  I thought I had better get on with it and come up with a new theme/topic.  Okay, so you asked for it, or maybe you didn’t and I’m just forcing it on you, but nonetheless this is the new blahg. This is actually number 52 in case you’re counting.

     As some of you may know, I started a new job, or rather 2 new jobs, back in 2015.  I was only working two days a week back then and wearing two hats.  I was a Community Counsellor with our local Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) picking up the overflow for mental health counseling and I was also the Accreditation Coordinator and overseeing the beginnings of Accreditation for CMHA.  I’m still with CMHA but in mid-January I moved into a new full-time role as Housing Preservation Counsellor.  It’s nice to have the work, and don’t get me wrong, but it’s also tough working five days a week.  How do people do it?  

     My day usually starts around 7am.  My wife comes and wakes me up and I have breakfast and my one coffee of the day.  I shower and shave and then make my lunch and get dressed.  I’m out the door just before 8am and at work by 8:30.   We live in the country and given that it’s Winter in Canada, I have to give myself a little extra time so I arrive on time and alive.  This last point will become clearer a little later on in this blahg. 

     I thought I was doing okay with the whole return to work thing and balancing my home life.  It has been a few years, approximately 7, since I had a job where it required me to actually go to an office every day.  I’m usually home between 5 and 5:30pm every day now depending if I have to run errands after work.  My wife is usually home by 4:30 because she now works only five minutes from our house.  Compare this to the more than 15 years she worked in Trenton; a drive of 45 minutes one way.  In the past 7 years, I was always the one at home and I primarily took care of housework and meal preparation.  That isn’t to say my wife didn’t also do her fair share.  I think I relied on her to do most everything on weekends. 

     I think I should speak a little about my wife’s daily schedule.  By comparison, it probably is a busier schedule than mine.  For the past number of years, probably going back to when she first started working at her school in Trenton, she gets up every morning at 6am.  This gives her time to have her breakfast and do her bathroom routine and to also get children up and make sure they are fed and catch the school bus every morning.  We only have one teenage daughter left in the house but it’s still part of my wife’s morning routine to nurture our daughter out the door on time.  Add to all of this feeding the cats and putting out the garbage and recycling every week.  I’m not a morning person so the past number of years I concentrated on the afternoon schedule when the children came home from school and up to and including dinner preparation. 

     Somewhere I’ve gotten sidetracked but listing all the things my wife does is certainly selling her short.  Now that I’m working, she had to recently call me to the mat.  I was letting her make dinner and clear away dishes from breakfast and dinner.  One night she had to say to me that she wanted a little help because I seemed to be letting her do everything.  She was right.  I was coming home from work and trying to catch up on some things on the computer or just flopping down and engaging with our daughter or watching television.  That’s not a good thing.  Like I said, she had to call me on it.  At first my reaction was to think about saying this was payback for all those years that I did the after school routine and had dinner preparation on the go before she came home.  Fortunately my brain is still working and I stopped myself from responding that way.  Instead, I took it to heart and have been better at being more in tune with her needs and what is needed doing around the house. 

     So, this blahg is about the balancing act.  I want to share something else that has to do with balance.  Last month I went to a workshop of dealing with grief and loss.  One of the handouts from the session had us looking at some children “Climbing The Tree of Life” and circling the child that we felt best represented who we are at this moment in our lives.  You can click on the image on the left to view the image better and to see that I selected the boy in the middle.  I felt he best represented me because he was about half-way up and seemed happy.  I also felt he was centered and had a good observation point.  When I volunteered this to the person who was leading our training, she referred to the boy as balanced.  Balanced or Centered, I think they mean about the same thing but the Balanced part ties in better to this blahg.  That’s me.  I think I really wanted to choose the kid hanging upside down who is drawing attention to himself but I don’t think I need to be that kid anymore.  But my answer may change if you ask me on a different day. 

     I want to add something else that happened a couple of days before the workshop about grief and loss.  I was driving on my way to work when my truck hit a patch of black ice and began to fishtail.  I tried to correct it by steering in the direction of the skid and taking my foot off the gas.  Unfortunately my vehicle began to spin around and around.  This was in a section where there were no houses and luckily no other cars coming in either direction.  On the left side of the road was about eight feet of shoulder and then a field protected by a wire fence.  On the right side of the road was five feet of shoulder before it dropped away about 60 feet into a marsh below.  The photo above gives you some idea of the layout.  It was only taken recently and not on the day of the accident.

     When I started spinning in circles I was hoping if I had to go off the road that it would be on the left.  No such luck.  I spun out to the right but luckily the snow was deep enough that the rear end of the truck stopped fast in a snow bank.  I heaved a quick sigh of relief when the truck came to a stop but then it started to slide backwards toward the cliff edge because I didn’t have my foot on the gas.  I quickly put my foot back on the gas and she climbed out of the snow.  When I looked at my tire tracks I noticed there was less than two feet from where the truck had stopped to the edge where I would have dropped off to the marsh.  On my way home, I tried to find the spot where I had gone off the road but the snowplow had come by in the meantime and obliterated my tracks.  If I had gone off the cliff then no one would have known that I was lying in my vehicle at the bottom of the cliff.  All I could think was that my wife and children might never know what happened to me until Spring.  That was a sobering thought indeed. 

     I know that last part really doesn’t have anything to do with a balancing act but it did put everything into perspective.  What would have happened… I don’t want to even finish that thought.  With all that thinking of what if, it did inspire me to write a new poem; which is something I haven’t done in a while.  I’ll close with that.  No song, no music, just my words:

 

                                   the balancing act

take a boy in a tree
legs akimbo
aware of sky and ground
trying to be somewhere in the middle
years pass
boy becomes older
bigger
maybe taller
maybe just bigger around the middle
maybe married
maybe children
maybe job
trying to stay balanced
on his limb
his own limbs flying
flying objects in the air
trying not to let anyone or anything
come crashing down

there’s no prize to keep your eyes on
you can’t look away
or everything falls away
maybe steal a glance here or there
at other boys in the tree
more likely other girls
but don’t let anyone catch you looking
certainly not the wife
sometimes you get a glimpse
of another part of the tree
the branch not taken
and you wonder

and in that instance
you drop something
your guard
your focus
and you shift
direction maybe
weight to another foot
and you pick up someone else’s load
maybe that parent
who climbed up after you
and now there’s things on your shoulders
more to bear
bear down
stay centered

some boys jump
walk way
from the jumble around the trunk
see the brass ring
maybe a selfish one
a way down
hide among the bushes
and be someone else
another boy

can’t be that way
this boy’s staked a spot
defend it
cherish it
wave off birds
other intruders
other boys
those other girls glimpsed from a distance

the balls are still in the air
plates spinning
head erect
eyes forward
no longer balancing
part of the tree
maybe the tree
rooted
beckoning to the other boys
catching their kites
so they have to come nearer
see this boy’s foliage

reaching out

calling out

climb up
climb up

stay awhile

 

      If any of you have read my blahg from the last time then you’ll know that this is the second half of my fiftieth blahg. There are probably those of you who will probably point out this should be called ‘This is 51’ because this is actually the 51st blahg.  Cut me some slack or I’ll never get this blahg published. 

     If you remember from last time, if you cared enough to even read my previous blahgs, then you’d know that I’m trying to recap the previous 50 blahgs with some funny commentary.  I’m going to have to take some artistic license because I’ve skipped the recap on some of the blahgs because the content was similar to other blahgs.  I guess you can only write so much about Christmas, Cats, and Dixieland Jazz before you start being unoriginal.  Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll get back to those topics again one of these days.  Last time I left off with number 25, so here’s the rest.  You’ve been warned.

26.  A 2013 Christmas Mish Mash Experience.  The point of that blahg was to share some photos of my outdoor Christmas display.  I also gave some recommendations for Christmas video watching.  Below are the shots of my new outdoor displays.  Unfortunately the eight foot Santa from 2013 blew his motor and I haven’t been able to find a replacement.  So, I substituted a moose and have added a few others in the past 2 years.  Oh yeah, the twinkling lights on the side of my house also died so I’ve got new ones that I hope will last a few years. 

Here’s my Christmas video recommendation for this year.  This a video of a Sydney, Nova Scotia woman playing the chimes at what used to be the St. Andrew’s Church.  She plays “Angels We Have Heard On High” and boy does she get a work-out. 

 

27.  Aye Aye Itunes, This Customer Is Always Right.  Except when I’m buying my wife something for her Birthday or Christmas.  Then she’s right.  No doubt I’ll have to return it because I didn’t listen to what she was telling me the first time.  What’s that dear? 

28.  That Was The Month That Was…Or More.  That particular blahg was about the oil spill that necessitated the tearing down of my parents’ old house.  That was then.  This is now.  They have a new house on the old site and everything looks good.  Dealing with Banks, Insurance, Builders, and Lawyers over that year taught me so much.  Yes, now I can use big words like ‘necessitated’ or combination words like ‘rat-bastards’ when dealing with Insurance companies. 

29.  “I’m Pulling For You Deb Talan”.  That blahg was about some of my favorite music but mainly about Deb Talan and “The Weepies”.  I am happy to say, as I have said before, Deb Talan won her fight with cancer.  The Weepies released a stellar album this year called “Sirens” and I’m glad it was also issued on vinyl.  One great thing about this time of year and The Weepies is that they have a hilarious snow globe on their website www.theweepies.com.  It has some animated characters running around and when you move your mouse and shake the globe, all the characters go flying and scream.  Of course it resets itself but there’s a great holiday song from The Weepies playing in the background.  If you can’t view the snow globe then you don’t have ‘flash’ installed.  Here’s that holiday song, called “All That I Want”:

 

30.  I Hates Polly Tics!  A blahg about politics (or as Popeye would say, “Polly Ticks”  I described a politician spouting the same old clap trap as listening to a parrot with a tic.  Thus the Polly Tics reference.  At least we have a new federal Liberal majority government and we can get something done.  If there’s anything worse than a bureaucrat offering up the same old party line, it’s a bunch of arguing politicos who act like children in a sandbox fighting or crying over a toy. 

31.  The False Ducks Video Blahg #2:  We Will Not Be Voting Conservative!  And we didn’t!  Seriously Scott, why not make your next video blahg a musical that we can all sing along to? 

32.  Wanted:  One Good Job.  Found:  2 Good Jobs, but I’ll speak about that later.  Wanted:  One Good Plumber.  Seriously, I have a leak in my basement and I’m going to have to take off work early and go home and fix it before I have an indoor swimming pool. 

33.  Is This The End?  I was just being reflective because the summer was coming to an end and I didn’t have enough to keep me busy.  I was wondering if I would find better things.  Well, I recently found the Christmas CDs I misplaced last year.  I’m hoping to find peace of mind or at least World Peace.  It isn’t the end.  It’s just the beginning.  Or maybe I missed the end.  Maybe it was the Big Bang and everything ended and everything’s starting anew again.  The Big Bang.  Is that World Peace or World Pieces?

34.  What Scares Me.  That was a statement and not a question.  Now if you are asking a question, that’s something completely different.  I’m scared of mice.  There, I said it.  I don’t do mice.  If they get into the house, my wife has to deal with them.  Funny, we have cats but my wife and daughter make a big deal of taking the mice away from them.  What are the cats for, then?  I’m also scared of being so funny that people will laugh at something I said and spontaneously com-bust.  Oh yeah, I’m scared of people spontaneously com-busting.  I’m not cleaning that up. 

35.  Some Christmas Memories.  There’s Christmas popping back up again.  That’s what you get for writing a blahg around this time time of year.  One of my favorite Christmas memories occurred when I was working in Toronto.  I had to take the subway somewhere and there was a young woman playing a Christmas song on the flute.  She was on the upper level and I could hear her well and chose to hum along.  The subway train came and went on the opposite track and drowned out the sound of the flute.  When I could hear the music again, I was surprised that my humming was still in sync with her playing.  Beautiful. 

36.  Je Suis Charlie.  No comment needed. 

37.  My Good Life.  Who doesn’t like watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” at this time of year unless you’re a Scrooge and then there’s a totally different movie just for you.  I do have a Wonderful Life and I need to keep remembering that.  Sometimes when things are not going well, instead of asking what’s wrong, I should ask myself what’s right.  The love of a good woman and wonderful children.  World Peace would be nice.  All I can do is keep putting it at the top of the list.  

38.  My Unbelievable Life…Starring Me.  Another blahg about my incredible life that sometimes is too unreal to believe.  Instead of talking about the craziness, I’ll just quote the following song lyrics: 

Up at dawnin’, sleepy and yawnin’
Still the taste of wine
Then I remember you’re mine and
I’ve got a world that’s fine

What’s before me, routines that bore me
Punch the clock at eight
But what a lucky guy I am
I’ve got a world that’s great.

Atom bombs, Cap Canaveral and false alarms
Half the universe is up in arms
So I flip a little too, until I’m holding you.

What’s the hassle, I’ll buy the castle
We can live like Kings
If we’re together forever
I’ve got a world that
You’ve got a world that
We’ve got a world that swings!

https://youtu.be/0FPG7ljm-3Q

39.  Soup & Sandwich: A Love Story.  A marvelous video created by my daughter Abbie, that’s worth reposting: 

40.  Frank’s Last Story.  Pass.  That was too sad to repeat.  I’m showing off one of my favorite pictures of Frank.  If you want to read about better times with him, read the blahg:  The Christmas Cat.

41.  Found:  One Good Job (Plus).  This talked about my two positions with the local chapter of the Canadian Mental Health Association.  It looks like I’ll be increasing my role as Mental Health Counsellor in the new year.  Oh great, now I have to wear clothes five days a week…but I’m not complaining. 

 

Okay, so at this point, I should be moving on to number 42.  I will in a moment, but let me explain the slight gap in the narrative.  I started my last blahg by reviewing the 50 blahgs I had published up to and including that blahg.  I split it into two blahgs because I felt a review of all 50 would be too long for one posting.  Unfortunately, I’ve skipped over a few blahgs because their topics were very similar.  That left me nine comments short and that’s where the artistic license is going to come into play.  The next nine don’t refer to specific blahgs but are important to me none the less. 

 

42. The Number 42.  Well, that’s significant enough because it’s only the answer to life, the universe, and everything.  If you don’t get that reference then you’re one of those people who doesn’t read and only enjoys sports.  It’s from “The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy” by the late Douglas Adams.  For you sports fanatics, it’s also the jersey number of the great baseball player, Jackie Robinson.  Coincidence?  I think not. 

43.  The Christmas Mayonnaise.  I started to write a short story a few years ago to explain my friend Bryan’s depression around this time of year.  He calls it his Christmas Malaise.  I try not to feed into it and I’ve joked about it by calling it his Christmas Mayonnaise.  His malaise can be like a black hole and suck you in.  I didn’t finish the Christmas Mayonnaise story but that black hole reference reminds me of another Christmas story I did finish: 

The Hole

          Ben struggled with the Christmas tree all the way to the curb. It was Boxing Day and he couldn’t stand to look at it in the house a moment longer.

            “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya,” Ben mused as he gave the tree one last heave and balanced it against a snow bank.

          Ben Miller didn’t mind Christmas but there was only so much a man could take. He was still stuffed from the turkey and the pies from the day before, he’d wallowed all month in the sentiment from numerous Christmas movies, and he’d gotten exactly the gifts he had asked for from his wife and kids.

          Ben looked down the block. No other house had a tree out at the curb. All of his neighbours usually waited until New Year’s Day or after to rid their homes of their evergreens. There wasn’t even anyone out on the street either. They were probably still all inside and reveling in the Christmas spirit. Ben didn’t get it. Why hang on to it? What was the purpose? It was time for it all to come to an end and for the holidays to move on.

          Turning to look down at the other end of the block, Ben noticed the Hole in his front yard. Immediately he fell back into the tree on the bank. There shouldn’t be a Hole in his yard!

          Oh, it wasn’t that there was a Hole in the ground or a spot where the snow had melted to reveal a bald patch in the yard. Rather there was an upright Hole about Ben’s height just standing there in the middle of his lawn. It was pitch black and nothing could be seen on either side of it when you attempted to look through it.

          Ben cursed at the scratches he’d received from falling against the tree. Struggling out of its branches, Ben eyed the Hole and wondered what on earth it could be.

          “What on earth could it be?” Ben asked aloud. He was more than a little shaken from his first sight of the Hole and from falling into a tree that no other house had leaning against their snow banks.

          It took a few minutes for Ben to compose himself as he studied the Hole and rubbed at the scratches on his arms and legs. His robe had fallen open and he stood open in his boxer shorts to any and all. But there were no onlookers. There was just Ben and the Hole and that stupid tree.

          “Stupid tree!” Ben wrapped up his robe and tried to think what he should do next. He was sure the Hole hadn’t been there before. He would have seen it as he struggled with the tree out to the curb. Maybe it was a reflection, he thought. Maybe it was the sun reflecting against the snow.

          “That’s stupid,” Ben muttered aloud. “The sun wouldn’t reflect a black hole. It’s probably…” Ben stopped himself. “A Black Hole. Like in space maybe. I’ll bet that’s what it is.”

          Sure that’s what it was, Ben thought. It had to be. It was some kind of Black Hole like those scientists were always talking about. Only this one was in his yard and not in space.

          Explaining it this way to himself made Ben more at ease. Half the terror of a thing is not knowing what it is. That made sense. Well, it made about as much sense to Ben as there being a Black Hole in the middle of his yard.

          Feeling the tension easing, Ben decided to check out the Hole a little closer. First he walked all around it. He was right. It was a Hole. It was flat and he couldn’t see through it. “Yep, it’s a Black Hole. Funny, I thought it would has some force that would suck you in.” Ben was enjoying this a little. The thought occurred to him that besides there being no trees against snow banks in front of the other houses, his was the only house that had a Black Hole on the front lawn. Ben swelled up with some pride. He thought maybe he could sell tickets or something or that maybe those scientists who were always talking about Black Holes would probably pay big money to study this one.

          Ben walked up closer to the Hole and tried to peer into it to see if he could make out anything inside. It was at this point that Ben felt a hand on his back and was pushed abruptly into the Hole.

          It was dark. Ben stumbled forward from the force of being pushed into the Hole. He couldn’t see a thing.

          Suddenly there was a blinding light and he shut his eyes against the glare. Opening them slowly, Ben was startled to discover he was standing in his yard again about ten feet behind the spot from where he had stood only ten seconds earlier peering into the Hole.

          Ben might have continued pondering this revelation if it wasn’t for the other revelation that he was standing on his front lawn looking at himself peering into the Hole.

          Ben started to stumble backward and remembered his earlier backward stumble into the tree. He caught himself quickly and stayed upright.

          It couldn’t be. How could he be over there peering into the Hole and here staring at himself peering into the Hole? What was that thing? Was it even a Hole? Maybe it was some kind of Time Portal. Scientists were always talking about Time Portals as much as they were Black Holes.

          But why would a time portal only take him ten seconds into the past? What could be the purpose of that? What could you even do with those ten seconds again? It wasn’t like it was time enough to change the world or something. What could you do with ten seconds?

          Slowly it dawned on Ben. He hadn’t just been given ten seconds. He’d been given another chance. It was all about the value of time. Not about rushing through it or discarding it like it had no value or meaning. It was a lesson. He could look at things differently. He could make other choices. When looked at that way, ten seconds seemed liked time enough to do anything. It was the perfect gift for someone who thought they’d already gotten everything they’d asked for.

          Ben knew what he had to do. He had to live like every second had been given back to him to use correctly. He wouldn’t mess it up. To make it all work he only had to do one thing.

          Ben walked purposefully across the gap between himself and his other self who was peering into the Hole. Ben put his hand out and pushed himself into the Hole. Turning, Ben went to the curb to bring the tree back into the house.

 

44.  Donald Trump.  What is this guy’s problem with mausoleums?  He wants to ban mausoleums from the United States.  When the guy comes around with the push cart and says “bring out your dead”, he won’t have anywhere to take them to.  Our comedy show “Dead From The Neck Up” once got in trouble for commenting on our local Mayor’s style by asking “What’s with your friggin’ hair?”  I want to ask Donald Trump that. 

45.  Dead From The Neck Up.  As I alluded to, in number 44, I once performed in a radio sketch comedy show called “Dead From The Neck Up.”  It used to be called “2 Guys In Short Pants” but after that Mayor’s hair comment we got pulled for a couple of weeks so we reformatted and came back as “Dead From The Neck Up.”  I’ve been meaning to write a blahg about our experiences, and yet I may, but I’ll at least offer up two of my favorite Christmas PSAs that I wrote for our show. 

 

46.  Speaking of Bing Crosby.  Now you won’t get that reference if you didn’t listen to the above audio file, “Teddy The Topless Dancer’s Christmas Message”.  What would Christmas be without the movies “Holiday Inn”, “White Christmas”, “Going My Way” or “The Bells of St. Mary’s”?  But I also want to draw attention to Bing Crosby’s great Christmas music.  Recently, my daughter spouted some statistic that “White Christmas” was Bing Crosby’s biggest selling single of all time.  I wondered about that because I saw an interview in the 1970s with Bing Crosby and Gene Shalit where Bing said his highest selling record was his 1935 version of “Silent Night”.  A recent search for the current standing shows that Bing’s recording of “White Christmas” is the number one selling single of all time, followed by Elton John’s special recording of “Candle In The Wind” from 1997 and then Bing’s “Silent Night” in third.  I actually found the video of the interview between Bing Crosby and Gene Shalit:

For the record, excuse the pun, here’s Bing’s 1935 recording of “Silent Night”:

 

47.  Clifford D. Simak.  That’s another blahg that needs writing.  He’s my favorite science fiction author and I have a website dedicated to his short science fiction stories:  The Science Fiction Short Stories of Clifford D. Simak.  I started the website in May of 2005 as a way to fill my time.  I wanted it to be one of the most comprehensive websites about this late great author but there is a new website dedicated to the work of Clifford Simak that covers releases in many different countries:  Clifford D. Simak – The International Bibliography.  In many ways it is far superior to my website but I have been encouraged by others to keep my website going.  This past October saw a new release of some of his short stories and it included the release of “I had no head and my eyes were floating way up in the air” which was submitted in the 1970s for publication in Harlan Ellison’s “The Last Dangerous Visions”.  That anthology has never been published but that lost Simak story is available in the new Simak anthology “I Am Crying All Inside and Other Stories: The Complete Short Fiction of Clifford D. Simak, Volume One”. 

48.  My Favorite Christmas Song.  I have many and on my list are many singers.  There have been some great albums in the past few years by artists like Carly Simon and Annie Lennox; to name but a few.  Of course Sinatra and Bing Crosby are no slouches and it wouldn’t be the holidays without music from them.  This year I’ve been enjoying some Christmas music by Leigh Nash who was one of the members of Sixpence None The Richer.  She has a fantastic voice and released a Christmas EP of 7 songs back in 2006.  She, as a single artist and with Sixpence None The Richer, have released other Christmas songs on various artist compilations.  Most tend toward the religious theme but I think they’re all good.  I made a CD of all of her Christmas songs and this is one of my favorites:

49.  My Favorite Christmas Movie.  Again, too numerous to mention.  I do want to give a nod to ten that I enjoy that most people probably haven’t seen but I think are worth tracking down to view (in no particular order): 

1.  Mr. Soft Touch (1949)
2.  The Holly and The Ivy (1952)
3.  Holiday Affair (1949)
4.  Nativity! (2009) – a very funny film and probably the most recent on my list
5.  It Happened On Fifth Avenue (1947)
6.  Remember The Night (1940)
7.  Fitzwilly (1967)
8.  The Gathering (1977 TV Movie)
9.  The Man In The Santa Claus Suit (1979 TV Movie)
10.  The Homecoming:  A Christmas Story (1971 TV Movie that inspired “The Waltons”

50.  Favorite Christmas Memory.  I know this is sort of a cheat because number 35 was Some Christmas Memories.  I guess I just have some great Christmas memories that I want to write about.  It would be hard to keep it to just one.  I talked about my Christmas Cat.  Certainly the first Christmas with my wife or many Christmases with my children would make the short list.  Yesterday, I told some colleagues about the Christmas when I was in grade six and got beaten up at school just before Christmas.  I related the story to the Principal and he called the older boys who laid down the beating on me but they spun a different story of me attacking them.  The Principal was stupid and chose to believe them.  I let loose with a string of expletives aimed towards the Principal and got suspended.  My Mother forced me to apologize or the very large present under the tree, with my name on it, would disappear.  I apologized but didn’t mean a word of it.  The present was an aquarium.  It’s probably in the landfill now, the bullies are probably languishing in prison, and the Principal is rotting in hell; I live in hope. 

Seriously, I can’t think of a single memory that tops them all.  But that Christmas when I managed to reach 50 blahgs and stretched it to 51 certainly stands out. 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

 

      A funny thing happened as I was preparing to write a new blahg.  Funny things always happen on the way to work, the forum, this blahg.  The truth is that maybe it’s not all that funny but I intend this blahg to be funny regardless.   This is blahg number 50.  That’s right, I counted them all up and there were exactly 49 before this blahg. 

     Fifty blahgs in 4 years?  I’m sure that’s not a record to boast about.  I remember when I started this blahg that I had high ambitions.  I deluded myself into thinking I could write two blahgs a week.  I then amended that goal to write 50 blahgs before I turned 50.  I turned 50 in September of 2012.  I guess I missed that goal as well.  To tell the truth, I’m just glad that I’m still writing; even if I don’t know if anyone is reading. 

     If I’m being really honest, some of my blahgs were a cheat; in a way.  There have been a couple of video blahgs and one where I just posted “Je Suis Charlie.”  Still, those were times where I made a concentrated effort to at least post something.  So what about this blahg?  I don’t really want to rehash what I’ve posted before but I also want to pay homage to the 49 blahgs before this one.  And I wanted to make it funny.  So, I thought fifty statements pulled from or related to the previous blahgs that sum up my philosophies.  Of course, I realize that posting 50 statements with some commentary, images, or music would make this a very long blahg indeed.  That’s why this blahg has a “Part One” added to it.  You’ll get the second half in my next blahg.

     Here goes with Part One: 

1.  The Most Happy Sound.  I guess this is subjective.  It might be the sound of your own voice or someone else’s voice when they’re telling you they love you, or they like you, or they tolerate you, or they’re paying back that money you loaned to them and gave up all hope of getting back.  Maybe it’s the first sound or first word from your child.  It could be music or a train whistle or a dog whistle if your hearing’s that good.  I think the most happy sound is “there, another blahg done”. 

2.  Frank Sinatra.  I wrote two blahgs in the beginning about Sinatra.  If you haven’t guessed:  I AM A FAN.  I once saw a button that said, “It’s Sinatra’s World, We Just Live In It”.  Given that Sinatra would have been 100 on December 12th of this year, I think that’s still appropriate.  Come back to the five and dime, Frank Sinatra, Frank Sinatra. 

3.  When A Good Man Goes Missing.  Go looking for him.  There’s a lyric to a song from the movie “Meet Danny Wilson” starring Frank Sinatra and Shelly Winters that goes like this:  “A good man nowadays is hard to find.”  No he’s not.  Sometimes he’s right under your nose…or behind this blahg. 

4.  Turn off your cell phone.  That originally was meant for people in movie theaters.  Now I’ll open it up to everywhere else.  Turn it off and put it away.  You might just discover there’s a big beautiful world out there that you couldn’t see behind your phone’s screen.  You might also avoid walking into a telephone pole or oncoming traffic.

5.  David Letterman Broke My Cookie.  Mmmmmmm, cookies!  Especially Christmas cookies.  Pass the milk please. 

6.  Merry Christmas.  I know it’s probably not politically correct to say that but substitute words and celebrate whatever you celebrate.  Me?  I said it was going to be Sinatra’s birthday on December 12th.  I’ll celebrate that.  Happy Birthday Ol’ Blue Eyes! 

7.  Happy New Year!   In another month it will be 2016.  Of course the Chinese New Year won’t be until February 8th, 2016.  It will be the year of the Monkey.  I was born in the year of the Tiger.  My youngest daughter was also born in the year of the Tiger.  Funny, neither of us looks good in stripes. 

8.  The Death of A Big One.  I wrote that blahg about the shutting down of the file sharing website, Megaupload.  That now defunct website has been in the news again recently.  Shady dealings and underworld ties are all the rumors.  That particular blahg also saw the publication of one of my poems, “The Death of a Big One,” about a giant snowman and my friend ‘The Gar’.  I reconnected with ‘The Gar’ by email this year.  That will be this thought.  Reach out and touch someone…but ask permission first.

9.  The Washing Machine.  Well, we still have that washing machine and it still works.  My old dishwasher died however this past year but I won’t mourn it here.  Besides, the new one works much better.  Oh, by the way, clean out your lint traps on your drier and vacuum out the venting hose.  We found that made a world of difference in our drying time.  Anyone know how to knit a sweater from 10 pounds of dryer lint?

10.  A Little Crazy In The Head.  Or you could say, Poco Loco In The Coco.  A nice song but then I don’t need a song to tell me I’m a little loco.  Who am I kidding?  If the loco comes in any other sizes, I’m probably an extra-large. 

11.  April Fools.  My friend, Glenda, was born on April 1st.  She is very clear that if a joke is played after noon on that day then it doesn’t count as an April Fool’s Day joke.  I wonder if she was born before noon?  If not, then I guess she’s just an ordinary fool or joke like the rest of us. 

12.  I Shined Jerry Lewis’ Shoe.  True story but then you’d know that already if you’d read that blahg.  This past weekend I re-watched “The Geisha Boy”.  It is still a very funny and moving film.  When are they going to release his last movie, “Max Rose?”  Get on with it! 

13.  Toshiba Sucks.  I don’t know if they still do but I still have problems with my Toshiba Blu-Ray player.  Really, it was their customer service and their product that did all the sucking…sucking the energy right out of me.  Only a Hoover should suck.  Get it?

14.  Some Things To Celebrate.  Well, let’s see.  Christmas.  New Years.  A Federal Liberal majority here in Canada.  Oh, and there’s that thing about Sinatra’s 100th Birthday.  Did I mention that already?  Probably did, but then maybe I didn’t.  My mind’s a little fuzzy, I’ve made it to 50 and I’ve been celebrating a little too hard.

15.  The Life of Riley.  The salt of the earth.  The apple of my eye.  The sweat of your brow.  Practise what you preach.  The writing is on the wall.  All phrases that have come and gone and come back again.  PT Barnum once put up a sign saying “this way to the egress”.  He wanted to move his patrons along but when they went to find the egress they found the exit instead.  They both mean the same thing.  He also said there’s a sucker born every minute.  If you’ve read this far, I guess it’s true.

16.  Advice For The Next 50:  Think For Yourself.  I’m tired.  You think of something funny for this one.

17.  Remembering Phyllis Diller.  I still miss Phyllis Diller but it’s time to remember some other celebrities who left us in 2015:  Dickie Moore (Our Gang star and first on screen kiss for Shirley Temple…not too shabby).  Martin Milner (Route 66 & Adam 12.  “One Adam 12, One Adam 12, see the man.”).  Jean Darling (another Our Gang star.  Are there any left?)  Yvonne Craig (1960s Batgirl.  Forget Cat Woman, it was always Batgirl).  Omar Sharif (“Lawrence of Arabia”, “Doctor Zhivago”, “Funny Girl”…that guy had class).  Patrick Macnee (Another actor with class.  John Steed from The Avengers…not Marvel folks, the British spy series).  Dick Van Patten (One of my favorite TV Dads.  Father to the “Eight Is Enough” brood).  Leonard Nimoy (Spock, among other things.  I got to meet him and shook his hand about 7 years ago.  He was a delight).  Anita Ekberg  (What a beauty.  I think she was the ‘bust’ in the Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin comedy “Hollywood or Bust”).  Donna Douglas (Elly May Clampett on The Beverly Hillbillies.  Did I say it was Batgirl that floated my boat?  I better amend that to say it was a tie with Elly May).  Frank (Our Christmas Cat.  We had to have him put down this year and he still is missed every day).

18.  My Christmas Wish List.  I don’t know what’s on my Christmas Wish List for 2015 besides World Peace.  World Peace should always come first because everything comes second to that.  Health, love, and happiness are all there.  I wished on the first star of the evening the other night and wished for World Peace and then a Happy Christmas with my family.  That’s all I really need.

19.  What Is Wrong With The World?  I ask myself that every day.  Maybe I should spin that question and ask what’s right with the world.  What Is Right With The World?  There are lots of good people and lots of good things happening.  Unfortunately those get overshadowed by the bad things done by bad people.  Maybe it’s time to focus on acknowledging all the good.  Remember my little ditty?  “Do good.  Do good, it’s brotherhood.  It feels so good to say, ‘I did good’.” 

20.  If You Can Read This, You’re Too Close.  Leave it to me to turn a bumper sticker into a blahg about my own poetry.  Roses are red, violets are blue, if you like my poetry, there may be something wrong with you.

21.  The Better Person.  Be the better person.  You may be right but you don’t always have to prove it.  To heck with that.  I’m always right.  In your face!

22.  Deanna Durbin.  My body might belong to Batgirl or Elly May but my heart, after my wife, belongs to Deanna Durbin.  Do yourself a favor and watch “Lady On A Train” over this Christmas season.  It’s always a favorite in our house.

 

 

 

23. More Poetry From The Mind of Scott Henderson.  Here’s one for this holiday season.  If you ever wondered about the word ‘Xmas’ then this might explain it to you.

 

                                              ‘bout Xmas

now I don’t expect
ya’ll get the meanin’
of that
‘til sometime
in mid-july

and ya’ll be sittin’
in the cab
of a half ton truck
stopped at
a railroad crossin’

and ya’ll look up
at that
big X sign

and ya’ll remember
mid-december
in yer winter parka
at the Walmart checkout
behind someone searchin’
through her purse
fer the correct change

 

24. I Am Still Here. This was a sad blahg about the death of my friend Roni and our little kitten, Willow (aka Super Faster Hair).  I had not written for a while before posting that blahg.  That happened again this year after the passing of our beautiful cat Frank.  Over the past 4 years of writing this blahg, we lost not only our cats Willow and Frank but June and Stella as well.  I don’t want this to be all sad so I’m posting a picture here of Zoey and Annie.  Zoey has been with us a couple of years but Annie is our new addition that came into our home this past August.  This is the first picture I have posted of our little black kitten, Annie.  You can see that she and Zoey are best friends.  Click on the picture for a larger view.

25.  All That Jazz.  The original title of that blahg was “Zoey, Frank, June & All That Jazz” but I’ve already talked about the cats.  I continue to enjoy Dixieland Jazz and I think I have mentioned, or maybe I haven’t, that I really like The Salt City Five who later became The Salt City Six.  If you are curious about the name, they originate from Syracuse, New York which once had big Salt productions.  Now you know the history of the name and now you can enjoy their music.  Here’s a real swinger called “That’s A-Plenty”, taken from their self-titled LP “The Salt City Five” on the Jubilee label. 

Next time:  THIS IS 50, PART TWO

 

 

      I think I’m finally getting my groove back. At least  it hasn’t been four months since my last blahg.  If I calculate correctly it’s only been about three weeks.  That must be a record for me.  I probably would have written sooner but…well read on and you’ll find out. 

     I have half-heartedly been trying to think of a topic for this new blahg.  Some things have happened in the past three weeks that certainly could have been a good topic.  We had a federal election here in Canada and the Conservatives were ousted and the Liberals, under Justin Trudeau, gained a majority.  I was tired of politics so I decided not to waste my time on it.  One note, I’m glad to see Stephen Harper go.  Reminds me of the song, “I’ll Be Glad When You’re Dead, You Rascal You”.  Not to be one to wish ill on him, I’ll change that title to “I’ll Be Glad When You’re Gone, You Rascal You”.  Here’s hoping Mr. Trudeau, who is being sworn in today, will live up to all the electoral support her garnered. 

     The other topic I considered was the run Canada’s only baseball team, The Toronto Blue Jays, made towards the World Series.  It was quite the time watching them in the playoffs.  I have to admit, I didn’t follow them during the regular season but there’s something about a run at the pennant and the world series that swept most of us onto that bandwagon.  The Blue Jays made a phenomenal comeback against the Texas Rangers in the American League Division Series and certainly gave it their all against the Kansas City Royals in the pennant race.  Kansas City was the better team and they proved it by going on to win the World Series over the New York Mets.  Oh what could have been! 

     Neither of these topics really resonated with me for a blahg and even if I combined both topics into one narrative, I think I wouldn’t have been happy with the results.  All during this time, something happened to me on a personal level that resulted in the motivation to write this current blahg.  In June of 2014, I wrote a blahg entitled WANTED: ONE GOOD JOB.  It was my struggle to find employment that was meaningful and empowering.  Finding that one good job took some time, however, and is the topic for today. 

     I have detailed before, my work experience with the Community Development Council of Quinte (CDCQ).  While I was employed there I had the opportunity to work along side some wonderful people.  One of these people was my friend Sandie.  She was in charge of some good programs at the CDCQ and I was always impressed by her.  She left the CDCQ after I did but I would still run into her and always enjoyed having conversations with her.  She was very progressive and her employment choices were always leading her to better opportunities.  When I did meet up with her somewhere, she was always studying something and working to better herself.  Eventually I learned she had become the Executive Director of the local chapter of the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA).  I knew she was the right person for that role and when our paths would cross at meetings or conferences, I continued to be impressed by her. 

     This past summer, I was contacted by Sandie to have a conversation with her about a project being undertaken by CMHA.  I guess she too had been impressed by my skills over the years and wanted to know if I would consider assisting CMHA to pursue Accreditation.  I was certainly pleased that she had considered me for the role but I frankly had no experience in the Accreditation process.  What Sandie saw in me, however, was my research skills.  Essentially that’s what the role would entail.  It would involve investigating the various Accreditation organizations and guiding CMHA to make a decision that would best suit their needs.  Looking at it that way, I knew I could do a decent job for her. 

     During the first two months of my employment as Accreditation Coordinator, it was certainly a learning curve.  First, I had to get used to actually going into an office again.  The last two employment contracts I had allowed me to work from home.  Let’s say the dress code for working at home is quite different than those expected in a work environment where there are other people to consider.  I enjoyed my work however and it was great to be working with/for Sandie.  My friend Joan, who had also worked with us at the CDCQ, is also working at CMHA and it’s always fun to converse and kibitz with her.  I was only employed for one day a week, Friday, and there were some days when old home week with Joan and Sandie prevented me from getting all my work done.  That’s one of the perks that I would not trade! 

     After those first two months, I was given the opportunity to increase my employment with CMHA.  One of the programs offered by CMHA is Mental Health counseling.  There are individual and group sessions offered to community members as well as to tenants in the emergency shelters operated by CMHA.  Sandie came to me again and asked me if I would be interested in performing the duties as a counselor.  One of their counselors had been off on a leave and had been expected to return in November but had her leave extended until March.  This left her case load to be shared among the other counselors who already had full plates.  Sandie knew I had a background in Children’s Mental Health when I worked with Youthdale and offered me the counselor position for the next five months.  So now I work Tuesdays and Fridays while wearing different hats. 

     So, what is the point of this blahg?  Well, it’s about dignity.  I wanted one good job and got two…with the same agency.  Someone, in this case Sandie, saw the potential and the experience and took a chance on me.  I didn’t even have to submit a resume.  The first job was a quick meeting at her office and the counselor position was a phone conversation following an email.  I can’t tell you how this has made me feel.  No wait, of course I can tell you.  I felt wanted again.  Here was someone, Sandie, who recognized my skills and knew I could do a job that I, myself, was unsure I could do.  Sandie is constantly telling me how nice it is to have me working at CMHA but I’m the one who feels privileged.  It isn’t often you get the offer of one good job…let alone two.

     I wanted to end this blahg with some appropriate music.  I recently discovered that most of the music files linked to my previous blahgs had been deleted from my server.  I’m in the process of putting them all back and making sure the links work.  Of course this gives me the opportunity to add some new music files.  In the past few months I have added quite a few jazz CDs to my collection by buying up some newly donated treasures at a local thrift store.  One of the artists I really enjoy is Broadway star Betty Buckley.  I bought eight CDs by her and one of my favorites was from her first album that she released in 1967.  She’s very young and bubbly.  One track I really enjoy is “Call Me.”  It’s about someone being there for someone else.  It speaks to what I’m doing now and what Sandie did for me.

UPDATE 2021: 

I don’t work there anymore.  It’s a complicated story and I’ve moved on.  Enough said!

     It’s happened again.  Three months have elapsed since my last blahg. You might think it’s the same old story but believe me when I say it’s a completely unbelievable story this time around.  I sometimes think my life would be a great movie, of course starring me, but then I also think that I wouldn’t want to watch it.  Let’s bring you up to speed. 

     I mentioned in my last blahg that my father fell at the end of January and broke his hip.  He was in the hospital for six week and came home in mid-March.  While he was in the hospital they made a diagnosis that he had functional dementia which simply means he functions well in his home environment.  This makes sense because he had some bad days in the hospital when he didn’t even know who I was.  Part of this was due to the long stay and because he had become dehydrated.  After they started getting fluids into him, he responded well but still had his off moments.  Given the fact that they had made the functional dementia diagnosis, the Doctor said he would have to report it to the Ministry of Transportation and my father’s license would be suspended.  That ended his driving.  I’ll quickly add that my parents decided to give me their 2005 Ford Escape because I continue to take them to appointments.  I’m working on transferring the ownership over before the end of this month.  Last week, however, a police car followed me home and a police officer questioned me about the ownership of the vehicle.  He said he had scanned the license plate and the registered owner had come back as having a suspended license.  I knew they were going to pull his license but it’s been more than two months since I was told that by the Doctor and we never received a letter from the Ministry.  I’m working a little harder now to get that vehicle transferred to my name. 

     The two months since my father came home have been fairly hectic.  He had some incontinence issues which were not fun to deal with but he’s doing fine now for the most part.  He walks with a walker because he’s still very unsteady on his feet.  His mental capabilities are better now that he’s home and also able to to smoke.  There was an incident this week that I will write about shortly though that has stopped his smoking for good.  I need to first talk about my mother. 

     It has not been easy for my mother to have my father back at home.  There have been many support workers coming into the house for my father and my mother wasn’t getting all of the attention.  This has caused her to have many mood swings and to play up her normal daily ailments.  I’ve been working to have her assessed for her mental health and her mental health nurse saw her two weeks ago and her preliminary assessment wasn’t all the favorable.  I think however that the assessment came at a very bad time.  My mother had been complaining a lot more about her arthritis and other ailments.  She had already been to her Doctor a few weeks before and her pain medication had been increased so I knew we couldn’t get it increased again.  Monday evening of last week, my mother called me and said she had the flu and wanted to go the hospital.  I tried to explain to her that you don’t go the hospital for the flu.  She decided to tough it out.  The next morning I receive a call from my father’s home-care worker that my mother was very weak and almost fell.  I drove in and decided to take her to the hospital.  In fact, she was so weak that I couldn’t get her into my vehicle so she had to go by ambulance. 

     I’ll start a new paragraph on this saga because it will lead into the current situation.  I followed in my vehicle thirty minutes later to the hospital; giving them a chance to take her in and assess her.  When I got to the hospital she was siting in a wheel chair in the waiting area.  It took another 4 hours before she was admitted to emergency triage and another 15 minutes after that before we saw a Doctor.  He said Mom was not at all well and that her blood work showed that a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) had played havoc with her blood pressure and kidneys.  I’ll shorten this part of the story by saying she was admitted to the hospital and put on a regimen of antibiotics.  She responded very well and was doing well enough that she came home this past Sunday. 

     My mother continued to improve when at home but on Tuesday evening she called me because she had fallen and could not get up.  My wife and I met my sister and her husband at the house. We managed to get her back on her feet. She had gotten up about 10 that night to get a drink and didn’t turn on any lights. When going through the dining room she tripped over a laundry basked by her chair and went down. She didn’t hurt herself and after examining her we determined she was a little shaky from the accident but had not injured herself. Wednesday morning I received a call from her nurse who has been checking on her since she came home. Mom had fallen again. She did not injure herself but her blood pressure was way up and she had a temperature of 103. She suggested Mom go back to the hospital because her UTI may be flaring up and Mom was pretty weak. I drove in and met my brother Dan and his wife at the house. I could see Mom was in rough shape so we called for an ambulance because we could not move her. Dan and I waited an hour after the ambulance took her up and then went to the hospital. We had to wait another half hour to see her in Emergency. She was hooked to an IV and was sound asleep. The Doctor had not seen her yet and they told us we should go home and they would call with an update.

     I received a call from the Doctor in charge in Emergency that day at 5 pm. She told me my mother was in very bad shape and that the whole family should come up to the hospital because her blood pressure had dropped so low that they couldn’t get it back up and they thought she wasn’t going to make it. I called everybody and we all met at my parents’ house before going to the hospital. My brother Dan was the first one to arrive at the house and the smoke alarms were going off. My father had set fire to the table cloth and kitchen table while smoking. It completely ruined the table. See the photo for damage.  Needless to say that all cigarettes have been confiscated.

     We all went with my father to the hospital. When we saw my mother she was in rough shape. She knew something was wrong when we were all there. She began to rebound however, to some new medication and fluids and within an hour her blood pressure was back up and the prognosis was much better. There was a different Doctor by this time and he said she was miles better than when the previous Doctor had made the call an hour before. It looks like Mom picked up an influenza pneumonia strain from the her last stay in the hospital and it was dormant for a couple of days before hitting her hard. She is in an isolation room at the hospital but they expect her to make a full recovery. I saw her last night and she’s doing better but she’s still pretty weak.  

     That was pretty much the week that was.  A quick note to end off this incident.  I saw a very similar table to the damaged table at a local thrift store.  They wanted $150 so all of my siblings and I each threw in some money and bought the table and installed it at my parents’ house.  If my mother is home for Mother’s Day it will be a nice present for her.  She’s aware of of the fire and damage to her old table and when she’s home and has enough strength, she’ll probably kill my father.  That will be one less parent to deal with and the other will be in jail for his murder.  I joke. 

     I didn’t want to make this blahg all sad news with nothing joyful to note.  There has actually been some great news.  Deb Talan of The Weepies has survived and beaten her cancer.  In the interim,
The Weepies released their first studio album in five years.  For Record Store Day last month, there was a special purple vinyl LP release of the new album.  I was lucky that my local record store, Sam The Record Man (there used to be a large chain of those in Canada but ours is the last one), had two copies.  I was reading on The Weepies Facebook page that many fans drove for hours or stood in line for hours and came up empty.  The picture on the right doesn’t do it justice.  It’s a fantastic album. 

     The title track “Sirens” was released a few months ago and it started me salivating at the prospect of the new album.  Give a listen to the title track: 

 

     I think the music on this album is great.  Steve’s vocals are very appealing on his tracks and Deb shines just as equally on her own.  I won’t post more from the album but encourage you to go out and buy your own.  I also purchased an autographed CD from their online store but the autographed ones are sold out but you might be able to still purchase the vinyl record.  Check out their store:  http://theweepies.bigcartel.com/products 

     There was also another interesting release last month.  There was a new Sinatra CD and it created some buzz among Sinatra collectors.  The CD, Ultimate Sinatra, contains 25 tracks from across his career and numerous labels.  The single CD contains 24 previously released tracks and one previously unreleased alternate take of “Just In Time”.  If you bought the CD from Starbucks, the CD also had an extra track of “Chicago” which was also previously released.  There was also a two CD deluxe set in North America where the second CD contained some, but not all, tracks of a concert that Sinatra performed at the Sidney Stadium in Australia in 1961.  If you buy the same 2 CD deluxe set from an Australian retailer then the second CD contains the full concert.  There is also a four CD set that contains 100 tracks (including the 25 on the single disk) and a previously unreleased rundown of Sinatra singing “Surrey With The Fringe On Top” in 1979.  If you buy that same 4 CD set from the United Kingdom, you get the four CDs plus a code to download 4 previously unreleased alternate takes of Sinatra songs.  If that isn’t enough, there’s a mega set out of Japan that includes an extra disk of Sinatra singing duets with Japanese artists.  Of course the duets are digitally done since Sinatra has been dead since 1998.  The set also contains a DVD of how they did the digital duets.  I purchased the single CD, ordered the 2 CD Deluxe set from Australia, and ordered the 4 CD set with the digital downloads from the UK.  I’ve drawn the line with the Japan release.  I don’t need everything. 

     Well, I think I’ll close this blahg.  It’s been a very busy and very complicated life these past few months.  I’d rather have the simple life so I’m going to close this out and let Mel Tormé swing us out with “Give Me The Simple Life.”  This comes from the album, “An Evening with George Shearing & Mel Tormé”.  Enjoy!

 

     Has it really been two months since my last blahg?  I know I’ve been busy but where has the time gone?  Some days it seems like I don’t have a moment to myself and one of those moments could have been used to write a new blahg.  Today I have a few minutes before I have to go out and do some Valentine’s Day shopping.  I know it’s tomorrow but at least I’ll have that on time.  So here’s today’s quick blahg. 

     As you may or not know, depending on whether you read my previous blahgs, we were working towards getting my parents into their new home.  For newcomers, here’s the quick recap:  Big sheet of ice fell off the roof at my parents’ home last February (2014) and struck their oil line and sent 800 litres of oil into the ground.  The house was torn down, my parents were relocated, the soil was removed and re-mediated, and a new house was built on the old lot.  My parents took possession on December 18th.  We managed to get them moved in the same day and get the house set up over the next few days before all of their other possessions were delivered three days before Christmas.  Then came Christmas dinner with 21 of us in the new house for Christmas dinner.  My brother and his wife who live in Ohio and their three young boys came up and stayed over the holidays.  They handled Christmas dinner and it felt like I was on holidays for a while. 

     Jeanette and I had a good Christmas with our own children and my daughter Emily’s boyfriend Charlie even managed to visit for a few days.  The holidays seem to always come and go too quickly.  I didn’t finish that new Christmas story that I was working on.  I will get back to it but it might not be until next Christmas.  My outdoor Christmas display also took a beating this year.  My eight foot inflatable Santa blew the mount for his motor and no longer would inflate.  He has been replaced with a seven foot Christmas moose.  I won’t post any pictures right now but I’ll be sure to photograph my Christmas 2015 display and include the moose and the Snoopy that I got for Christmas.

     One last note on Christmas 2014.  My youngest daughter Abbie, aged 16, bought me a present for Christmas that shocked and astounded me.  I had for years told my children the story of one of the items from my teen years that I was never able to acquire but always wanted.  It was a Rom the Space Knight action figure put out by Parker Brothers in 1979.  It inspired a Marvel comic as well that I enjoyed reading.  It is a collector’s item now and runs between one hundred fifty and two hundred dollars if you can find one.  I know that Abbie spent way too much money on it but I guess it was her way to try and make up for the difficult times we had last fall.  I’ve been trying to be more patient with her and things have been better. 

     Now for “from better to worse”.  My father fell two weeks ago and fractured his hip.  He’s still in the hospital but in the rehabilitation wing.  The picture on the right was updated after this blahg was previously published.  He looks better and is doing better.  Once he’s up on his feet he should be doing better.  At least he hasn’t smoked in two weeks and hopefully he will be around to celebrate his 78th birthday on May 24th.  Keep your fingers crossed for him. 

     So why “My Good Life?”  Well, for starters, I had been thinking about calling this blahg “My Crappy Life” or “It’s The Hard Knock Life” with the latter being an homage to the song from “Annie”.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately that as bad as things are they could be worse.  Case in point.  Last week I was waiting for a phone call on my Dad’s stay in the hospital and had left my cell phone number in a message for someone at the hospital.  They happened to call me back when I was driving.  I pulled off to the side of the road, as a good driver should, to take the call and my car slid off the road into a ditch and lodged in deep snow.  It took an hour to get a tow truck and get out and that cost me $75.  Still, I was alright and there was no damage to the car.  I chose to see the positive in things. 

     Here’s another example.  My daughter wanted to see the 2004 Disney movie “Teacher’s Pet”.  She had been five when it came out and doesn’t have much recollection of seeing it in the theater.  I tried for two days and went to eight stores but could not find a new or used copy of the DVD.  I reluctantly ordered a copy from Amazon Canada.  Two days later the package arrived but it did not contain the DVD of “Teacher’s Pet”.  Inside was a Mini AV to HDMI switch box.  How on earth could anyone mistake a DVD for this thing?  I could understand if they sent me a DVD of the 1958 film “Teacher’s Pet” with Clark Gable & Doris Day by mistake.  By the way, I already own the DVD of the 1958 film.  I quickly chatted with Amazon and they sent me a prepaid label to send back the switch and the correct DVD was dispatched and arrived today.  You have to wonder and you have to laugh. 

     So things are not all that bad.  I have my health and the love of a wonderful wife and children.  My Dad’s coming along and my car is running fine.  I even have “Teacher’s Pet” to watch with Abbie.  So it’s a good life…it’s my good life. 

     I always try to add music to these posts and I toyed with the idea of ending this blahg with Tony Bennett’s version of “The Good Life” but I didn’t think it was really what I wanted as a tie-in.  By the way, I received the new Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga CD “Cheek To Cheek” and it is thoroughly enjoyable.  But as for the music today, I’m going to offer up a selection from an LP I found recently at a local thrift store.  It’s “Kings of Dixieland Volume Two”.  I wasn’t going to buy the record because the jacket was split all the way around but the record itself was actually red vinyl and I thought that was worth the $2.  Some invisible tape fixed up the jacket and the record actually played well.  The track I have chose to play from this LP is “Wait ‘Till The Shines Nellie”.  That old chestnut is full of optimism and really swings.

So that’s it.  Keep the faith.  Keep smiling.  Look for the silver lining.  You get the drift.

JE SUIS CHARLIE

      Okay, so I haven’t written a blahg since before Halloween.  I have been busy people.  You will notice however there is a new picture of me to the right that was taken by my friend Tom a couple of weeks ago at the nighttime Santa Claus Parade in Belleville, Ontario.  It was cold and Tom was annoying with his camera.  Not a bad picture though. 

     So now we move past Halloween and on to Christmas.  Today is the second day of December and I’ve been thinking a lot about old Christmas memories.  It really started with my daughter Abbie and I trying to come to an understanding about Christmas and her Birthday.  Her Birthday is December 16th and so she gets presents on her Birthday and nine days later on Christmas.  This year she told us she didn’t want us buying anything for her for her Birthday or Christmas.  She didn’t really have a good reason but when pressed I think she thought we were one step from the Poor House.  That’s her on the left, walking for her school in the Belleville Parade (another picture courtesy of Tom). 

     We had some fine arguments about her stance on the no presents situation but finally I boiled it down to the giving versus getting philosophy.  She’s the one that brought it up first and insisted it should be about the giving and not the getting.  I agreed with her and stressed that it was about the giving for me.  Every year I try to find something nice or rare that my children have mentioned over the year and that I’ve filed away in my brain.  It’s a nice thing I enjoy doing and I didn’t want Abbie taking that away from me by saying she didn’t want anything.  She understood my point and how important this was for me.  Not a great memory getting to that agreement but it did remind me of other memories of Christmas past. 

     I don’t recall what was my earliest memory of Christmas but I do recall a lot of snow filled winters.  One of my favorite Christmas memories was one year when I was about ten years old.  That Christmas, my older brothers Tim, Todd, and I all received new toboggans.  They might have been Krazy Karpets for all I remember.  You remember Krazy Karpets.  I thin sheet of plastic between you and the ground that went at breakneck speed with no brakes for trees other children.  Check out this video below for an original commercial from the 1970s for the Krazy Karpet: 

    

     That was a fun digression from the story.  Getting back to the memory, we received some form of sled for Christmas and late in the day, after Christmas dinner, we took our sleds to Vinegar Hill.  Now Vinegar Hill was a reputable toboggan hill in our neighbourhood. I don’t remember why it was called Vinegar Hill but some quick online research reveals that it is near where the Belleville Fruit and Vinegar Company operated in 19th Century.  The toboggan run was actually a series of backyards on a hill.  It was surrounded on four sides by houses but the hill part was long and there were no trees.  We tobogganed well into the evening and I remember the moon was out and it was snowing.  I don’t think I’d spent a better Christmas Night as a child.  Years later, the houses at the bottom of the hill erected a fence along their back property lines and cut the hill in half.  So much for Vinegar Hill. 

     Jump ahead a few years and I’m 13 or 14.  The Belleville Santa Claus Parade is looking for people to wear costumes and walk in the parade.  My brother Todd and I stand in line outside of the old police station for over an hour to get a costume to wear in the parade.  I don’t remember what Todd ended up with but when I finally go through the line, I was stuck with a giant Papier-mâché clown head.  My head bobbled loose inside and there was no red cape left to cover my winter coat.  The picture at left gives you the idea of what size these heads were like.  I have no actual pictures of that parade but it was exciting to walk the parade route and try to keep that head balanced on my head with one hand and wave with the other. 

     The following year, Todd and I were determined to get better costumes.  This time we had to stand out front of the Belleville Armory in a crowd of other kids until one of the organizers pointed you out in the crowd and allowed you in to pick a costume.  There seemed to be no organization and after not being chosen a few times, I located a loose brick from the Armory and removed it to stand on.  I stood a half head taller than most of the other boys.  It did the trick and Todd and I were the next ones chosen to enter the Armory.  When we got inside we noticed a line of other young people, the previous chosen ones, lined up along one of the Armory walls.  We didn’t know we were meant to join the end of the line so we just went to the head of the line and entered a roped off area where they kept the costumes.  Nobody questioned us. 

In the costume area we saw those Papier-mâché heads but we were determined to avoid those.  Luckily we immediately spotted Batman and Robin costumes.  Score!  I didn’t get to be Batman but I was just as happy with Robin.  These were the classic 60s style Batman and Robin costumes to boot!  We gave our names and address and walked away with the prize of our youth.  On the day of the parade, we were lined up behind some float next to a young woman in a Catwoman costume.  We jumped and tumbled along the parade route and were hugged and adored by all of the children.  Batman and Robin trumps a big head any day. 

     I don’t remember any more special memories from my teenage years but I’ll add a not so great memory from around that time I was ten years old.  My Mom and Dad would always wrap a few presents ahead of time and place them under the Christmas tree to tempt us to be good.  They didn’t always tell us which present belonged to a particular child of us six children.  I remember that year there was a very large and heavy rectangular present under the tree that we all hoped would belong to each of us in turn.  Before the Christmas holidays I got into a fight at school with some older boys.  I didn’t start the fight nor did I end it.  We were all playing king of the hill where you climb on top a big snow pile and try to stay on top and be crowned the King.  I remember I was knocked down by Terry Moon who was the bane of my brother Todd’s existence.  They hated each other and of course Terry Moon hated all of Todd’s siblings for no good reason other than being related.  I wasn’t stupid enough to try and go after Moon when he knocked me down but he jumped down off the pile and started to pummel me regardless.  Soon three of his buddies joined in and they lay down a good beating on me.  I was covered in snow and snot was coming out of my nose profusely.  I was crying quite a bit and no one came to my aid.  The beating only stopped when the school bell rang for the end of recess. 

     After the beating was over, a young friend of mine helped me up and I went to the washroom to clean up.  This friend must have told a teacher because I soon found myself whisked to the Principal’s office to tell what happened.  Between sobs, I told my story and gave up Moon and his cronies.  They were hauled down to the office where they all laid out a yarn about how I had attacked them and had fallen in the snow on my own.  They all said they hadn’t laid a hand on me.  Mr. Post, the idiot Principal, chose to believe them over me.  I had no witnesses of my own in that office.  To say I was shocked or indignant was to say the least.  I couldn’t believe that idiot Principal.  I let into him with a verbal tirade of swear words the like of which he had probably never heard before or since from a ten year old.  I was suspended immediately for one day.  That wouldn’t have been so bad but when I got home and told my mother about my berating of the Principal and of my suspension, she informed me the large present under the tree was mine and if I didn’t go back to school the next day and apologize to Mr. Post then it would be given to one of my siblings.  I should have called her bluff but a big present to a ten year was powerful stuff.  I returned to school the next day and made the apology.  I don’t recall much about the apology but I can tell you I was secretly insincere.  The big present turned out to be an aquarium.  The aquarium is long gone but in my fantasy Mr. Post was fired in disgrace and Terry Moon and his cronies all ended up in jail later in life or are dead.  Merry Christmas! 

     What’s next?  I have great memories of Christmas with my wife and children.  I don’t think I’ll write about those today.  Maybe another time.  Christmas memories always contain music in my recollection.  I’m a sucker for great Christmas music and I begin listening to it early on in November.  I remember one January, yes January, Bryan and I put together a radio show of all of the great Winter or Snow songs that cease to be played after Christmas.  Why is that?  Many of the songs like “Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow” “Winter Wonderland” and “Jingle Bells” don’t even mention Christmas.  This was why Bryan and I put together that radio special.  Here’s one of the songs that we included.  It’s Bing Crosby singing Hoagy Carmichael’s “The White World of Winter”: 

I think that’s it for today.  I’m going to get busy over the next few weeks leading up to Christmas as we are going to be finally moving my parents into their new home around December 18th.  I’m hoping to find some time to knock out another blahg before then and I’ll post pictures of my Christmas decorations and yard display and hopefully post a new short story I’m working on.  I’ll leave you with another beautiful Winter song sung this time by Frank Sinatra.  This one is his version of “Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow” from his Songs By Sinatra radio show of December 25th, 1946.  A world and age ago for this version but it’s beautiful and it’s a sentiment I’m looking forward to.  Let it snow.